The UberHusband and I stood in line for an hour on Friday afternoon to cast our Presidential vote. Now we just sit back, relax and wait for the results…and revel in the fact that we’re glad we went on the final day of early voting since it is supposed to be cold and rainy here on Tuesday.

And for the official record, he and I are both better off now than we were four years ago.

Okay, the Washington Redskins lost so theoretically, George W. Bush as the incumbent President should lose the election on Tuesday. BUT…his home state team, the Dallas Cowboys, won (we’ll pretend Houston doesn’t exist for this post)…a feat of gargantuan proportions. So, Washington lost but Dallas won…hence, the incumbent President will win.

And, as the UberHusband just pointed out…Pittsburgh is playing at Heinz Field and they’re playing the New England Patriots…and if the team playing at Heinz Field wins, then you would think Kerry will win…or perhaps, his wife will win. Tough to say at this point.

Jerry Rice…scary suit, buddy. I kept adjusting the contrast on my TV screen but just couldn’t get the squiggly lines off your suit and tie.

GAAAAAH. Four more days until The O.C.

This is a special edition of Snark Bites, dedicated to the eleven teams of The Amazing Race 6.

Adam & Rebecca are “formerly dating” personal trainers. Most former couples have the tagline of “formerly dating” for a reason. Generally, it’s not because they’re proficient in high-stress situations that test your personal resolve and the strength of your relationship. But, it should be fun to watch them fight and bicker.

Avi & Joe are proud Jewish “high school buddies,” whose most memorable moment was meeting Tom Wopat. Just a good ‘ol boy, never meanin’ no harm.

Don & Mary Jean have been “married 20 years” and met while married to other people. That’s interesting. Hmm. Married folks of the world, lock up your spouses! Just kidding. Grandkids of the world, lock up your grandparents!

Freddy and Kendra are “engaged models”. I’ll be the judge of that. Freddy’s a pilot as well, so you get more runway bang for your buck.

Gus & Hera are a father/daughter team and Gus thinks this experience will show him how good of a job he did as a parent. Oh yeah, the million dollar prize is pretty neat, too.

Hayden & Aaron are shacked-up models/actors who’ve been dating a whole eight months! By the time the show is over, they will have been dating a whole nine and a half months!

Jonathan & Victoria are married entreprenuers who are looking to TAR to “get their relationship back on track after many grueling discussions about starting a family that have taken a toll on their marriage.” Sorry, don’t want to be anywhere near that train wreck. When everyone said to go away on a vacation together to rekindle things…I don’t think this is what they had in mind.

Kris & Jon are in a long-distance relationship and want TAR to show them if they could handle each other 24/7. Good plan, because marriage and being together 24/7 is nothing but 12-hour pit stops, cramped seats on long plane flights and trying to show other couples that you’re better than them. Good luck. If you really want to know what it’s like to be together 24/7, go ask Jonathan and Victoria.

Lena & Kristy are sisters who are looking to TAR to give 26-year old single mom Kristy the chance to do all the things she’s never been able to do. Wow. That’s kind of annoying! I’m 32, kidless and haven’t done 99% of what they’ve done on The Amazing Race. That’s why life hopefully gives you 70 or 80 years. Talk about cutting off your life at a young age and assuming it’s all over.

Lori & Bolo are professional, married wrestlers who are looking forward to leaving their small town to get real jobs see the world. Let’s get ready to rumbllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllle!

Meredith & Maria are best friends. Meredith is “extremely competitive” and “sensitive,” while Maria is “very passive and non-emotional.” Doormat, meet foot. No one is competitive and sensitive. No one.

Based on just how all of the teams strike me, I predict…Gus & Hera will be eliminated first. It’s that whole father/daughter thing. Too much history and expectations and buried feelings and what-not to be successful…especially if you’re using the show as a parenting gauge. I’m lousy at this though, so get your cackling out of the way now when I’m horribly off-base with my predictions.

And no, I will never, ever, ever use the term Philiminated. Never. Ever.

I’m growing weary of the election coverage (the UberHusband and I will be casting our early voting ballots this afternoon), but this story drives it all home for me.

Dying Texan casts his final vote
12:56 PM CDT on Friday, October 29, 2004
Associated Press

TAHOKA, Texas - In the 10 days after Welch Flippin decided to stop dialysis and began succumbing to kidney failure, the 85-year-old Texas farmer and World War II veteran had something on his mind. Something, he told his son, he just had to do.

He wanted to vote.

So when early voting started last week, his son went down the road to the Lynn County clerk’s office in Tahoka, a one-stoplight town of nearly 2,000 people 30 miles south of Lubbock, and asked if he could take a ballot home to his ailing father.

The clerk offered instead to make a house call.

“In a small town, we’re able to do that,” County Clerk Susan Tipton said Thursday. “But I’ve never had one that was under hospice care, so it was harder emotionally.”

The next morning, she went to the house and saw Welch Flippin, a man she had known for years from his work with veterans. When he smiled and greeted her by name, she knew he was alert enough to vote. She told him he could sign with an X. But he signed his name clearly.

When she left the room to give him and his son privacy, Perry Flippin held the ballot and started asking his father, a staunch Democrat, for whom he wanted to vote.

“You like Kerry and Edwards?” Perry Flippin, retired editor of the San Angelo Standard-Times, recalled in a column in the newspaper.

“Naw,” he replied wearily.

“Bush and Cheney?”

“Naw.”

The elder Flippin answered, “Yeah” when asked whether he liked 13-term Democratic Rep. Charlie Stenholm. His son marked an X for Stenholm.

He dozed off after that and did not talk to his son or wife again. The next day, Oct. 20, he passed away. His last conscious act was casting his vote.

Under state law, the vote will count.

“I think he knew exactly what he was doing, and I was privileged to cast that last ballot,” his son said Thursday. “I’m surprised that he would be thinking about that on his death bed, but he thought his vote was important.”

Holy Korean laundry, Batman…Sun speaks English!

In my weekly Lost quest to decipher the “twist of fate” that found each of our poor castaways at Camp Fuselage (which isn’t tough to do), Sun’s was pretty easy to figure out. Young and in love with Jin, Jin sells his soul to Sun’s devil father so he can marry her. Over the years, the once-romantic man she married grows angry, bitter and comes home covered with blood giving her this cockamamie story about how he “has” to do whatever her father says so they can be together. That’s the thing buddy…you’re never together.

Determined to leave a loveless marriage and get out from under Daddy’s stranglehold (Lord, what does that guy do?), she learns English and has a plan to “disappear” from the airport…the Sydney airport…at 11:15 a.m. She’s just supposed to walk out, get in the waiting car and…disappear. Once everyone thinks she’s dead, she’s free to move about the cabin. But, Sun has a last-minute change of heart when her husband smiles at her in the terminal and shows her a flower…the same one he used to woo her in his poor, scrupulous and drink-passing past…and she decides to stay with him and crash into an island. Awww.

That airport scene was confusing to me for a couple of reasons. First, in the flashback, Sun & Jin’s apartment looked like the same apartment they had in Singapore, but…uh…they were in Sydney? Secondly, the loudspeaker was announcing the final boarding for the Oceanic flight to…Singapore. I thought they were on their way to LA? Maybe LA via Singapore?

I swear, this television show is like one of those books we had to read in high school…The Scarlet Letter or A Separate Peace. You know the symbolism is there…and the obvious symbols are easy but then you start looking at everything as a symbol. That vertical scar over Locke’s right eye…that’s gotta mean something. Maybe it’s sort of pointing up and down…like to Heaven or Hell? The dog is a boy dog…what’s the significance of that? Plenty of bitches on the island already? Sawyer was reading Watership Down in last week’s episode…why, why, WHY? That’s probably just J.J. Abrams screwing with my head but…still. The great thing is that after 45 seconds of The Bachelor, my brain is back to it’s normal, uninvolved self. Way to go, ABC!

What’s frustrating at this point about Jin is that, even stranded on an island he still bears some abnormal allegiance to Sun’s father. Michael happens upon a $20,000 Rolex and puts it on his wrist…why, I don’t know. Time is of little importance so I guess he was just looking for a little bling to brighten up his daily routine of pacing the beach, pestering his kid and sharpening that chip on his shoulder with his ever-present ax. Out of nowhere, Jin tackles Michael and beats the crap out of him before Sayid and Sawyer step in and break up the fight. They take Marshall Shrapnel’s handcuffs and put Jin under house arrest until someone can learn Korean and communicate with them. Wander around the island long enough, and you’ll probably find a Korean-English phrase book. How do you say, “We’re screwed and no one is going to save us so get over yourself, already?” We already know how to say it in French.

But, turns out we don’t need a translator because Sun confesses to Michael via a very clear, “I need to talk to you,” that she speaks English. She explains that Michael’s new bling belonged to Sun’s father and Jin’s a little sensitive about allegiance and loyalty…blah blah blah. Well, if the watch was that important I probably would have had it surgically attached to my wrist. Problem solved.

Michael takes his ax (which he’s been grinding quite efficiently) and hacks the chain on Jin’s cuffs, then yells at him to stay away from him and his kid. Um…buddy, he doesn’t understand you. And by the way…what are you doing destroying the handcuffs? Now you can’t re-use the stupid cuffs when Hurley goes all Lord of the Flies. You know he will.

In other camp news, Locke facilitates Charlie’s rehab efforts with more mumbo-jumbo about the island being magical and if you build it, your guitar will come. We have a Sayid/Jack smackdown battle over whether the campers should relocate to the caves where there’s water, it’s cooler and probably safer or…stay on the beach and get dehydrated and sunburned but, on the .00000000001% chance that someone happens to happen by, they’ll be there ready to yell, “Help!” The show ends with the saps on the beach looking a lot less happy than the folks in the newly incorporated United States of AmeriJack. I also didn’t see Claire the entire episode…she’s 15 months’ pregnant…can someone go check on her?

I’m waiting for the episode where the focus is on the dog and why he got stuck on the island. Imagine…the show opens…a yellow lab eye opens and we see the events that led up to his fateful Oceanic flight. Or, they’ll just show us Walt’s story. That’ll work too.

What do you all think? Is the format still working? Whose story do you really want to know about? Now that we’ve seen Sun’s story, I want to know what the deal is with Jin. Who else am I curious about…Claire. She’s so sweet and cute and charming, she was probably a skanky crack whore in Sydney. I’d hate that but, since everyone is turning out to be completely different than what you’d expect…I’m probably not too far off base.

I haven’t watched Jack & Bobby since that unpleasant 7-button fiasco of September 19, but I understand there’s a subset of society who finds Christine Lahti’s liberal-mom-gone-mad act amusing and thinks older brother Jack is really hot.

Pandering to that subset, the show has taped three separate endings for it’s Wednesday, November 3 episode.

Lahti’s Grace McCallister, an unabashed liberal and the primary influence on her two sons, Jack (Matt Long) and future leader of the free world Bobby (Logan Lerman), will be waiting anxiously for the outcome of the Bush-Kerry contest in the episode, which will air one night after the real election. (Earlier this week, The WB moved “Jack & Bobby” from Sundays, where it was struggling mightily in the ratings, to Wednesdays, switching it with another freshman drama, “The Mountain.”)

It’s a “huge event for Grace,” Lahti tells USA Today. The three different endings are “one in which Grace will be elated, one in which she’ll be waiting four more years until Hillary [Clinton] can be elected, and the last in which Grace is nervously awaiting the recount.”

After November 3, the WB should just film all of the remaining episodes again and rename the show The Amazing Grace. The show can follow the life and loves of Grace McCallister as she tries to deal with life in the aftermath of 11/2.

If George W. Bush wins, Grace will plummet into a depression where even her midnight tokes won’t be able to rescue her. She’ll pack up Jack & Bobby, collectively renounce their U.S. citizenships and move to a small island in the middle of the Indian Ocean where she will teach English Literature to natives who have never heard of the ACLU.

Or…if Kerry happens to win…Grace will run out of the DNC headquarters and immediately set Money Grubbing Whore Dean Carol Vessey’s Ex house on fire because, well, he just looks conservative. Grace will be tossed in jail on arson and attempted murder charges, swiftly convicted by a jury of Republican non-peers and sent to Camp Cupcake. Bobby’s run for 9th grade class president next year will be thwarted due to the release of a photo of Grace from college, where she is seen attending a Young Republicans meeting and canoodling with young men in tailored suits. The grass-roots organization Permed Hair Feminists for Truth will picket the streets, launch a website and declare Grace an unfit mom. Gal Pal Courtney will get custody of young Bobby, further confusing the chap as they grow older.

But, who cares? Really! We’re all watching Lost, anyway.

Today is Cookie’s birthday. She’s 8. I’m the worst doggie mom on Earth. Her AKC papers, hence her lifelong sense of entitlement, clearly state that her date of birth was October 27, 1996, but for some reason I’ve been celebrating it on the 26th of each October. Oopsie.

She got a new yellow, stuffed duck toy and some of my scrambled eggs for breakfast. Not much fuss this year…you know how it is as we chicks grow older. I don’t know which is more unnerving…the fact that I’ve had her for eight years or the fact that I was only 25 when I brought her home.

Anyway, here’s a photo of the little monster the day after I brought her home. Six weeks old. 2 1/2 pounds. Full set of needle-sharp puppy teeth. See those little stuffed animals under the Christmas tree in the background? Yeah, those lasted about a day.

How about an informal poll? Just out of curiosity, if kids were to show up on your doorstep on Saturday night, would you give them candy? I wouldn’t. Halloween is Sunday. Besides…the UberHusband and I are going out to dinner Saturday night.

The Associated Press reports that some American towns are decreeing that Halloween be celebrated on Saturday instead of Sunday Oct. 31 this year in order to avoid offending folks who might object to the sight of mini goblins and demons wandering around on the Sabbath.

“You just don’t do it on Sunday,” Sandra Hulsey of Greenville, Ga., said of the trick-or-treating tradition. “That’s Christ’s day. You go to church on Sunday, you don’t go out and celebrate the devil.”

“That’ll confuse a child.”

If you’ve got such a problem with kids dressing up like a goblin or a witch or Pretty Pink Princess Barbie on the Sabbath that you have to shame your children by taking them out the night before, perhaps you should consider a move to Puyallup, Washington.

Assistant Superintendent Tony Apostle advised Puyallup principals in a memo last week that Halloween costumes and parties are now banned. Pumpkins and cornstalks are fine, he said, but witches, black cats or “similar decorations that are intended to frighten or scare individuals” are not.

Halloween is a religious holiday for Wiccans, the memo noted, and its celebration in mainstream culture has generated unsavory images that might offend real-life witches.

“Building administrators should not tolerate such inappropriate stereotyping (images such as witches on flying brooms, stirring caldrons, casting spells, or with long noses and pointed hats),” Apostle’s memo states.

Maybe I’m just cranky today but for chrissakes…people…please…quit making such a big deal out of everything! GAAAAAAH!!!

Turns out, it’s not that Ashlee can’t sing…no, no, no…that’s not why she was lip-synching on Saturday Night Live…it’s because she has…oh, it pains me to type this out…acid reflux. I heard a snippet of this story of Fox 4’s Good Day Dallas about an hour ago, and had to investigate further.

If Ashlee Simpson’s stomach was upset Saturday night, imagine how she’s feeling now. The 19-year-old singer was busted for a “Saturday Night Live” lip-synch gone awry. Her manager-father said Monday his daughter used the extra help because acid reflux disease had made her voice hoarse.

“Just like any artist in America, she has a backing track that she pushes so you don’t have to hear her croak through a song on national television,” Joe Simpson told Ryan Seacrest on Los Angeles radio station KIIS-FM. “No one wants to hear that.”

You’re right, Joe! 100% correct, Joe! NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR THAT! Why listen to her croak on national television when we can do it on the radio or…better yet…we can listen to you croak through an interview and do your best to preserve the gravy train that is your two daughters. Quick…rein Ashlee in because Jessica’s getting away!

It just dawned on me…that’s why I didn’t get that multi-trillion dollar record contract when I was 17…that nasty allergy I had to oak trees made my voice hoarse so singing at pep rallies was the best I could do. Damn. I coulda been a contenda!

I’m just finding all sorts of yummy tidbits this morning. Big Orange Michael sent me in the direction of a Christian mom who thinks “blog” is a euphamism for sex. Big Orange Michael also points out that the Holy Observer appears to be Christianity’s answer to The Onion so…enjoy.

As net-savvy teenagers everywhere know, “blog” is nothing more than a shortened form of “weblog,” or online diary. Mrs. Harrington, however, is worried that her daughter may be engaging in premarital sex. “Just yesterday Brittany told me she had been late for dinner because she had spent the day blogging at Heather’s house,” she told THO. “When I told her she was grounded for her sexual indiscretion, she lied and said that’s not what she meant. But I’ve seen those Monty Python movies, and I know all the lingo.”

Bonus points if you get the movie reference in the title of this post! Never mind…Vinny already got it…

Recently pink-slipped Stacy R. from The Apprentice has a website! According to her website, “She would love to host your next event or party.” She wouldn’t however, love to open a restaurant, design a clothing line or create a toy prototype. She really doesn’t want to wash your dog.

Ashlee Simpson may have been caught lip-synching on Saturday Night Live…blaming her band for playing the wrong song. Um…sweetheart, I really don’t think they’d play “Pieces of Me” twice. Besides…no one was listening because Jude Law was hosting! Rrrrrrrow!

John Cleese is hosting a new show on Food Network titled Wine for the Confused. You don’t frighten us, English pig dogs. Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person.

Catherine Zeta-Jones has filed a lawsuit against The Spice Club, “Reno’s friendliest topless cabaret,” for unauthorized use of her name and likeness. C’mon babe, why don’t we paint the town… and all that jazz. I’m gonna rouge my knees and roll my stockings down… and all jazz. Start the car I know a whoopie spot… where the gin is cold and the piano’s hot. It’s just a noisy hall, where there’s a nightly brawl… and all…that…jazz.

Conservative pundit Ann Coulter is terrorized by Al Pieda while giving a speech at the University of Arizona. Three more bullseyes and you win a big, stuffed teddy bear.

I watch American Dreams…and I’m not afraid to admit it. Sure, it’s hipper and more cool to watch Desperate Housewives and Lost…Hell, I even admit to watching LAX. But American Dreams? No one thinks that show is hot and sexy. I didn’t even start watching it until the second season, probably because my mom said it was one of her favorite shows and, no offense Mom, but I was expecting something more like Touched By an Angel or Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman so I avoided the show like the plague.

At first, I imagine the show could have fallen just to the right of goody-goody but now that we’ve truly entered the Turbulent 60s, the show is introducing interracial romantic attraction, free-thinking Catholic nuns, the first hints of the women’s movement, sharp-dressed homosexuals of the Rock Hudson persuasion and my personal favorite, good-girl-gone-bad Meg Pryor smoking pot, getting into trouble and turning into a general rebel-rouser. Sure, her teacher may have gotten fired (do nuns get fired?) for encouraging Meg to turn perennial school play Henry V into an anti-war protest, but Meg’s the one who kept the momentum going when Father HardAss tried to shut the production down.

I’m waiting for them to do something with younger sister Patty…she’s just a room-filler, in my opinion. Even when they try to give her character a storyline, it still makes me want to change the channels…after pulling her hair. Patty’s abrasive and rude and a complete know-it-all. The UberHusband said, “You didn’t have a younger sister, did you?” when I complained once about how annoying Patty was. No, I didn’t…thank God. Are all younger sisters like that? Blech.

This show is all about Mom, Dad, older Marine brother JJ and Meg…and that’s fine by me. The attempts at showing the integration of the African-American (Black? What was the term in the 60s?) community in Philadelphia plays like something out of a textbook of how the politically correct viewed the Turbulent 60s from a minority perspective. That’s my only big problem with the show. Oh wait…Nicole Richie as the lead singer of The Exciters…that was my other big problem.

I really want JJ to come home and be with Beth and their baby…but the preview for next week informed me that the Pryor family will get the news that JJ is MIA. Gee…thanks, NBC. Boo.

I found this article about Desperate Housewives being a microcosm of “modern American womanhood” intriguing. I’ve read my fair share of articles lambasting the new show for pigeonholing all women into one group or another but now I ask you…my housewifey female readers, to write your Desperate Housewife character definition. If we’re all so different…and unique…let’s celebrate that. {wink}

I’ll start. Join in…this will be fun!

Stacy…chucked the mandatory, lame department birthday parties of the traditional rat race for the calmer, sometimes lonely world of a home-office-based project manager/stay-at-home-doggie-mom. She has zero kids, a hot UberHusband and a perpetual load of laundry in the dryer. Does not make her own potpourri, but crochets afghans when not searching for the latest and greatest low-carb food item.

So, the UberHusband and I just got home from a Saturday morning matinee of Team America: World Police. I’m still shaking my head, because it was the funniest movie I’ve seen in a long time…hilarious in those oh-so-inappropriate ways: graphic sex, senseless violence, watching Janeane Garofalo get her head blown off. You know what I’m talking about. It was a funny movie. Very funny.

During the much-maligned almost NC-17 puppet sex scene I really wondered…what exactly did they cut? I couldn’t think of anything. Then it dawned on me…there’s another “sex” scene and if Trey and Matt wanted to go where I think Trey and Matt wanted to go…most of that could have wound up on the cutting room floor. I can’t divulge too much but if you see it, you’ll get it.

By the way…it was great being at an R-rated film and not seeing a single child there. This isn’t a kids’ movie…no way, no how. It’s for all grownups who still have a twinge of immaturity and enjoy senseless violence billed as a comedy. And the soundtrack? Hilarious.

Because the movie is from the guys who bring you South Park, it shouldn’t have surprised me that most of the characters sounded like Mr. Garrison and Kim Jong Il sounded exactly like a Korean Cartman.

There are some things money can’t buy…for everything else, there’s Team America. Ah…good times.

I have no TV watercooler conversations anymore because, well, the dogs don’t talk back to me unless my husband’s around, so humor me. What did you all think of last night’s shows?

Survivor

I really want to know…does anyone else find this season as boring as I do? I’m not sure why Lisa went home instead of the substandard, bug-eyed Eliza but hey, I’m not at Tribal Council so I don’t get a vote. Twila & Sarge? He said he’d date her…actually, he said he’d put a dress on her and take her out to dinner. Hmm. As long as Sarge doesn’t propose to her on The Early Show after he wins, I’m cool with their alliance.

The Apprentice

The big difference between Stacy R. from The Apprentice and my poodle Cookie is that Cookie is actually justified in her commanding presence. Sure, she’s small…and incredibly yippy…but she demands respect and gets it 99% of the time. Stacy R? Not so much. I feel for her though…in a previous, non-married life, I too was a Stacy R. I always wonder why The Donald brought certain people on the show when he obviously has such disdain for them and their personalities (”I hate people who exaggerate!” Pot, meet Kettle)…dunno, but you can’t tell me he didn’t know she was…like…that…before they started filming.

It did drive me nuts watching her talk about responsibility and complaining that everything was the project manager’s fault. This happens more than it should…I think I said this in another recap, but you can’t sit there and wait for someone to tell you what to do…especially if the whole point of you being there is to highlight your skills. This goes back to middle-school politics. Theoretically, if you tear down and rip apart your competition, people should see you for the amazing creature you are, correct? Wrong.

If you see a niche you can fill, step up and fill it. If you don’t see a niche, help someone else out or think of your own niche. Find a way to help in a productive way. Complaining is NOT help. The team will thank you and if your project isn’t a success, they can’t drag you to the Boredroom for the equally unsettling corporate minion characteristic of complaining.

Sayonara, Stacy. I did think it was funny when The Donald pulled everyone away from dinner…back into the Boredroom and, in a shocked and stunned tone of voice said, “I can’t believe you’re not prepared.” WTF? Prepared for what? If I’m done for the day, I change into shorts and a t-shirt. I bet Donald, Carolyn and George sleep in their suits…never know when you’ll be unexpectedly called away and can’t take five minutes to change your clothes.

ER

God Bless Susan, for not forcing herself to be maternal and for taking over as the Chief of Emergency Medicine. And, bless her even more for liberating Neela from her Quik-E-Mart post. I was hoping to not have to watch her sell nachos the entire season…but, her snarly retail skills do remind me of the guy that sells me my lottery tickets at the local 7-Eleven.

Anyone notice the new social worker? I read somewhere a while back that she was brought in to save Carter from ruining his life and his last season on ER. As much as I love Luka and Sam together, I don’t like the fact that they’re contemplating shacking up. If the two of them are in love and devoted to making “this” work, date a while longer, then get married. Don’t screw that poor kid around anymore. Please. Thanks. And oh yeah…Corday left.

It’s really #1 for me but I want to keep on track with Friday’s Feast, the Commanding Blog. A big mug ‘o beer to my blog buddy Big Orange Michael for sending me the link!

Appetizer
Name 3 things that you are wearing today.
A pair of khaki Keds, a t-shirt from the Halekulani…and pearl earrings.

Soup
Who was the last person you hugged?
My husband at lunch today.

Salad
What do you like to order from your favorite fast food place?
Beef quesadillas from Taco Bueno…with lots of red sauce.

Main Course
What time of day do you usually feel most energized?
Mid-morning.

Dessert
Using the letters in your first name, write a sentence. (Example: Sweet unusual spaniels are nice.)
Society taunts all crazy yahoos.

MARTHAWATCH! Martha Stewart cooks up some federally funded, contraband crabapple jelly at Camp Cupcake. That should pair nicely with the Cupcake Creek Private Reserve Moonshine she’s been distilling. Or a nice Chianti with some fava beans.

Americans are making a run for the border, eh, to get flu shots in Canada. It’s a flu shot, people. It’s not an injection to cure Kerryitis. Wash your hands often, stay away from sick people, eat lots of healthy foods and drink oodles of water. I’ve got asthma but am not considered nearly as “at risk” as others, so I’m taking all precautionary measures to ensure I don’t get the flu. Measure #1 - don’t leave the house until next March. Although…apparently…I could just hop on a plane and go to Canada. Hmmm…

Mary-Kate Olsen’s people tell us that she hasn’t relapsed and she’s still in college…she’s just conducting personal business in LA. This burns me up…I worked my ass off in college, went to all of my classes…didn’t have the luxury of jetting back and forth to conduct personal business on the other coast…ah Hell, maybe I’m just jealous but if you’re going to go to school, go to school. College is now your personal business. How can you be gone for “a few days” and only miss one class? I’m sure one or two worthy, albeit rejected, applicants to NYU would have given their left arm (assuming they’re righties) to be planted in one of NYU’s hallowed halls until winter break. Sheesh. Yes, thanks, I do feel better now.

Prepare to toss your panties, 30-something ladies…Duran Duran has reunited and has a new CD! “Girls on Film” just seems so tame now, doesn’t it?

Teresa Heinz-Kerry questions Laura Bush’s employment record, then flip-flops and says she didn’t realize Laura worked…in the past. Tell me Teresa, what does it feel like to have a Chanel shoe-clad foot stuck in your mouth? Does it taste as couture as one would expect or does it have a more bitter flavor?

I think I’ve figured out what it is specifically about Lost that gives me the willies…and causes me to beg my husband to not be away on business on Wednesday nights…because the show scares me…especially when it’s dark outside. The Bachelor scares me too, but in a different, more manageable way (anyone see that train wreck of a slumber party last night? Glad Mary, Queen of Tots is still around).

It’s the music. Lost has that intense, head-pounding score that indeed, makes my head pound. At the end of each episode I have this odd feeling that I, too am trapped on a surreal, mystical desert island with an eclectic mix of people and odd supernatural goings-on. Oh wait, I do. I live in a Dallas suburb. Hee.

As is de rigeur for each episode now, we focus primarily on one character. This time, it was Jack’s turn…Jack…de facto leader and accidental savior of Camp Fuselage. Turns out, Jacko isn’t the calm, cool, collected, confident guy we thought he was. Jack grew up with a troubled father, a distracted mother (Veronica Hamel!) and the mindset that he wasn’t good enough to do anything drilled into his head, what appeared to be every day. Sheesh…the guy made it through medical school…that’s got to count for something.

Anyhoo…Jack’s dad goes off on one of his habitual mental health sabbaticals, this time to Australia, and Mommie Dearest commands Jack to go get him and bring him home. We discover Jack’s dad had a heart attack and you just know a lot went unsaid between those two, because poor Jack wasn’t raised with the guts to tell his father off. One thing I love about Lost is how it ever so subtly points out to the audience that if not for a twist of fate, all of these people would have been on a different plane. Last week, because Locke was rejected from the Walkabout, he was on his way home early. This week, the ticketing agent at Oceanic didn’t want to let Jack and his Undocumented Dead Dad on the plane and suggested, “Perhaps another carrier…” might be able to accomodate them. Nooooooooooooooo…Jack wants to fly Oceanic and he wants to fly it now.

The guy that Jack keeps seeing…on the end of the beach, in the waves…that’s his dad. At one point, Jack starts chasing Dad through the jungle, slips and falls and is hanging off a cliff when Locke just happens to wander by (small island?) and saves our fair hero. I know folks think Locke is creepy, but he knows what the deal is on the island…and we’re starting to clue in, as well. Camp Fuselage is where you come to grips with the misery in your life…and you either triumph over it or you don’t. Locke tells Jack that everyone is looking to him to be the leader, whether he likes it or not…so it’s time to step up and assume the role. First though, Jack has to figure out what he’s chasing. After another sprint through the jungle (or the Turtle Bay Resort, as I’ve discovered…beautiful hotel, by the way…I’ve been there) Jack happens upon a fresh water spring (good thing, since the camp’s out of water) and Dad’s coffin. No dad, though. Oooooooooooh. {wiggling Halloween fingers} Jack beats the crap out of the coffin, gets out 38 years of pent-up anger and hostility and frustration…then pulls it back together and comes back to the beach.

He tells everyone that it’s unlikely anyone is coming to get them so it’s time to get organized and settle in. Yay! Can you take the blunt object you used to turn Dad’s coffin into firewood and knock Sawyer around a bit? Thanks so much.

What did you all think of last night’s episode?

Our local Angelika theater autosent me this email yesterday because I am a valued patron. I don’t remember asking for anything from them, but…I GOT IT! Guess I’ve been living under a rock? Never even heard of this film. Then again, it is the Angelika…

Dear Stacy,

YOU ASKED FOR IT…YOU GOT IT!
***************************

CELSIUS 41.11 Opens at the Angelika Film Center – PLANO on Friday, October 22!

“The Republicans finally have Hollywood’s answer to Michael Moore: Celsius 41.11″ - The New York Times

“Conservatives are launching a cinematic counterstrike”
- The Washington Post

“Republicans are aiming to give Michael Moore a taste of his own medicine” - Daily Variety

***************************

Synopsis:

“This film wins an entry into the debate. It’s going to be talked about.” – Jerome R. Corsi, author of “Unfit for Command”

The highly anticipated and long awaited rebuttal to Fahrenheit 9/11 is finally here. “Celsius 41.11 - The Temperature at Which the Brain Begins to Die”, is billed as “The Truth Behind the Lies of Fahrenheit 9/11.” Celsius 41.11 presents a point-by-point defense of President Bush by politicians, journalists and scholars. Discussing the legality of the Florida recount in 2000, the Clinton administration’s record on fighting terrorism, and the theory of American exceptionalism, this eye opening documentary is a must see for anyone questioning the accuracy of Michael Moore’s infamous film.

***************************

For showtimes and advance tickets, please visit:
www.AngelikaFilmCenter.com or www.moviefone.com.

For more information:
www.celsius4111.com

We’re slowly but surely coasting into the holiday gift-giving season, so if you’re drafting up a list, why not add a Rock Geeks Gone Wild calendar?

While you’re at it, tack on a his ‘n hers bowling alley, an Ed Stevens getup and these amazing stocking stuffers/holiday card enclosures.

Yep, I watched The Biggest Loser last night on NBC…all 90 minutes of it. I was skeptical going in…I hate reality shows that have the potential to be exploitive and was really hoping this one wouldn’t be My Big, Fat Obnoxious Swan. I was pleasantly surprised and encouraged to see various disclaimers that the weight-loss methods were “medically approved” and the contestants were monitored by doctors and that the weight-loss methods were tailored to each person’s individual health and situation.

Now that I have the obligatory medical disclaimer out of the way…the contestants (they’re competing for a $250,000 prize at the end) come from various backgrounds…young, older, morbidly obese and just plain overweight. At the beginning they were split into two teams, Red and Blue (both teams were of relatively equal total weight), and assigned a “trainer” to push them through the process. Bob (Team Blue) is a kinder, gentler trainer…wanting to immerse himself in the inner Zen of each contestant while Jillian (Team Red) sports a take-no-prisoners approach and pushes her team to the breaking point, at one point ripping a pack of cigarettes from Matt’s pocket and crushing them into a million cancer-causing pieces. That’s tough. Bowflex tough.

The teams go through the standard first-week agonies of doing with less food (or less of what they’re used to eating) and more exercise. I really felt for Lisa when she was practically crying over not being able to eat pancakes…I’ve been there. You see, watching the show, the first emotion I felt was empathy. I’ve been in these people’s shoes. Two years and three months ago I had this epiphany that I couldn’t get out of the car without some significant effort, my back hurt, none of my clothes fit and I had visions of bad health not too far down the road. So, I began my Biggest Loser journey. It took six months and some significant lifestyle changes, but I went from 172 (that’s a lot on a 5′4″ frame) to 138. Kept it off for quite a while too, until I went to Hawaii last June and pina coladas and beer and other crappy food put 7 pounds on me that I just haven’t taken off yet. I’m working on that. Really. I’m down three pounds. Four more to go.

Anyway, the teams also go through an “immunity challenge” of sorts…pulling cars (I had a Strongman competition vision flash in front of me) and the “non-winners” will have to basically give back 5 lbs. (could have done without the visual of 5 lbs. of lard though, Ms. Rhea) from their team’s total weight loss. So, if your team doesn’t win (you’re a loser but…well…so is the other team?), you already start out 5 lbs. behind (ahead?). I swear, this terminology is going to kill me.

At the end of the first week, the two teams re-grouped at the 24 Hour Fitness Scale of Shame and weighed in. The results were pretty much as I expected. Keep in mind people, if you have less weight to lose, you’re going to lose it more slowly…that’s just a physiological fact. Ultimately, the Blue Team lost less weight as a team, so they had to send someone to the Rose Ceremony/Tribal Council/Boredroom. On this show though, it’s called…snicker…”Cutting the Fat.” Blech. That’s the best they could come up with?

“Cutting the Fat” consists of Caroline Rhea sitting at a long table, facing all of the contestants a’la The Apprentice. She asks each contestant about his/her experience that week and then asks them which person should be sent home…that person’s name is on a piece of paper, presented on a silver platter (complete with dramatic lid-lifting). So quite literally, they are serving their teammates up on a silver platter.

As you would expect, the team unloads Dana, who has the least amount of weight to lose so, she’ll lose less each week. The team sees this as a liability. They want the fatter people to stick around because theortically, they will lose more weight and they won’t have to go answer to Aunt Hilda ever again. Aaron was kind of a jackass about it, because he basically said that since Dana didn’t have as much to lose as the rest of them (well, she also didn’t let herself go as far as you did, jerk…oops…sorry), she could lose her weight at home and didn’t really need to be there. That’s just mean. As Dana leaves, they turn out the lights on her Temptation Refrigerator (anyone remember The Family, and how they’d turn the art light off on each person’s portrait as they left the game? Same idea).

Nevertheless, Dana went home but in her post-fatcutting interview, talked about how much she learned from Bob and that the week she spent there changed her life. I know at least half of the people watching were rolling their eyes at that statement…because come on, how many times have we said something like that, only to return to our old, comfortable habits as soon as we could? Good for Dana though, because the update said she’d lost another 15 lbs. since the show and had a new outlook on life.

You know, it doesn’t matter if you have 35 lbs. or 200 lbs. to lose…if you can lose it, that’s awesome. I liked the show…I’ll watch again next week. Plus, watching something else on Tuesdays guarantees I won’t miss Scrubs.

Stop the presses, it’s another unconfirmed Amazing Race 6 start date!

Ask Ausiello over at TVGuide.com provides the scoop…although the Amazing Race 6 website over at CBS is still mum on an official start date…as of 1:09 p.m. CDT, anyway.

Question: When is Amazing Race 6 going to premiere? — Amy

Ausiello: You read it here in “Ask Ausiello” first, Amy: After two false starts, Amazing Race 6 will air Tuesdays at 9 pm/ET beginning Nov. 16. Race replaces the struggling Clubhouse, which is being moved to Saturday.

Being’s as I recap the show over at TVTome, it’s optimal that I know as far ahead as possible so I can ensure the laundry is done, dinner is cooked, my laptop power cord is functional and there are no storms to screw up our satellite that night.

**Update** I think I trust Reuters to be on the ball…and they confirm the November 16 start date.

Courtesy of Lisa over at Just a Girl…check out everyone’s favorite Breck Girl at The Silence of the Domes.

“For a guy who’s been known derisively to the Bush crowd as the Breck girl,” observes Shearer, vice presidential candidate John Edwards seems “way too interested in his hair.” He tries to straighten it with his fingers. A makeup technician approaches with a comb, but the senator likes it just so and does the combing himself. He signals he’s ready for hair spray by closing his eyes expectantly, like a child. Then Edwards and the technician straighten a little more with their fingers. Please don’t tell me that thing in his hand is a compact. Oh, dear. It is.

My my my…I don’t spend that much time on my hair…and I’m a girl. Want to know even more about the alleged sexiness of John Edwards? Nerve‘ll tell you. Thanks, FreakGirl!

Does anyone out there watch LAX other than me? Well if you do, you probably won’t anymore, since the show is being moved to the season’s second suicide time slot, 8 p.m./7 p.m. central on Wednesday nights. I’m not a Monday Night Football fan (don’t throw anything) so I looked forward to my weekly dramedy cheese fix courtesy of Ms. Locklear and Mr. Underwood. Now though, I’ll have to Tivo the darn thing because it will be up against Lost. We all know what happens if I miss Lost.

The NBC Executive Story is that LAX was getting pummeled in the Monday night ratings against CSI: Miami soooooo…conventional logic tells you to shift the show so it can now get pummeled in the Wednesday night ratings against Lost. Why don’t we just put it up against Survivor and be done with it? Pound that nail right into the coffin!

NBC will premiere a short, unscripted show titled $25 Million Hoax on November 8. The show centers around a young woman trying to convince her family she’s won $25 million. Or, as we at OWOBOS like to call it, My Big, Fat Obnoxious Waste of Time.

South Park creator Matt Stone tells undecided voters to stay home on Election Day. Omigod, they killed democracy! YOU BASTARDS!

“Club Paris,” a series of nightclubs inspired by celebutante Paris Hilton will open beginning New Year’s Eve in Orlando. I’ll let all of you insert your own “How hard is it to get into Club Paris” jokes here.

Perpetual houseguest Kato Kaelin and perpetual Apprentice cocktail joke Omarosa will participate in the second season of Court TV’s investigative reality series House of Clues. In the criminal justice system, overexposed celebrity attention-grabbing is considered especially heinous. These are their stories. BomBOM!

The woman accusing Fox News host Bill O’Reilly of sexual harassment wants her life and career back. No fair. The rest of us have to go through our supervisor and HR before filing the big ‘ol sexual harassment lawsuit. Andrea gets to just bypass that all because the alleged offending party is Grandpa Bill. By the way…how does someone subject you to phone sex against your wishes…three times? Um…hang up!

Batten down the hatches…William Shatner’s releasing a new CD. Come on…you know you want to buy it. You can get it at Amazon for only $13.49…Christmas is coming!

Martha Stewart has adjusted to prison life and is keeping busy behind bars since entering Camp Cupcake last week. If she can get the catering and logistics worked out in time, Club Martha will be opening New Year’s Eve in Alderson, WV.

Oh Raj…Raj Raj Raj Raj! It was one thing to watch you shamelessly flirt with Anna Kournikova last week…but did you have to shamelessly flirt with all of the Trump Models this week? For shame, buddy! Keep that up and The Donald will start thinking (if he doesn’t already) that your crotch is in the game more than your head is.

Anyhoo. This week on…The Apprentice…after high-fives all around in honor of Pamela’s swift and efficient termination, Teams Apex and Mosaic regroup at Trump Model Management, home to some of the world’s most beautiful women…if The Donald does say so, himself. The teams’ task is to create a women’s fashion line to parade in front of industry movers and shakers. As usual, whichever team makes the most money wins.

I really miss the good old days of Survivor, when Doritos were the chip of choice, castaways were Dewing it with Mountain Dew and Visa was everywhere you didn’t want to be. Sure, the product placement got a little over the top, but it’s better than what we have now. Pringles? No-label beer? You can’t tell me Rob Burnett couldn’t find a beer sponsor for the #1 show in America.

Nevertheless, this week our teams dropped their buffs and mixed it up. That will make last week’s Survivor letter-writer a very happy boy. The bowhead alliance was split up and misfits Rory and Bubba were shifted to Team Yasur (I keep wanting to add “n’Dour” to the end of that) and Julie & loveable Twila went to Lopevi. BaristAmi rolled out the welcome mat for Rory & Bubba by refusing to play nice or show them any of the DahSkills they’d acquired. Boys are bad, bad, bad!

Oh Jon…say it isn’t so. I notice you conveniently avoided making a choice until I had bought your book, you dastardly devil. I asked so nicely that you abstain but…well, what do you do.

Comedian Jon Stewart, whose nightly cable television show is popular with the young voters considered key in the upcoming presidential election, said on Thursday he prefers Democrat John Kerry over Republican President Bush.

“It looks like Kerry,” said Stewart, host of “The Daily Show,” a satirical late-night review of politics on Viacom Inc.-owned cable channel Comedy Central. “I would be stunned if something happened to change my mind.”

The debates are over and we’re in the home stretch to Election Day. I’ve mentioned this to a couple of people, but the weeks leading up to Election Day are similar to the holiday push between Thanksgiving and Christmas for me. It is all very exciting and full of both good and bad stress…people get on each others nerves, then a couple of weeks beforehand you just wish it would be OVER, already. I’ve had enough fun. I’ve seen too many political shopping commercials and I really don’t care anymore if Pete Sessions Nordstrom approved this ad. Although, I admit it would have been nice to see a John Kerry or George Bush television ad, since we don’t see a single, solitary presidential campaign commercial here in the Lone Star State.

I’ve known which candidate would get my vote the entire time, and didn’t fall into the undecided demographic the debates were apparently aimed towards, but did the debates change anyone’s opinion on one candidate or the other? All three debates sounded exactly the same to me…I even heard key phrases repeated again and again and again. Kerry’s Tony Soprano joke? Booooooooooo.

I am most definitely curious to see if the people of Arlington want the new Dallas Cowboys stadium in their city, though. These folks obviously don’t.

Anyone else ready for November 2 so we can elect our President and finally get to the season premiere of The O.C.? {wink}

I just realized every post title today has the word “snark” in it…guess I’m just in one of those moods. {wink} Thanks to All Things Jennifer for the inspiration…everything you never wanted to know about me.

Firsts
First job: Burger King, but it was only for a day so I don’t really count it. After that, I worked for my mom’s company after graduating high school.
First screen name: I think it was UCSBgirl71 or something mid-20s cutesy like that.
First funeral: My father-in-law, last summer.
First pet: That I remember…a little dachsund named Lucky, when I was about 5. Evil little guy…dug everything up. Parents gave him away. Not so lucky.
First piercing: LOL…just my ears. First set at…gosh I don’t remember, but I had Hello Kitty earrings so I couldn’t have been that old…10 or 11? The 2nd set was my senior year of high school.
First tattoo: Ummm…no.
First credit card: Ah yes…the AT&T Universal MasterCard. Bastards.
First kiss: Eric M. my freshman year of high school.
First enemy: Andrea M. (no relation…ha ha) ~ 4th through 6th grades. She and her little posse of Mean Girls had a swell time torturing me, the Dorky Smart Girl. Grrrr.

Lasts
Last car ride: Half an hour ago…when I went out to get Seattle’s Best Coffee.
Last kiss: This morning, when the UberHusband went to work.
Last movie watched: Oh geez…I can’t remember. How sad is that?
Last beverage drank: Nonfat vanilla latte…still drinking it.
Last food consumed: Turkey & ham sandwich.
Last phone call: The UberHusband, returning a voicemail of mine.
Last time showered: This morning.
Last CD played: The soundtrack from Chicago
Last website visited: CNN

Nows
Single or taken: Taken. Legally.
Gender: Female
Birthday: November 18
Sign: Scorpio…and all that implies
Hair color: Medium brown
Eye color: Grey
Shoe size: 8 1/2
Height: 5′ 4″
Wearing: Jeans & a pink sweatshirt with brown penny loafers
Thinking about: Why my schnauzer is giving me Big Sad Eyes.
Listening to: The Pugs & Kelly Show on Live 105.3

Well, you have to give them points for ingenuity.

Clinic Gives Chicken Soup in Lieu of Flu Shots
Thursday, October 14, 2004

FERGUS FALLS, Minn. — People who went to a Fergus Falls clinic to get a flu shot didn’t receive the vaccine they wanted. Instead, they received an old-fashioned remedy for warding off the flu.

The 20-some people who went to the flu shot clinic at Affinity Plus Federal Credit Union were sent home with a can of chicken soup and a pack of tissues.

Nick Mariotti, the branch supervisor, said the idea started out as a joke when he and his staff learned they had to cancel last Friday’s clinic because of the nationwide shortage of flu vaccines.

Mariotti decided to buy a case of Campbell’s chicken noodle soup and a bunch of tissues. He said the workers “kept them at the front desk, so when people walked in for the flu shot clinic, we could break the news lightly.”

When the vaccine seekers turned to leave without their flu shot, Mariotti pointed to the soup and said: “Maybe this will help.”

Most left with smiles on their faces, he said.

Article courtesy of Fox News.

Scrubs is, by far, the most underappreciated show on television. Arrested Development used to be Most Underappreciated in my book, but since it now has an Emmy to up its clout, I don’t think I really need to sing its praises quite so much.

Last night’s episode centered around the death of JD’s father (I had forgotten John Ritter played his dad last season), and how JD and his brother Dan (love the hair, Ed) cope with the loss. Dan takes a less standard approach by drowning his sorrows in a multi-week bubble bath with several cases of beer. Eww. Thanks to Dr. Cox (and his Biannual Nice Guy Gesture), both brothers eventually learn that in order to get through their grief, they’ll have to do it together…not apart. Aww.

We also witnessed the gut-check of Turk, who learned he has type-2 diabetes and was struggling with fear that Carla wouldn’t think he was her superman anymore. Oh Turk, the surgeon doth protest too much! Carla knew what was up (and Turk knew she knew…and so on), but let her husband tell her in his time and when he did, she pulled out a box full of sugar-free recipes. That’s love.

How much fun was it to peek in on the Janitor screwing with Dr. Kelso’s brain by, courtesy of an allegedly not-Dr. Kelso-approved crane, misplacing people, objects and vehicles at inopportune times and making the poor guy think he had Alzheimer’s…just so he’d relent and admit that maybe he did approve the crane?

What was up with Chuck Woolery & the Love Connection sub-sub-sub-subplotline? PsychiatristBlonde-on-NurseBrunette action in JD’s vision of Turk’s mind? Hilarious.

How a show that by definition, was dealing with generally unfunny subjects (Alzheimers, diabetes, death), could make me laugh for a solid 25 minutes without feeling guilty or otherwise inappropriate…well, that impresses me and endears me to the show ever that much more. What was upsetting though…and kind of comical in retrospect, was that I’ve lost my voice (lucky UberHusband) and couldn’t actually laugh…so I had to bang my hand on the couch pillow in guffawed appreciation.

The third and final presidential debate will be held tonight in Tempe, AZ. Its anticipated that, like the previous two debates, the political wrangling will be very heated. At least its a dry heat.

Mary Kay LeTourneau and her kiddie boytoy will be walking down the aisle. Another step backward for the sanctity of marriage. At least I have someone to give my Foods of the World cookbooks to now.

Jim Carrey becomes an American citizen. Quit worrying about Al Queda…I think the biggest threat to the American way of life is the Canadian funnyman. They keep sneaking in…and we keep looking away. Vigilance people, vigilance!

Three men who say they’re the inspiration for characters in Richard Linklater’s 1993 film “Dazed and Confused” are suing to regain their good names. The movie came out eleven years ago, guys…and you’re just now getting the litigious munchies? Slow, slow, slow. You may want to find a new supplier.

Britney Spears will change her last name to match that of her husband, Kevin Federline. That’s Britney, Mrs. Federline if you’re nasty.

South Park creators Trey Parker & Matt Stone must remove a controversial puppet sex scene from their new film, Team America, to get an R-rating. Good plan, because if they didn’t tone it down, we all might have thought those puppets were really having sex! Vigilance people, vigilance!

After canceling the Last Comic Standing 3 finale, then rescheduling it to Comedy Central of all places this Saturday…NBC flip-flops and reveals the winner.

The confused messages and outright disdain with which NBC handled the Last Comic Standing 3 finale, culminating in NBC actually “spoiling” the results before the finale airs, have led to speculation that the only reason NBC produced a finale at all was that it would have been a breach of its “second window” contract to not provide one. Even in network television, money talks … and the amount of money paid by Comedy Central for the rebroadcast rights was apparently more than the cost of the 30-minute finale.

I just feel sad for Alonzo Bodden. Sure, its great to win but…talk about anti-climactic. When I’m president, we won’t outsource these reality television shows to half-ass production companies. My opponent voted against fiscal and creative integrity 3,445,876 times!

I’m a Seattle’s Best coffee junkie. Up until fairly recently, I had to buy the stuff pre-ground from Tom Thumb or wait for the uberhusband to go to Seattle to get me an authentic bag o’ beans. Or, I had to be lucky enough to go out of town and leave out of one of the DFW Airport gates that was near a Seattle’s Best kiosk. Or, I had to actually go to Seattle.

Not anymore.

A couple of weeks ago we discovered Seattle’s Cafe, a new little coffee shop at the southeast corner of Hedgecox and Custer Roads in Plano…right behind the CVS Pharmacy. Normally I wouldn’t have noticed it (I’m a Walgreens girl), but that one day…out of the corner of my eye I saw the famous Seattle’s Best logo off in the distance…and I had the uberhusband turn the Jeep around to investigate further. Now, its a new cafe and the owner, Omar Diaz, is still working on getting everything in order. Whatever he lacks in slick interior furnishings (like I said, it’s a new place), he more than makes up for in effort. A former Starbucks barista, Omar has the same small business dream many of us do…and he’s the nicest guy, taking care to prepare his coffee drinks with the utmost of care. And the prices, well, you can’t beat them. Better coffee and cheaper than Starbucks.

Even better…the place has a wireless hot spot…and it’s free. My favorite coffee and access to the internet for my laptop. That’s the kind of thing we work-from-homers (d’oh!) dream of. I think I’m in love. As soon as the weather cools down a bit more, I am so there.

If you’re local, go check out Seattle’s Cafe…you won’t be sorry.

Wow, what an unfortunate way to wake up. After getting up 15 minutes ago because I just can’t sleep (damn cough)…I check my email and have a CNN Breaking News Alert that Christopher Reeve died yesterday of heart failure, the complication of a systemic infection.

Most people will tell you their favorite memory of him was as Superman, but my favorite movie of his was Somewhere in Time. I’m a romantic shmuck and the thought of him, a rather towering figure, reduced to a man desperate to be with the woman he loved…well…powerful stuff.

In his public appearances, he was as handsome as ever, his blue eyes bright and his voice clear.

“Hollywood needs to do more,” he said in the March 1996 Oscar awards appearance. “Let’s continue to take risks. Let’s tackle the issues. In many ways our film community can do it better than anyone else. There is no challenge, artistic or otherwise, that we can’t meet.”

What a courageous man. Article excerpt courtesy of The Associated Press via CNN.

Chicago couple takes away $300,000 in Fox’s The Complex: Malibu finale. Chicago couple must pay the Devil $400,000 to retrieve their souls for a net loss of $100,000. Two episodes of Trading Spouses though, and they’ll be even again.

Author J.K. Rowling announces another Harry Potter character will die in her next book. Nobody ever died in Judy Blume books! It won’t be Lindsay Lohan, will it?

Britney & Kevin file their marriage license, then she gives her manager the boot. Kevin…Yoko. Yoko…Kevin.

NBC cancels the finale of Last Comic Standing 3, then changes its mind the next day, but doesn’t disclose when the finale will actually air. Which just goes to show…wait…there was a Last Comic Standing 3?

Martha Stewart enters Alderson Federal Prison Camp. If anyone could provide the sprinkles to decorate Camp Cupcake, it would be her. I still have my lanyards from my time at Camp McCumber back in ‘83. I’m hoping her time at camp is as much fun as mine was. Some advice: get to the showers early because the plugs for the blowdryers and curling irons go fast.

Fox lowers itself to the lowest common denominator with My Big, Fat Obnoxious Boss. Tragically, this show premieres after Boss’s Day. When you care enough to send your fat, obnoxious boss to the very best reality TV show, send them to CBS, not Fox.

Ballbuster Pamela gets the boot on The Apprentice 2. There’s only room for one take-no-prisoners blonde on that show and Pammy, you ain’t it. Oh well, there’s always QVC. And by the way…thanks for pitching those cleaning blocks…I managed to find the same thing at Lowes for about 80% cheaper and you’re right…they work great!

Looking for something new, fun and creative to do as a married couple that doesn’t involve John Gray? Do you like beer? How about the 2004 North American Wife Carrying Championship? Too bad you missed it this year. Technically, the teams don’t have to be married but if you’re just dating, it sort of loses the symbolic irony.

Carrying methods often include the piggy back or firemen’s carry, but teams are encouraged to create their own style. Experienced teams and all winners to date employ the highly-technical Estonian carry, which has the woman upside down with arms wrapped around the man’s waist and her legs draped over his shoulders. This frees the man’s arms for balance and negotiating the obstacles. The team will have a penalty added to their finish time if the “wife” is dropped.

If you prefer your spousal transport competitions to sport more of a continental flair, Lonely Planet provides the scoop on the event in Finland. I can see Fox ripping off this premise and creating a new reality show called Wife Drop.

I was thinking today how I have been letting my true blog love…snarky TV commentary…slide for the last couple weeks. I’ve gotten all caught up in Election Frenzy and, although entertaining & certainly controversial, that’s really not me. I have my opinions and very, very, very rarely do they change, even if people call me stupid (Thanks Mr. Commenter, for your choice words last night!). So to my faithful readers who have strayed because I had as well, I give you the Outwit, Outblog, Outsnark Comeback Tour.

First stop…The Suze Orman Show.

For the last two years, I have been a phaithful Dr. Phil Phranchise Phan. I bought his Life Strategies book even though I’m completely happy with the life I have. I will say though, that I did not buy his Ultimate Weight Loss Challenge book because phrankly, Dr. Atkins helped me lose 35 lbs. two years ago and I’ve kept it off ever since. I’m a believer. I taped the Dr. Phil show every day and my husband and I would watch it when we got home from work. People laughed at me and told me to get a life…after all, CSI was on…why wasn’t I watching that?

This season…well, someone neutered the big dog. Seriously. Dr. Phil has had his share of ups and downs and he’s caught a lot of phlack for dispensing artificial “therapy” on-air. Personally, I cheered every time he told some mom to get her head out of her ass and take back control of the household from her petulant, spoiled child. I danced a jig (love that expression) when he questioned why an obviously miserable married couple got married in the phirst place if they had such disdain for their partner’s basic personality traits while they were still dating. That man is gone, replaced by a phaint whisper of his old self. This season has been philled with lots of viewer-phriendly shows like “Ask Dr. Phil & Robin!” and “The Third Update on the Weight Challenge Participants This Week!”. And what’s up with him trying to “phix” an entire town?