Turns out, it’s not that Ashlee can’t sing…no, no, no…that’s not why she was lip-synching on Saturday Night Live…it’s because she has…oh, it pains me to type this out…acid reflux. I heard a snippet of this story of Fox 4’s Good Day Dallas about an hour ago, and had to investigate further.

If Ashlee Simpson’s stomach was upset Saturday night, imagine how she’s feeling now. The 19-year-old singer was busted for a “Saturday Night Live” lip-synch gone awry. Her manager-father said Monday his daughter used the extra help because acid reflux disease had made her voice hoarse.

“Just like any artist in America, she has a backing track that she pushes so you don’t have to hear her croak through a song on national television,” Joe Simpson told Ryan Seacrest on Los Angeles radio station KIIS-FM. “No one wants to hear that.”

You’re right, Joe! 100% correct, Joe! NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR THAT! Why listen to her croak on national television when we can do it on the radio or…better yet…we can listen to you croak through an interview and do your best to preserve the gravy train that is your two daughters. Quick…rein Ashlee in because Jessica’s getting away!

It just dawned on me…that’s why I didn’t get that multi-trillion dollar record contract when I was 17…that nasty allergy I had to oak trees made my voice hoarse so singing at pep rallies was the best I could do. Damn. I coulda been a contenda!