Holy Korean laundry, Batman…Sun speaks English!

In my weekly Lost quest to decipher the “twist of fate” that found each of our poor castaways at Camp Fuselage (which isn’t tough to do), Sun’s was pretty easy to figure out. Young and in love with Jin, Jin sells his soul to Sun’s devil father so he can marry her. Over the years, the once-romantic man she married grows angry, bitter and comes home covered with blood giving her this cockamamie story about how he “has” to do whatever her father says so they can be together. That’s the thing buddy…you’re never together.

Determined to leave a loveless marriage and get out from under Daddy’s stranglehold (Lord, what does that guy do?), she learns English and has a plan to “disappear” from the airport…the Sydney airport…at 11:15 a.m. She’s just supposed to walk out, get in the waiting car and…disappear. Once everyone thinks she’s dead, she’s free to move about the cabin. But, Sun has a last-minute change of heart when her husband smiles at her in the terminal and shows her a flower…the same one he used to woo her in his poor, scrupulous and drink-passing past…and she decides to stay with him and crash into an island. Awww.

That airport scene was confusing to me for a couple of reasons. First, in the flashback, Sun & Jin’s apartment looked like the same apartment they had in Singapore, but…uh…they were in Sydney? Secondly, the loudspeaker was announcing the final boarding for the Oceanic flight to…Singapore. I thought they were on their way to LA? Maybe LA via Singapore?

I swear, this television show is like one of those books we had to read in high school…The Scarlet Letter or A Separate Peace. You know the symbolism is there…and the obvious symbols are easy but then you start looking at everything as a symbol. That vertical scar over Locke’s right eye…that’s gotta mean something. Maybe it’s sort of pointing up and down…like to Heaven or Hell? The dog is a boy dog…what’s the significance of that? Plenty of bitches on the island already? Sawyer was reading Watership Down in last week’s episode…why, why, WHY? That’s probably just J.J. Abrams screwing with my head but…still. The great thing is that after 45 seconds of The Bachelor, my brain is back to it’s normal, uninvolved self. Way to go, ABC!

What’s frustrating at this point about Jin is that, even stranded on an island he still bears some abnormal allegiance to Sun’s father. Michael happens upon a $20,000 Rolex and puts it on his wrist…why, I don’t know. Time is of little importance so I guess he was just looking for a little bling to brighten up his daily routine of pacing the beach, pestering his kid and sharpening that chip on his shoulder with his ever-present ax. Out of nowhere, Jin tackles Michael and beats the crap out of him before Sayid and Sawyer step in and break up the fight. They take Marshall Shrapnel’s handcuffs and put Jin under house arrest until someone can learn Korean and communicate with them. Wander around the island long enough, and you’ll probably find a Korean-English phrase book. How do you say, “We’re screwed and no one is going to save us so get over yourself, already?” We already know how to say it in French.

But, turns out we don’t need a translator because Sun confesses to Michael via a very clear, “I need to talk to you,” that she speaks English. She explains that Michael’s new bling belonged to Sun’s father and Jin’s a little sensitive about allegiance and loyalty…blah blah blah. Well, if the watch was that important I probably would have had it surgically attached to my wrist. Problem solved.

Michael takes his ax (which he’s been grinding quite efficiently) and hacks the chain on Jin’s cuffs, then yells at him to stay away from him and his kid. Um…buddy, he doesn’t understand you. And by the way…what are you doing destroying the handcuffs? Now you can’t re-use the stupid cuffs when Hurley goes all Lord of the Flies. You know he will.

In other camp news, Locke facilitates Charlie’s rehab efforts with more mumbo-jumbo about the island being magical and if you build it, your guitar will come. We have a Sayid/Jack smackdown battle over whether the campers should relocate to the caves where there’s water, it’s cooler and probably safer or…stay on the beach and get dehydrated and sunburned but, on the .00000000001% chance that someone happens to happen by, they’ll be there ready to yell, “Help!” The show ends with the saps on the beach looking a lot less happy than the folks in the newly incorporated United States of AmeriJack. I also didn’t see Claire the entire episode…she’s 15 months’ pregnant…can someone go check on her?

I’m waiting for the episode where the focus is on the dog and why he got stuck on the island. Imagine…the show opens…a yellow lab eye opens and we see the events that led up to his fateful Oceanic flight. Or, they’ll just show us Walt’s story. That’ll work too.

What do you all think? Is the format still working? Whose story do you really want to know about? Now that we’ve seen Sun’s story, I want to know what the deal is with Jin. Who else am I curious about…Claire. She’s so sweet and cute and charming, she was probably a skanky crack whore in Sydney. I’d hate that but, since everyone is turning out to be completely different than what you’d expect…I’m probably not too far off base.