This is a special edition of Snark Bites, dedicated to the eleven teams of The Amazing Race 6.

Adam & Rebecca are “formerly dating” personal trainers. Most former couples have the tagline of “formerly dating” for a reason. Generally, it’s not because they’re proficient in high-stress situations that test your personal resolve and the strength of your relationship. But, it should be fun to watch them fight and bicker.

Avi & Joe are proud Jewish “high school buddies,” whose most memorable moment was meeting Tom Wopat. Just a good ‘ol boy, never meanin’ no harm.

Don & Mary Jean have been “married 20 years” and met while married to other people. That’s interesting. Hmm. Married folks of the world, lock up your spouses! Just kidding. Grandkids of the world, lock up your grandparents!

Freddy and Kendra are “engaged models”. I’ll be the judge of that. Freddy’s a pilot as well, so you get more runway bang for your buck.

Gus & Hera are a father/daughter team and Gus thinks this experience will show him how good of a job he did as a parent. Oh yeah, the million dollar prize is pretty neat, too.

Hayden & Aaron are shacked-up models/actors who’ve been dating a whole eight months! By the time the show is over, they will have been dating a whole nine and a half months!

Jonathan & Victoria are married entreprenuers who are looking to TAR to “get their relationship back on track after many grueling discussions about starting a family that have taken a toll on their marriage.” Sorry, don’t want to be anywhere near that train wreck. When everyone said to go away on a vacation together to rekindle things…I don’t think this is what they had in mind.

Kris & Jon are in a long-distance relationship and want TAR to show them if they could handle each other 24/7. Good plan, because marriage and being together 24/7 is nothing but 12-hour pit stops, cramped seats on long plane flights and trying to show other couples that you’re better than them. Good luck. If you really want to know what it’s like to be together 24/7, go ask Jonathan and Victoria.

Lena & Kristy are sisters who are looking to TAR to give 26-year old single mom Kristy the chance to do all the things she’s never been able to do. Wow. That’s kind of annoying! I’m 32, kidless and haven’t done 99% of what they’ve done on The Amazing Race. That’s why life hopefully gives you 70 or 80 years. Talk about cutting off your life at a young age and assuming it’s all over.

Lori & Bolo are professional, married wrestlers who are looking forward to leaving their small town to get real jobs see the world. Let’s get ready to rumbllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllle!

Meredith & Maria are best friends. Meredith is “extremely competitive” and “sensitive,” while Maria is “very passive and non-emotional.” Doormat, meet foot. No one is competitive and sensitive. No one.

Based on just how all of the teams strike me, I predict…Gus & Hera will be eliminated first. It’s that whole father/daughter thing. Too much history and expectations and buried feelings and what-not to be successful…especially if you’re using the show as a parenting gauge. I’m lousy at this though, so get your cackling out of the way now when I’m horribly off-base with my predictions.

And no, I will never, ever, ever use the term Philiminated. Never. Ever.