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Here’s the Unofficial Transcript from this morning’s interview with Jonathan Baker and the V-Chip on The Early Show and no, Harry Smith isn’t trying to choke the V-Chip, but it’s amazing how an innocent camera shot can look so incriminating.

Wild About Harry: Victoria Fuller, Jonathan Baker are with us this morning. Good morning!
V-Chip: Hello, good morning!
Jonathan Baker: Hello.
Wild About Harry: First off…{V-Chip giggles}…you watch this show every week, you watch yourself on television. Do you have any way you can explain your behavior {gesturing to Jonathan Baker} because, as we’ve watched this unfold week after week, appalled? Aghast? I mean, my goodness!

V-Chip: Hahahahahahaha.
Jonathan Baker: I’m not happy with what I see on the screen, and I’m not happy with that person. I think I’m a better person than that. I just, you know, I’m a very competitive person and, you know, I’ve apologized to Victoria in private and I see that person up there and I…I really don’t know who that person is. Obviously, there is a component in me that does exist and I had taken a deep look into myself and that person that’s up there and I’ve really tried to make some adjustments so that person never comes out again. (Lobotomy? -Ed.)

Wild About Harry: Victoria…did you ever see this side of him before this race?
V-Chip: Ummmmmmmmm…Jon’s pretty intense, but that intensity that I saw, I mean, when we got to Iceland I was like, omigod, what did I get myself into? He was soooo intense, so competitive and so serious and I think that was our biggest problem is we became so serious about winning that it kind of took over us being, you know, having fun on the race and, I mean, we did have fun on the race but I mean, we just got way too serious. We took ourselves way too serious.

Wild About Harry: It was excruciating to watch. We showed the clip at 7:30 of, uh, running up to the Brandenburg Gate, that’s when you threw your backpack down, Victoria picks up the other backpack and is laboring…is laboring…and you turn around and you shove her {incredulous look on Harry’s face as he makes a shoving motion with his hands}.
V-Chip: Honey…? {turning to Jonathan Baker}

Jonathan Baker: You know, I don’t have any excuses. It was wrong, and I should never have done what I did.
Wild About Harry: Yeah.
Jonathan Baker: Um…ya, you, you know, we both agreed that we were gonna drop the bag at that point, when Victoria picked it up I had no idea that she had picked it up and I was so upset that, uh, she had picked it up and it was just, I was so competitive…so competitive.

Wild About Harry: Uh huh.
Jonathan Baker: It’s like a boxer getting into a ring. I turned off all compassion to everything. You know, I wanted to get to the mat, I wanted to win the million dollars, and you know, I regret every moment {grunting noise from Harry} , you know, what went in, being the villain, {stammering}…and I, I, I…actually went in to do that. It just got away from me.

Wild About Harry: Uh huh. Uh huh. Because…even last night…you’re there in Ethiopia, you’re trying to put mud on the side of the house {Harry makes “put mud on the side of the house” hand gestures}, what happened there? You put your hand in the mud and you cut your hand on something?
V-Chip: No, even Freddy cut himself the same way. There were nails coming out of that, uh, thing and I just, I pierced my finger and I cut it and it was so deep and I was so just in a panic about it because I was in so much pain and at that time, I was pretty broken because we hadn’t slept, eaten…I had to go to the bathroom, there was no water and I was just really, really, really exhausted. I could tell that we were, you know, we were down to the last…it was between Freddy and Kendra and I for the last people at that task and I was just so, like, I was really out of my tree at that point, (Tree? -Ed.) you know, just trying to get through…

Jonathan Baker, interrupting the V-Chip: We are fans of the race, I mean, true, deep-hearted fans of the race and it just…the spirit just got away from us because…
Wild About Harry, interrupting Jonathan Baker: Jonathan, here…the person you love most in the world is clearly in pain…and you can’t even, you know, open the door of your heart to say, “I care about you more than the outcome of this race.”

V-Chip: But, in his defense, what they didn’t show is me going, “No, just keep going, just keep going,” because when Kendra was like, “Oh you gotta help her, you gotta help her” and then I calmed down and was like, okay, I gotta compose myself here, I gotta get through this.
Jonathan Baker: She was telling me to go on the way!
V-Chip: I was like, come on, keep going, just keep going…don’t stop, so in his defense, I did tell him to keep going.

Wild About Harry: As you watch this unfold and then subsequently, watch these episodes, what have the conversations been like at home between the two of you?
V-Chip: First I called him a mean, nasty bastard Well, we kind of rehash a lot of what’s going on, like oh you did this or, you did that or naturally, we’re like, we try to go over our follies of where we went wrong and you know, the banter back and forth of what, how, you know…we both have two different stories on what we feel happened, even now.
Wild About Harry: Is there peace in your relationship now?

V-Chip: Oh yeah…yes. You know, I mean, It’s a race, we’ve been together eight years, we really love each other. It’s definitely brought us closer and we’ve learned a lot about ourselves, even as a couple. You know, you see yourself as how you don’t want to be and that’s an incredible learning experience for anybody, to see themselves in the worst light possible.
Jonathan Baker: And…and…and…we both, including myself, we both want to be better people. We want to be a better couple and go out there and you know, really work on that…that…that…that’s the message out there.

V-Chip: Believe it or not, there were many moments when we had a good time.
Jonathan Baker: And they didn’t show it…{abrupt cut to commercial}

Post-game review by the UberHusband:

So, what you’re telling me is that your eedy-beedy wittle bwain was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo set on the end goal that you couldn’t, even with the help of every team at each pitstop, understand that you were bordering on psychotic and pathological wife abuse everyday. Your superior self esteem never stepped in and helped you determine that winning the game wasn’t quite as important as your drive to make sure everyone knows how competitive you are.

That’s nice, and I’m sure everyone will be knocking your door down to provide motivational speaking engagements. You can also have a long career as the “before” picture in anger management seminars.