Survivor Rule #3,421,903: Never, ever, ever wear teeny tiny underwear once you depart on your Survivor journey. Never. Ever. This means you, Angie. Demi-cup bras and string bikinis do not serve you well and I’m sure last night wasn’t the only night we’ll have to see blurry spots over your boobs.
Survivor Rule #6,325: Don’t hook up with a fellow castaway. Bahston Rob and Ambuh of The Smokin’ Ass were the exception, not the rule. Furthermore, if you choose to “become more intimate” with one female castaway than any of the others, don’t pick the one who will go to Tribal Council and say with a doe-eyed expression that it never occurred to her until that very moment that a romantic relationship might alienate her from the other tribemates. Just a tip from Auntie Snarky.
