snarkwifedotcom

So I read this inane article in the Dallas Morning News about the Plano school district removing swings from its playgrounds due to their inherent “danger,” and also saw it over at Lady Mac’s.

Articles such as this run rampant in the Dallas/Fort Worth area…take all of the swings away from the playground, but only get slightly upset that your son’s entire high school football team is on steroids and pity the poor schoolteachers (rather than be infuriated with them) who help their students cheat on the state’s standardized tests.

Hmm…which of the three, overall, is the least dangerous?

Now see, it’s getting bunged up as a child that kept me from coming unglued and suing my homeowner’s association, the City of Allen, the County of Collin and probably the cement manufacturer when I tripped and splattered across my neighborhood’s sidewalk a week ago.

Instead…because I have the benefit of experience and COMMON SENSE, I came home and told myself to be more careful next time. Novel idea, eh?

I cut my index finger with a knife the other day. Should I sue Wusthof?

Cripes. I mean come on…after all, isn’t this why they sell Barbie and SpongeBob SquarePants band-aids? Or are those just for your way-advanced-for-her-years 9-year-old daughter when she cuts herself shaving her legs?

Get ready Gillette…you’re next.