Dear Snarky -
I’ve found myself in a situation and I’m not quite sure what to do. You see, my best friend, we’ll call her Lionelita, is getting married and all of the changes in our lives are started to drive a wedge in our friendship.
We both come from well-to-do families, and have had our share of fun over the years. We’ve gone to parties, shared secrets over bottles of Cristal and have helped each other through sex tape scandals. You know…typical girl stuff.
For most young women, they just fantasize about dating one of the Backstreet Boys or someone from ‘Nsync, but that was a reality, at least for me…and my friend Lionelita has been my rock during all of the ups and downs. We even filmed a television show together and as anyone can tell you, it’s not all Courteney & Jennifer all the time. Plus, the most recent season was sort of a letdown professionally.
Now though, she’s drifting away. It’s almost as though she’s too good for me and the fun we used to share and all of our old friends. I hate to just write off the friendship, as my dog Binkertell would really miss the companionship.
Should I confront her? I don’t want to upset her, but I really feel as though she’s disrespecting our friendship by just casually tossing me aside for something as bourgeois as marriage.
Sincerely,
Rome Hyatt
Dear Rome…if that’s your real name,
Ah…like sand through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives. Snarky empathizes with your situation, as most of her close girlfriends also had the utter audacity to up and marry right when they were all in the glorious, irresponsible late morning of their lives!
However, you can’t undo things that have already been done. Sure, you can wax poetic about the bliss of yesteryear but what is, is. Your friend is getting married and Snarky thinks that you two were probably drifting apart before the engagement was announced.
This happens. Snarky has friends from high school and college that she still keeps in pretty good touch with, but mostly, they’ve drifted apart. People go in different directions and Snarky has always thought, much like with romantic relationships, if it is meant to be, it will be. Of course, the friendship will change over time but if everyone is accepting of that and looks at it as a positive growth experience, you’ll be okay.
If you sit around and do nothing but berate the person who has moved on, maybe you need to take a good, hard look at your life and wonder why you’re so hell-bent on keeping things the way they’ve always been…or worse yet, being entirely too nostalgic for a period that has come and gone, whether you like it or not.
It’s perfectly natural to mourn the loss or change of a lifelong friendship. Now, buck up…get a pedicure and have a cocktail. You’re still fabulous.
Sincerely,
Snarky
