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Last night’s episode of The O.C. exhibited the number one reason chicks shouldn’t date each other. Because…they’re chicks. And…they behave in a mightily chick fashion.

Alex jumps to all sorts of inaccurate conclusions, throws a beer bottle at Ryan’s head, tells him to “stay away from MY GIRLFRIEND,” then arrives at the Harbor Trojan Horse Bonfire (“Would have been better for them to do a model of a Trojan” -UberHusband) to embarrass Marissa and have her two gang-banger buddies intimidate and threaten Chino Boy. Ha. Did they not watch this show last season? You can put the PF Chang’s in Chino, but you can’t take the Chino out of the boy.

My favorite scene though, was when Marissa introduced everyone at the bonfire to Ryan…like they don’t know who he is. He ruined Cotillion, got into a fight with Luke at THE biggest beach house party of the year and dated the Most Popular Girl In School for awhile. Did they not go to this school last year? Maybe they’re all new transfer students…you know, like Lindsay.

And, Julie…you were totally off the mark with trying to coax Marissa home via threatening to take away her credit cards. Is that all you’ve got? She’ll get a job? Ha. Why didn’t you just tell her that she’d better start learning the bus schedules because tuition payments to the Harbor School were being stopped ASAP? I guarantee Miss Mariss would have gone back to the lair because…shudder…who wants to go to…hang on…I’m having a tough time forming the words…public school?

I take what I said earlier back…my favorite scene was the full thirty seconds of silence as Sanford Cohen (”Nobody calls me that but Caleb”) mentally digested the concept of Julie Cooper in The Porn Identity. And Kiki…shame on you for ever so slightly trying to get Sanford to tell you about his latest juicy Newport case. I saw that look in your eyes. You wanted him to spill. Bad girl.

And, I’m having a tough time with how retro this show is going. Over the course of the last few weeks I’ve had to endure Boyz 2 Men, Oasis, Cole Trickle, The Scorpions, Husker Du and…Tin Cup. What? Kirsten wasn’t paying homage to Rene Russo ?