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When I was in college, my boyfriend went to Europe with two of his friends for three months over the summer. This was back before email and instant messaging, and also when international long distance rates were something insane like $3.00 a minute. So, it was a really long three months.

To pass the time, I read…a lot. Unfortunately, what I read were Danielle Steel novels where the protagonist’s man always seemed to go overseas for one reason or another…and never came back, for one reason or another. In one of the books, the woman’s fiance died on the Titanic.

Three months of that will turn any rational young woman into a paranoid freak. It’s kind of the same thing that happened when we all had a dog die during our childhood…for some insane reason, the only movie on immediately afterward was either Where The Red Fern Grows or Old Yeller.

Understanding that my psyche has a tendency to be swept away, I have composed a Watchable Military Media Guide For The Next Eighteen Months:

Good Watchable Media:
1. Private Benjamin
2. Stripes
3. In The Army Now
4. An Officer and A Gentleman

5. North and South (Books 1 and 2)
6. Three Kings (don’t make me give up George)
7. Top Gun
8. A Few Good Men
9. Renaissance Man

10. Gomer Pyle reruns

Bad Watchable Media:
1. Pearl Harbor
2. We Were Soldiers
3. Legends Of The Fall
4. The entire third season of American Dreams

5. That episode of ER when Gallant comes back from Iraq and hooks up with Neela
6. Born On The Fourth Of July
7. From Here To Eternity
8. Black Hawk Down
9. The Deer Hunter

10. G.I. Jane (only because it was an awful movie in general…you shouldn’t watch it, either)