So I was reading this morning’s Dallas Morning News and came across yet another article on that ban on “sexually suggestive” cheerleading moves. Most of the content was of the been-there, read-that variety, but what stuck out most at me was this comment:

Sexual moves already are policed in the sport because highly regulated competitions ban them, and teams that don’t comply lose points or get disqualified, said Brad Habermel, co-owner of Cheer Athletics.

“You are given a huge penalty if you have moves that are inappropriate for family viewing or are vulgar,” he said. “I don’t see the problem he’s seeing. They are all doing dance moves that kids have been doing for 15 years.”

So what Brad is saying…is that I missed the cheerleading sexual revolution by one freaking year? Had I been born in 1970 instead of 1971 or, had I not skipped the third grade, I too could have taken part in something even more titilating that dancing to “I Want Your Sex” during school dances?

But noooooo, because I was a cheerleader my 1988-1989 senior year, I missed out on all the debauchery. Damn.

Now that I think about it though…we did do a halftime dance routine to Pebbles’s “Mercedes Boy,” which, if you think about it, was kind of a racy song…for 1988.

Sorta.