My housekeeper and the company’s office manager gave me a very nice card today, thanking me for my business and telling me that if I needed anything during Capt. UberHusband’s deployment, to give them a call…they have tons of contacts who apparently can do everything from weed my flower beds to raze my house.

It was a very kind and considerate gesture…I’m so accustomed to people being assholes (except for you fine folk, my family, a few close friends and my housekeeper), that it’s tough for me to accept graciousness. But, I think I did it without looking like too much of a heel. I’m learning.

Anyway, they also gave me a beautifully wrapped gift…I opened it up and…it’s cookies. Chocolate chip cookies. I haven’t had cookies in the house in months.

Now, they’re just sitting there, calling my name. Listen. Do you hear them? It’s a little muffled through the plastic wrap…”Snarrrrrrrrrrrrrrky…you know you want to sit down and eat all of us in one shot. You know you want it.”

Damn cookies.