So, I’ve been taking Ambien for about a week now. There were a couple of days when I didn’t take it and I went back to my standard fall-asleep-quickly-wake-up-three-times nighttime routine but for the most part, I’ve been experimenting to see what Ambien could do for me.

To my knowledge, I did not make whorish advances on my husband (apparently, that’s a side effect - sorry, CU), nor did I raid the refrigerator or send late-night “F*&$ YOU” emails to Marketing Weenie. After trolling a few message boards, apparently this is what can happen if you don’t take your Ambien within seconds of hitting the pillow and instead choose to wander around for a bit.

Then again, I’m not looking for any designer drug benefits (”A is the new X!”). I’m just a woman who can’t sleep through the night, hasn’t slept through the night in years and just wants to wake up refreshed and a little more equipped to handle the stress that adult life throws at you.

So last night, I took my Ambien and crashed into my hypnotic stupor. This morning, the alarm went off and I got up and made coffee…then I sat down on the couch and…I guess…fell back asleep. When I woke up, it was about 7:15 and CU had already left for work. Uhhhhh…okay. I called him a little awhile ago and asked him who took the dogs out when we got up. He said he did. Uhhhhh…okay.

Now here I am, two hours later, really wishing I could just go crawl back into bed and finish up with the apparently 15 hours of sleep I now feel I need. This is not good.

Of course, my doctor can’t just listen to me tell her this on the phone, I have to go back in so I can sit in the exam room for 30 minutes past my appointment time so she can charge my insurance company $80 to listen to me.

CU took Ambien a few times to help with jet lag when flying to and from Iraq and he loved the stuff - come to find out he took half the dosage I’m taking. Hmm.

So, I’m cutting my pill in half tonight and then going to see the doctor tomorrow. I really want to sleep…but I want to do it at night. And, I don’t want to complain about it in the morning. If I was peachy-keen with the complaining, I’d just ditch all the drugs and go back to business as usual.

Yawwwwwwwwwwwwwn.