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Office holiday parties are really, really strange. I have fond memories of my office party deflowering, when I was in college. One of my co-workers hit on the president of the company, then threw up all over the dance floor. Ah, good times. I suspect this is why they didn’t invite the temps the next year.

Over the years, I learned that “cocktail attire” means different things to different people at an office party. When I worked in California, we had people show up in Wranglers and plaid shirts, complaining they shouldn’t be expected to buy “fancy clothes” because they didn’t make enough money. Another year, one of the administrative assistants showed up dressed like a Love Boat spokesmodel.

You know that general piece of advice about how you shouldn’t get totally drunk at the holiday party? I had managers and directors who didn’t get that memo.

I say all this because this weekend, CU and I are off to Florida to celebrate the holidays with other folks from my company, most of whom (a) I don’t know and (b) I don’t work with. The good news is I’ll get to meet one specific co-worker, with whom I’ve worked nearly three years but have yet to meet face-to-face. Now that I think about it, I have no idea what he even looks like.
The not-so-good news is we’re a terribly fractured company right now, and this party is making some folks very, very nervous. It’s sort of like being Nicole Ritchie, going to a party where Paris Hilton will be. You’re sure things will be fine, but you and everyone else is probably just waiting for some sort of “scene.”

Being a glass-half-empty kind of gal, I am just hoping two people in particular don’t break into a fistfight. No, I’m not one of them…I’m actually very good at office parties…seems to be the only time I can quasi-effectively play the politics game.

Did I mention there was going to be karaoke this Saturday night, as well? I suspect the intent behind that is if we get a couple of glasses of wine in us, we’ll all break out into a rousing rendition of “We Are Family” and hug and sway back and forth like they do on American Idol when someone is kicked off.

I guess it’s better than breaking out into groups and trying to build an airplane out of Tinkertoys or some other trite teambuilding activity, though. My cliquey little group of co-workers is trying to decide if we want to show up in matching aloha shirts or togas, and which non-English language we should speak all night. It’s amazing what you can organize through instant messenger.