It’s like a holiday Mad Lib…

‘Twas the night before Sunday, and all through the hotel,
I thought, “I don’t want to go to this party…it’s gonna be hell.”
The open bar was stocked with the finest of liquors,
In hopes that would result in plenty of snickers.

The employees were nestled all snug at each table,
While I wondered to myself, what was showing tonight on cable.
And CU in his slacks, and I in my silk sweater,
Had just settled down, to take in the show much better.

When out on the dance floor there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my chair to see what was the matter.
Away to my camera I flew, activating the flash,
Hit the Power button and zoomed, oh this photo would garner some cash!

The beam of the strobe light, the thump of the bass,
Gave way to a scene exhibiting shockingly little grace.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a Dunder-Mifflin sandwich…co-workers grinding, peer-on-peer!

With a little Justin Timberlake, they were so lively and quick,
My co-worker and I looked at each other, and said, “What is up with that chick?”
More rapid than eagles, with seemingly no shame,
We whistled and shouted, and called them by name:

“Now Texas! Now Florida! Now Pennsylvania and Illinois!
On Connecticut! On Virginia! Office party scandal, oy!”

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, she was mounted to that guy.
So up to the open bar the coursers they flew,
With the kamikaze shot, and St Nicholas too.

And then, in a twinkling, I saw on the floor
The prancing and pawing of each little…ahem.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Up flew her skirt, with a gleeful little sound.

She was dressed in all rayon, from her head to her foot,
And her image was all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of boys she had flung on her back,
And she looked like a peddler, just opening her pack.

Her eyes-how they twinkled! Her dimples how merry!
Her cheeks were like roses, the scene, very scary.
Her droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
The scene was as chilling as the winter’s first snow.

The stump of a straw she held tight in her teeth,
But we were transfixed, by her skirt…and what was underneath.
She had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook when she laughed, like a bowlful of jelly!

She was chubby and plump, quite jolly herself,
And I laughed when I saw her, in spite of myself!
A wink of her eye and a twist of her head,
Soon gave me to know I had everything to dread.

She spoke not a word, but spun to her left and her right,
She tore her silk stockings, still twisting with might.
And laying her finger aside her chin, so cleft,
And giving a nod, out the door she left!

She sprang to the hall, to her team gave a whistle,
And away they all staggered, like the down of a thistle.
But I heard her exclaim, the night’s events she tried to erase,
“Happy Christmas to all, please don’t put me on MySpace!”