After I finished my last post, I decided to take a break and take Miss Daisy out for a walk. Seems like I can’t take that poor dog for a walk without some sort of disaster happening…no wonder she gets all excited when I pull out the leash, then turns into psycho dog once she actually figures out what we’re doing.

Long-time readers will remember what happened back in February of ‘05…I tripped, fell…and Daisy went running into the street while dumbass drivers honked and whizzed around her. That’ll scar her (and me, literally) for awhile.

There’s a house about a half block away from us…they have this dog…we’ll call her Cujo. She’s always running around the neighborhood, and I’ve called both animal control and our homeowner’s association because her clueless owner just doesn’t get it. A couple of years ago, I was out one evening walking both dogs…and Cujo came after us.

I scooped up both Cookie and Daisy (that was fun)…and then I went and pounded on the owner’s front door. She pooh-pooh’d the whole situation…”Oh, Cujo doesn’t bite.” “Yeah, well, Cookie does.” I believe I also told her to get her act together because I saw her dog running around all the time. I called both animal control and our homeowner’s association that day…don’t know what happened, but at least I felt like I was protecting myself.

So I take her out today - and I walk past this same house. I hear the dogs literally, climbing the windows but…they’re inside so I don’t care how much they’re flipping out.

All of a sudden…out of freaking NOWHERE come Cujo and a big black cocker spaniel running straight at us. I scoop Daisy up as fast as I can and the damn dogs are jumping on us and barking. I successfully extricate myself and Daisy from the dogs (who have quite the vertical leap), go up to the house and POUND on the front door for about ten seconds until someone answers. Yay…it’s Clueless Woman. That’s the great thing about my neighborhood…generally, someone’s at home at every house during the day.

Snarkwife: HEY…YOUR DOGS JUST ATTACKED ME AND MY DOG.
Clueless Woman: I’m on a conference call.

Seriously?

Snarkwife: I don’t give a shit if you’re giving birth, your dogs just attacked us.

She just stands there…kind of looking around…like she’s afraid I’m making a scene.

Snarkwife: You know, I’d like to be able to walk around my neighborhood without the fear of being attacked by your dogs.
Clueless Woman: This has happened before?
Snarkwife: Duh - uh…yeah! And I see that one {pointing at the brown dog} out running around all the time. We’ve spoken before, and I’ve told you this before.
Clueless Woman: Well, I haven’t been here for the last six months.

At that point, I would have liked to have kneeled down and just pounded my head into her front sidewalk. How many people confront her about her dogs…so many that she can’t remember the last time we spoke? I remember every conversation I have on my front sidewalk…and would certainly remember the face of someone my dogs chased down the street. Maybe she got a lobotomy six months ago. Who knows.

Snarkwife {pointing to the end of the street}: That dog - her name is Cujo, right?
Clueless Woman: Uh huh.
Snarkwife: Then we’ve spoken. Get it together…and I’m reporting you to the homeowner’s association and animal control…again. Seems like the three times a year I walk my dogs, I get attacked by your dogs.

And with that, I have to carry Daisy the rest of the way home because Cujo is still wandering the streets. No wonder Daisy we hates going on walks.