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First off, Happy Valentine’s Day…again. Always lead on a positive note.

I saw a segment on some news show a couple of days ago, which praised the asinine invention of this thing called “Anti Valentine’s Day,” where pissed-off single women try to hijack the holiday, because they’re not part of a couple and want everyone to know it, I guess. I believe they interviewed the Valentine’s Day Product Manager at American Greetings for the segment, too. How sweet of a job would that be (no pun intended), the product manager for Valentine’s Day cards? I think I may have just found my next career. Greeting card product manager. Oh yeah.

Having said that, this article was in yesterday’s Dallas Morning News. Clip it out, and be appreciative for what you do have, rather than bitter about what you don’t have. Before I got married, I had proportionately less coupled-up V-Days than single ones, so I speak of which I know. And, after watching some of the women in the segment, no wonder they’re single. They’re mean, nasty, judgmental and think love doesn’t count unless it’s romantic. You kind of wait for Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha to show up and smack some sense into them.

Oh, and I love my husband. I love him in that oogly googly schmoopy “You can ditch me for Iraq and Paris two Valentine’s Days in a row and I still adore you, because eventually you’ll come home and do things like replace the light in our master closet” sort of way. Just so we’re all clear on that.

6 ways to add more love to your life

DAYLE ALLEN SHOCKLEY

In 1967, the Beatles declared, “All you need is love.” That assertion may not be far from the truth.

“When we increase the love and intimacy in our lives, we also increase the health, joy and meaning in our lives,” says Dr. Dean Ornish, founder and director of the nonprofit Preventive Medicine Research Institute in Sausalito, Calif.

His book, Love and Survival: The Scientific Basis for the Healing Power of Intimacy (Collins, $14), is a best-seller. His research has been published in the Journal of the American Medical Association and other medical journals. Dozens of other studies showcase the benefits of loving and being loved.

With Valentine’s Day upon us, what better time to add love to our lives? Here are six suggestions:

1. Add love to your daily routine. No need to wait for Valentine’s Day to get lovey-dovey. Say sweet things to loved ones daily. Hugs and kisses benefit giver and receiver. Take home a flower or a card when there’s no special occasion.

2. Adopt a pet. Though pets saddle us with work and responsibility, benefits outweigh drawbacks. Nursing-home residents who spent 30 minutes a week visiting with a dog had a “significant decrease in loneliness,” according to a 2006 study published in Anthrozoos by Dr. William Banks, professor of geriatrics.

3. Play with your children. A child’s innocence can melt the loneliest of hearts. If you’re feeling loveless, try entering the world of a child and watch how your perspective changes. Children laugh easily, forgive easily and usually are delighted to hold your hand.

4. Rekindle friendships. In 2005, my niece persuaded me to try blogging. I’ve always kept a journal, but I wasn’t keen on posting my thoughts in cyberspace. Before long, however, I’d reconnected with dozens of friends plus made new acquaintances. In December, we held our first potluck get-together, and we hope to make it an annual event. Blogging may sound impersonal, but take it from a skeptic: It’s not. We’ve been there for each other during rocky times and cheered each other on in good times. I look forward to these daily visits with friends. Just knowing they’re there puts a smile on my face.

5. Love for the long-haul.
If your relationship has outlived that heady, romantic feeling, cheer up. Staying for the long haul has its advantages, says Dr. E. Sherwood Brown, associate professor of psychiatry at UT Southwestern Medical Center. “Long-term effects of being in love, as in stable relationships, appear to show a decrease in the body’s stress hormones.”

Though not the same feeling as euphoric new love, seasoned love brings its own rewards. Dallas author Jane Jarrell, who has been married 15 years, calls this stage of love the “comfortable-jean stage.” It’s a “relaxed fit.”

Fran Sandin, a Greenville, Texas, RN and author, has been married 44 years. “The tranquil stage of love is my favorite,” she says. “We’ve learned to laugh about things we used to fuss about. Security in our marriage has also freed us to experience great joy in serving others.”

6. Do something you enjoy. If you don’t have a pastime you’re passionate about, get one. Hobbies enrich our spirit immensely and often give us “self-definition,” author Susan Sheehan says. Whether it’s volunteering at a hospital, painting landscapes or growing tomatoes, people who engage passionately in a pastime live fuller, happier lives.

Dayle Allen Shockley is an author in Houston.