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It’s been a loooooooong time since I did this…

Not Gonna Have Much Of A Clinic With That Amount Of Coin: Tom Sizemore and our own Doctor Model released a movie last year, which grossed an astonishing thirty dollars. And yes, that’s American dollars. It was released in one theater here in Dallas, one showing a day for a week and it grossed…thirty…dollars. Hey, I ate everything in the refrigerator last night. Everything. Including a tub of butter. There’s no judgment here.

I Swear, It’s Like A Bad Episode Of Montel: Prince Frederic von Anhalt, the husband of Zsa Zsa Gabor, has officially filed papers asserting he is the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby. I suppose I should just tell all of you this now…as soon as he gets back from Paris, Capt. UberHusband will also be staking claim as the father of her baby. Nothing you can do really, except wait for him to pop up as the next Fafa head.

Hey, Where’d You Two Come From? Lost executive producers & master torturers Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse promise us that by the time they execute their plan for elaborating on Nikki & Paulo’s stories, they’ll become iconic characters. Who are they again? And more importantly, do we really care anymore?

While I Was Folding Clothes, Watching The Office And Wondering Why The Fur On Daisy’s Paws Has Suddenly Started Turning Auburn…these 24 people were having the best week ever!

Where, Quite Literally, The Streets Have No Name: North Dakota House rejects bill to honor Bono. Even better, Fargo state Rep. Scot Kelsh, who sponsored the measure, got the idea from a magazine. Sure, it was a magazine published by the National Conference of State Legislatures, but why limit yourself? Entertainment Weekly had a great article last week about Rashida Jones, let’s make her the official state paper company employee!