An Australian Outback Hottie For Just $40 A Day: Survivor hottie Colby Donaldson “will be a regularly featured ‘content buddy,’” on The Rachael Ray Show, talking about what men want and answering burning questions like, “Is chivalry dead?” and “Did you and Jerri really not ever hook up?” So much for that acting career.

I Really Need To Keep Up With My Desperate Househaikus: Rosie O’Donnell has lots to say about the current state of Britney’s head and how she wants all the 24-year old girl train wrecks to come live with her. Mmm hmm. Someone needs to tell Rosie that text message speak (write? type?) is not exactly inspirational prose. Oh, and “Brit” has one T, not two.

This Is What I Get For Not Recording Studio 60 Last Night: Looks like it’s probably getting cancelled.

Now, Go Out And Make It A Great Day…With A Couple Of Strippers: XM Radio and Sirius are merging in a deal worth a reported 13 billion dollars. It’s like my dream come true…Dr. Laura and Howard Stern…just a few clicks away from each other on the dial. Oh wait, what’s the term the kids use these days…not dial…digital channel lineup.

The First Step To Recovery Is Admitting You Have A Blackberry: The 12 steps to cure e-mail addiction. Let me add another one…#13 - BEHOOVE PEOPLE TO QUIT SENDING MASS EMAILS TO THEIR “FRIENDS AND FAMILY” ABOUT STUPID THINGS ONLY THEY CARE ABOUT. If you can’t be bothered to send something to me and only me once in awhile, why do you think I’d care about your reaction to some left-wing nutjob’s blog post about…anything?

Today’s award for “Most Groan-worthy Cliches In Two Paragraphs” goes to this story:

PACIFIC, Mo. - It’s not the traditional “till death do us part,” but Scott Amsler and Miranda Patterson believe getting hitched in a graveyard is just thinking outside the box.

Come September, the Illinois couple expects to pledge their undying love among the dearly departed in this St. Louis suburb’s city cemetery, even though those who approved the request are dead set against seeing it become a trend.