News Flash! Gen Y-ers Are Self-Absorbed: Yeah, and those Boomers though we were bad. I must not be that special, because I had no idea “Frère Jacques” meant “I am special.”

Having Said That, Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader? If they all know the words to “Frère Jacques”, then the answer would be “No.”

Speaking Of Being Smarter Than A Fifth Grader: Howie K. and Larry decide to negotiate their personal settlement the civilized, gentlemanly way…in the full media spotlight. Probably more effective than Rock, Paper, Scissors, I guess.

Hey…Now That You Mention Rock, Paper, Scissors: That’s probably all I’ll have in my retirement…Dow industrials plunge more than 500 today.

And Finally, Proof Of What We Already Knew: It Seems Only The Idiots Of The World Win The Lottery:

Ed O’Neill’s bank account just got a lot bigger, thanks to a co-worker who told him some “idiot” hasn’t claimed an $800,000 Powerball lottery prize.

O’Neill, 58, who works for the Clinton Chamber of Commerce, bought the ticket for a January 6 Powerball drawing. He told Iowa Lottery staffers he didn’t think to check the results until a couple days afterward, when a chamber receptionist pointed out an article in the local newspaper.

“She said, ‘Read this article about the idiot that hasn’t claimed his ticket.’ So I read it and noticed where the ticket was bought,” O’Neill said. “I thought, ‘Gee, I better look at my ticket.’ That’s when I said, ‘I think I won.”‘