So…you all enjoying how it’s still pitch-black outside at 7:30 this morning?

When I was watching Rahb & Ambuh struggle through the Detour last night on The Amazing Race, I was reminded of that episode of The Simpsons when Milhouse gives Lisa that valentine…the “I Choo-Choo-Choose You” episode.

Lisa publicly humiliates and rejects Milhouse at a televised Krusty Krustacular Special, and while watching the recorded event later, Bart says, “Look Lisa. You can pinpoint the exact moment Milhouse’s heart rips in two.”

That moment for me last night, was when The Amazing Producers cleverly edited in, “I hope we didn’t misspell anything,” all the while repeatedly cutting back to the one directional board which read “Phillipeans” instead of “Philippines,” while they try to rearrange all of the destinations on the pole like a frantic episode of The Price is Right because it never occurs to them to check the spelling.

Yeah.

While the entire field of teams flip-flopped from how they arrived at the Pit Stop last week, we were also treated to the reintroduction of Mirna’s whistle, which has become Team Jellystone’s third teammate, effectively replacing Rebecca’s Burberry visor as my new favorite Amazing Accessory. Not only can it hail cabs, but it can also irritate the bejeezers out of neighboring teams and beckon local dogs!

While we’re talking about Yogi and Boo Boo…their “exchange of friendly team banter” while Mirna was yelling at Charla for, I don’t know, being too short and too weak and too slow and for the love of God Charla, do I have to bail you out of everything all the time, prompted this week’s Amazing Quote…spoken for the first time by someone other than a TAR team:

“I think all of the teams should also get a loaded gun with one bullet. If you feel the need during the race, you can take out your teammate.” - Capt. UberHusband

Some other quoteworthy Mirnaisms…”I’m a lawyer, so I can tell when people are lying” and…”Charla obviously wants to contribute, but I do more than any one single person has probably ever had to do on the Race to compensate for any shortcomings that we have.” Hey Mirna…if I recall, it was Charla who hauled the side of beef and it was also Charla who hauled the pole (which was roughly 8x her height) up that neverending set of steps…so, shut it, bellissima.

We also had some ancillary bitching and moaning from Team Guido (why are they called that?) and some rather interesting letters to our teams from their former race-mates at the End of the World Post Office. They ranged from supportive (aw Blake and Paige, we loved you guys!) to snotty…a ‘la “We hope you both fall off the end of the world and die. Hugs and smooches, Susan & Patrick”

In a hand-clapping moment, Danny and Oswald arrive at the Pit Stop first and win a trip to Maui. When they ask Phil if he can come too, Phil quips, “Ah…that’s a whole different reality show.” Good-natured laughing all around.

No one really noticed the order in which everyone else arrived, because it was all Rahb & Ambuh and Jellystone up until the end. As they’re “racing” for next-to-last place, I was trying to decide…if I had to pick one of those teams to go home, which one it would be. I love watching Rahb & Ambuh race because really, they’re very good and even when they fight it’s very endearing…but Yogi & Boo Boo provide many more quotable moments and I’d love to watch the other teams beat up on them for as long as Mirnally possible.

Next week, without Bahston Rahb & Ambuh of the Smokin’ Ass around to call liars and opportunists, the freaks turn on each other, Iandiana Jones makes a valiant attempt at being funny…and the Amazing Whistle fantasizes about taking out Mirna with that one bullet.

As an epilogue…anyone else have an issue with the term “The Amazing Race Elimination Station”? Couldn’t they just have called it, “The Amazing Race Port-a-Post?