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I decided to wait until noon-ish to talk about The Amazing Race, to give Joyce and Uchenna a chance to catch up to the rest of the world.

Lordy…how ugly was that? Last night’s episode started out innocently enough…leave Krakow, go to Kuala Lumpur. Seems easy enough, right? Wrong. CU and I got into a mildly heated discussion about when you should take a very big risk, and when you shouldn’t. He tends to lean towards risk…I on the other hand, am incredibly risk-averse.

For example, if I am in a race to win a million dollars…and I have fifteen minutes of wiggle room…I’m the one who will shake her head and say, “I dunno…what if we miss our connecting flight? What if we hit the jet stream and are taken 500 miles off course and come in 35 minutes late? What if the captain goes all wiggy, starts cursing at us, and our flight is cancelled? Then, we’ll show up 12 hours late and bloggers everywhere will make fun of us.”

But Joyce and Uchenna…they soldier on, like the good previous winners they are. While everyone connects through their gateways successfully, Joyce and Uchenna’s flight into Frankfurt is late and…they miss the plane. Despite using the Chicken Little-y “Our life depends on it!” card with some telephone reservations agent (who I’m sure says, “Me chenna? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”), they can’t get out until the next day. THE NEXT DAY.

While Uchenna and Joyce enjoy Frankfurt’s finer airport retail and dining establishments, the other teams endure a peculiar Detour involving either duplicating a pattern (15, not 16!) onto a piece of cloth and then dyeing it…or biting into 600 cookies until you make such a huge mess the locals start chanting your name (”CharLA! CharLA! CharLA!). This one seemed like such a no-brainer, given the sausage feast of last week…but people still go for it…including Mirna and Charla, who once again, bail out on their original Detour challenge and go for “the other one.” Who knows, maybe they’re into experiencing all the race has to offer, rather than backtracking after making an initial poor task decision.

Strategically, as you would expect…KandiDust takes their Yield opportunity to slow down Eric and Danielle, which I can see is completely not personal. Eric though, takes everything personally and proceeds to make fun of our beauty queens, not realizing…I guess…that his teammate’s boobs have doubled in size since last week’s episode. What is Danielle doing, lactating?

“Arriving in Taman Sri Hartamas in first place, Dustin & Kandice found a Roadblock. In this Roadblock, one Team member had to give a nod to Malaysia’s eco-friendly practice of recycling.” Really? I saw very little recycling until the Cute Blonde started pedaling around the neighborhood…prior to that, what I saw was a lot of hoarding. The good thing about this task was it reminded me Team Snark needed to take out the recycling last night, too. Hat-tip to the Amazing Producers.

I still can’t decide who I felt worse for during the Roadblock…Danny or Danielle. Danielle didn’t really seem to have the constitution for the task, and the Other Blonde already raided all the area homes, but then in a comic twist, her tire busts a leak! She winds up needing to make two trips, because the 25 pieces of paper she managed to scrape off the road didn’t constitute “eight heads”.

To add insult to injury, Danielle then actually tries to pedal her broken bike while local youth help to push, thinking somehow she will take them to the almighty Charla & Mirna, the patron saints of career advice…who are standing by the roadside counting off to the “future Charlas and Mirnas of the world” how they too, can achieve the glamorous life which eludes them because they’re stuck in the financial and technological capital of the world and not in, say, Maryland.

Meanwhile…Good Gay is bickering because Oswald is trying to support Danny…but Danny’s tired and cranky and aging by the minute, so he finally says “Screw it” and buys the rest of the newspapers he needs. Smart guy, but he bought too much! Hey…did you see that pink car? (“I love Malaysia.” -Capt. UberHusband)

Meanwhile, Joyce and Uchenna…I assume…since we haven’t seen them in 25 minutes…are still sitting in Frankfurt watching CNN International on the monitor in their gate waiting area.

Thankfully, KandiDust arrives to the mat first, and they win…scooters. Again, glad Charla and Mirna weren’t the first team to arrive. As a side note, I didn’t have much to say about Yogi & Boo Boo this week, because other than cornering unsuspecting Malaysian youth, they didn’t give me much to go on. And, Mirna showed she does have a tender side. After they hogged the computers to check flights and Eric decided to make them wait when he got the chance, Mirna said, “Touche’. We had that coming.”

The other teams trickle in and, like I said earlier, Joyce and Uchenna arrived at the pit stop about an hour ago. They’re tired, they’re beat…and they’re intrigued by this thing called “elimination”, since they’ve never experienced it.

And there you have it folks…the road to the final four! Next week, Danny and his Amazing Man Boobs!