Oh, Haley. The shorts and skirts keep getting shorter…the heels keep getting higher…the lips keep getting redder…and, apparently, even Simon Cowell is tiring of it. You’re a nice enough young woman…cut your losses and head on over to The Bachelor, where they’d appreciate your wares more.

Lest you think I fixated solely on Haley’s appearance for ninety seconds…that wasn’t the case. Her rendition of “Turn The Beat Around” (Was Vicki Sue Robinson a Latina? Or was she singing the Gloria Estefan version?) showed an utter lack of breath control, as she sounded likeIdowhenItry(BREATHE)to singthesong.

Everyone else was just…eh. I love “Sway”…and the Pussycat Dolls’ version is fantastic…but Simon was right, Mindy Doo seemed about fifty years old. However, I thought her performance was fantastically sexy, until the song ended and she went back to her Oliver Twisty personality. Weird. I guess you can turn sexy on and off like a switch.

LaKisha…looked fantastic, sang fantastic…and Simon’s a jerk, because the girl can dance just fine.

All of the guys were kind of a blur…Chris, Blake and Phil all sound exactly the same to me every week now…which drives me nuts. Chris will sing in that only falsetto key he seems to know now, even when cleverly hidden inside his “lower register”…and same with Blake. To be honest, I don’t think I even listened to Phil…what did he sing?

Jordin, as always, is wonderful…but the evening’s capstone was saved for…{whisper}…Sanjaya. I was talking to Mom last night (who “doesn’t care for” Sanjaya, by the way) and I told her that Sanjaya…and I honestly believe this…isn’t a terrible singer. He’s sort of strange in his choices, but aren’t those the folks we always make fun of…the ones who do things differently than us and therefore, make us feel awkward?

Although I would not besa him mucho, his voice was clear and didn’t need 15 backup singers (Haley, can you hear me over all of them?) to deliver the song. Randy declared him the “smartest contestant” and Simon didn’t think he was too bad. And this week, I think he actually meant it.

Bottom two: Phil and Haley. Please please please…let Haley go home.