Well kids, we made it back from Chi-town on Sunday afternoon, where we had a wonderful time…click here for photos. Our flight out of DFW was delayed for about an hour and that combined with rush-hour traffic into the city center caused us to get in pretty late. Never fear though, after dinner we were ready to go! To sleep!

Ha. Seriously though, it was a wonderful trip. We made it to the Shedd Aquarium on Friday morning, and shopped…and walked…and shopped…and ate…then ate some more. It rained a good deal of the trip (despite being 88 degrees Thursday afternoon) but from what I understand, it poured rain here at home, too so…six to one, as it were.

Saturday night was the wedding, which was beautiful, if not long…Catholic nuptial masses wear me out. Plus, they always make my wedding feel insignificant…as if our 20 minute “keep it simple, stupid” ceremony wasn’t sufficient. LOL.

We were back for a total of one day before Capt. UberHusband had to turn around and head back up to NYC today. Funny story…he got up (which means, we all got up) at 4:30 a.m. for his 7 a.m. flight…then wound up missing his flight, not being able to get on the next THREE flights, then finally chucking the whole trip. Twelve hours ago I didn’t expect to see him until Thursday night and now, he’ll be back here in about an hour. Poor guy.

In my corner of the world, things are good…school is keeping me pretty busy (busier than I probably should be for one class, good thing I’ll have two next term) and I’ve already gotten into my first “conversation” with the instructor about her ambiguous essay guidelines. If you say, “Since this is a “personal” essay, almost any content is acceptable as long as it is related to the Unit content. There must be an explicit link to the unit content in your essay to receive maximum credit. In other words you need to include the concept from the unit material you are referencing in your essay” and my essay is 100% related to the content, it’s really not cool to mark me down ten points with the vague, “I wish you would have expounded on the topic more.” Urgh.

That’s it from my neck of the woods…is anyone still out there? How were your holiday weekends?

As I was admiring myself in the dress I bought this weekend for the wedding we’re attending next weekend, I told CU I thought it looked really good…except for my pasty white skin. You see, the dress is sleeveless…and, it’s May. What this means is I have pasty white skin and absolutely no item of sleeveless clothing is complimentary to pasty white skin.

I then told CU I really needed a tan…and he suggested I go and get a spray-on tan before we go to Chicago. You see, I knew there was a reason I married that man…he comes up with brilliant ideas which probably seem really obvious to him, but sometimes I’m a little slow on the uptake. Either that, or I was scarred by that episode of Friends where Ross goes to get a spray-on tan and instead of a 2, he gets 4 rounds of 2 for…an…eight?

Anyway…have any of you ever done the spray-on tan thing? Any tips? How long does it usually last? I don’t want to look like I’ve just come back from three weeks in the islands…

And, I’m sorry, but did Edie hang herself on Desperate Housewives last night?

Apparently, I’m not the only person looking for Schrute Bucks…487 other people so far today have come to my site looking for them.

Sorry, friends…but thanks for stopping by!

TGIF!

Last night was Season Finale Thursday, my friends!

The Office

I cheered when Jim came back to Scranton and asked Pam if she was available for dinner (”Great…then it’s a date.”) and then I squealed when Corporate offered the Job Formerly Known As Jan’s to…Ryan. Did you stick around to the very end? If you didn’t, you missed the big call and Kelly’s subsequent out-of-body experience.

Everything will shift around next season, but I do wonder if they’ll bring Karen back at least to clean out her desk, since she has a new show on Fox this Fall and all.

Jan and her new boobs will be moving in with Michael after her erratic freak-out and subsequent firing (”Is it because of these????“), provided Michael can back out of the premature eBay sale of his condo (”It’ll probably affect my negative feedback.”). And, like Mike and Susan on Desperate Housewives, it looks like after three seasons, we’ll be able to watch Jim and Pam actually give their relationship a shot.

My favorite scene though, was when Michael came back from New York and told Ryan to get him a cup of coffee. Ryan’s response? “I don’t do that anymore.” Hee.

If anyone can find a Schrute Buck on the internets, let me know. There a few people I’d like to give them to. Special shout-out to Jenna Fischer (because she reads my blog, not)…get well soon!

Grey’s Anatomy

While I love hearing Jim and Pam talk about how they’re best friends and the fun they have, whenever I hear Izzie Stevens tell George he’s her best friend, a chill runs up my spine. Izzie has turned into this weird friendship stalker with crazy eyes who, a mere season ago (which was like, three months in GA time) was getting ready to marry Denny Duquette. Man, that girl sure does fall in and out of love easily…and quickly…and inappropriately.

The only thing I didn’t care for in last night’s finale was how they put everything, literally, into the last fifteen minutes. I’d read (and heard) from Shonda Rimes that this was going to have some big events but…Callie wants a baby? Really? If George actually thought that was a good idea, then I’m not surprised he failed his intern exam, because boyfriend’s common sense is sorely lacking.

I half-expected The Chief to have Bailey skip all tasks and go directly to the Chief of Surgery Pit Stop, but even the writers thought that was too incredulous an idea…so they gave the Chief Resident slot to Calliope Torres, who follows in the footsteps of the fine Drs. Mark Greene and Archie Morris.

The most surprising thing for me last night, was the discovery that Cristina’s been desperately unhappy and trapped during her entire relationship with Burke. At least, that was my interpretation. I’ve read in a couple other places she was flipping out because he was gone, but when I see someone yell “I’M FREE!” complete with Meredith cutting away the wedding gown, that just didn’t seem like remorse…it felt like relief. Thoughts? The worst part is still yet to come, however…when she wakes up the next day and realizes she may be free, but she still doesn’t have any real eyebrows. Now that’s a tragedy a girl just can’t get over in quick fashion.

Biggest non-surprise? Meredith’s half-sister showing up for her first day as an intern at Seattle Grace, all full of smiles and promise…what, two days after her mom’s funeral? Huh? With all the family bonding, Susan and Papa Grey never thought to mention their other daughter would be showing up in a week? Seriously? Nice touch in retrospect though, having Derek flirt with another Grey Girl at Joe’s the night before she began her intern year. Oh no…won’t be much drama between the intern, the resident and the neurosurgeon next season.

And…Shonda…yeah you…can you quit with everyone wearing black in the season finales? Oh, and for those of you keeping score at home, Season One finale…Derek & Meredith break up. Season Two finale, they get back togehter. Season Three finale, they sorta break up.

ER

The only parts of last night’s finale I actually watched (the rest is recorded) were the scenes between Neela and Ray. Oh, how my heart broke when the orderlies turned his wheelchair around and he’d lost both his legs. Because he’d been hit. By a truck. Listening to a voice mail from Neela. After kicking Gates’s ass. Because, Gates is an ass. And now, Ray’s on his way back to Baton Rouge with his mom. Please ER producers…give the guy new legs and bring him back to County one of these days.

And, I’m sorry, but was Neela getting trampled to death at the end?

Really, Melinda? Ten katrillion weeks into the competition and you can’t remember Randy Jackson’s name?

Even with that completely inexcusable gaffe, your American Idol final two will be…Melinda and Blake. I know, all you Blake-haters (Justin Timberfake, I believe?) think I’m nuts, but I just don’t see Jordin & Melinda in the final two.

If you want to look at the song choices for last evening as clues to who will stay and who will go…Melinda “believes in miracles,” Jordin’s back to standing outside restaurant windows looking sad and pathetic…and Blake doesn’t care if it’s wrong or if it’s right. Simon was in a good mood, Paula was disturbingly bleary-eyed the whole show (they didn’t even bother to put eye makeup on her)…and Randy would like Blake to become part of Maroon 6.

And for those of you still watching Dancing With the Stars…Ian and Cheryl went home last night. I almost expected Cheryl to knock Ian to the ground and kick the crap out of him for dashing her hopes of a DWTS hat trick. In defense of Ian though, Cheryl’s choreography was really tame and dull next to the more exciting offerings of Julianne Hough…and she doesn’t have that cute Australian accent like Kym Johnson.

On tap for tonight…the ultimate immunity challenge on Lost, and…Melinda goes home. Hey, I was right last week with LaKisha. Then again, I also picked Chris Sligh to go all the way.

PS - I got a perfect score on my first unit essay for Org Behavior…I rock! Game on, Marge!

It took a week and a half, but I now have my first classmate I’d like to bitch-slap.

When it comes to school, I’m not very competitive. I truly believe I’m there for the learning experience, and am not the type to randomly jump all over people who disagree with me or put down their ideas in front of others. Really now, that’s just rude.

This week’s Org Behavior unit is on diversity, and how individual differences (age, values, attitudes, motivations, etc.) manifest themselves within our organizations. This woman…we’ll call her “Marge,” relayed a story of her firm and the struggles they experience between the older workers and the younger ones. As a bit of a setup, Marge has already displayed she has overachiever tendencies…and this was before I found out she was a lawyer.

I responded in agreement, as my company also struggles with generational issues amongst the employees. I then shared a specific example, along with why we 30-somethings thought if our 50-something colleagues would just give progress a chance (so to speak), we could replace outdated and clunky proceses with more streamlined processes…and then we could all achieve that coveted work/life balance! I capped off my response with, “Why work 12 hours a day when you can improve a process to reduce your task-mastering to 4 hours a day?”

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So, have any of you heard about Joost? I read an article about it in the Dallas Morning News, then went frantically in search of an invitation because, I was one of the first to the gate with Gmail and Blingo…so why not join this revolution, too? Plus, it sounds neat.

And, I’m not above a little link-sharing to get an invite.

Link: Joost Invites

Oh…I have Joost invites now, as well. If you’re interested, drop me an note via the Contact Me page, or leave a comment.

The Unit 1 threaded discussion for my Org Behavior class was a virtual meet-and-greet, where we said hello to everyone, explained who we were, where we worked, what we did, why we were getting our MBA…and then we were also supposed to divulge something personal about ourselves.

Do any of you have any idea how hard it was for me to keep my snark under control? How I so badly wanted to introduce myself as Snarkwife, the regional sales manager for a small paper company in Scranton, PA? I enjoy sexually harrassing my receptionist, making stupid jokes and picking up waitresses at hibachi restaurants. I’m getting my MBA because I want to be able to bring my boss, Jan, to class for extra credit just like one of my employees did earlier in the season. Something personal? I love the Awesome Blossom® at Chili’s.

But no, I had to be professional. I even left out the part about how my main hobbies are watching television and drinking wine. Looking back at everyone else’s responses, I really do look like an underachiever. But then again…we ARE in the virtual world. For all I know, these folks are hooking up to the internet from the bathroom of a gas station…or alternating between saying,”MUST CONTROL FIST OF DEATH” and “Corporate Accounts Payable, Nina speaking…just a moment!” while reading about The Beer Game.

I also refrained from posting on our class message board this morning, asking if anyone had seen last night’s episode of Lost, then initiating a conversation about how whether or not demanding someone kill their father in order to be accepted into a new group is truly an effective form of motivation. Likewise, what were Ben’s individual needs? What personal fulfillment did Ben need in order to turn himself over 100% to his team, the Other White Hostiles? Most importantly, why didn’t anyone go back to the van to get the rest of the beer? I mean, really now.

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Capt. UberHusband has now officially been home from Iraq for a year.

What does this mean, you ask? It means I can now erase “This time last year, while you were gone…” from my vocabulary.

This is good.

I think I’ve figured out why Blake Lewis has dropped off in appeal for me…it’s his hair. I loved his blonde hair, and now he looks just like all the other brunettes on the stage…well, you know what I mean. Didn’t he realize the folks on The Soup were kidding when they were hawking the House of Sanjaya as the answer to all that ails your hair?

You have to kind of know going in though, that with Blake, LaKisha, Melinda and Jordin…Barry Gibb Night is going to be a bit of a challenge. Barry Gibb Night was a bit of a challenge for me, as the first thing I said when BG started speaking was, “When did Barry Gibb turn into Sean Connery?” I was hoping he’d say something like, “That’s what yer mother said, Trebek!”

At least Jordin didn’t say, “Omigod! My grandma loves you!”

On the upside, for the first time in my 35 years, I was actually able to understand the lyrics to all the songs, except for “Woman In Love.” I already knew all the words to that song (which embarrasingly, I was able to demonstrate to CU last evening) as my mother enjoyed playing the Guilty album every single Saturday morning while she cleaned the house. I’ve always suspected that was her way of getting me up and out of bed, because really, what 15-year old can actually sleep with that racket playing in the living room?

I didn’t have that same experience of immediate lyric recognition during Blake’s second performance of “Unknown B Side.” As much as I hate to say it, I think Blake’s on his way out.

Or…maybe it will be LaKisha. Phil Stacey went out in a “Blaze of Glory” last week…oh the irony if “Staying Alive” seals the same fate for LaKisha. Maybe Melinda had the right idea when she told BG she wanted to avoid singing about losers.

Extreme Makeover: Jailhouse Edition Ty Pennington was tossed in the clink Saturday night for suspicion of DUI. His subsequent apology was brought to you by the fine folks at Sears and Home Depot. First Paige Davis, then Ty…what’s next, Vern Yip decorating Paris Hilton’s jail cell for less than a grand?

Just Like The Dannielynn Trial, Only With More Mature Litigants…Sorta: Three parties are so interested in obtaining custody of Alex the golden retriever, that the dog was assigned his own counsel to represent his best interests. “In the consent order the judge approved, the elder Callan and his ex-wife, Esther Snow Gnall, will trade custody of Alex every two weeks. Both parents also agreed to take the dog to the veterinarian for arthritis treatments and any other needed procedures.” So, if you see a couple of disgruntled older people handing a dog off to each other on Friday night at McDonald’s, it’s probably them.

Great…Another “Giggly”: Critics have already begun panning Lindsay Lohan’s new film “Georgia Rule,” which despite also starring Jane Fonda and Felicity Huffman, can’t seem to move past the fact that it also stars Lindsay Lohan. I’ve seen the trailer. Don’t see this movie. Snarkwife Rule.

Look Out Taye Diggs…Rose Is Coming For You! The producers of Lost have mapped out the remaining 3 seasons (48 episodes total) of the series. Mid-way through season six, all of the infertile women on the island will be sent to the Oceanside Wellness Clinic to get a dose of Dr. Addison McMontshepherdgomery and her private practice of snake oil salespeople. After the women are told their submarine has indeed sunk…again…they all hook up with Tim Daly before landing gigs on the 23rd season of The Bachelor.

No One DOR’s In The Eleventh Week! No One! Bachelorette Amber was sent home last night on The Bachelor, after Randy Andy declared her apartment “like a sorority house” when their 7-year age difference knocked him over like mile 25 of the Ironman marathon. Oh yeah, and her parents declined to meet him. I have no idea why he wouldn’t want to cling to that level of baggage with all his Navy might. Go Tessa!

Last night’s Laugh-Out-Loud Quote O’ The Night during Dancing With The Stars goes once again to Capt. UberHusband who quipped, while Ian Ziering and Cheryl Burke were dancing to “Baby It’s Cold Outside,” “Maybe you should cover up your back, Cheryl.”

He is so funny.

We’ll omit speaking about Billy Ray Cyrus, because it’s insulting he’s still around…but, why was Joey Fatone dancing with JonBenet Ramsey? That was, by far, the WORST costuming I’ve ever seen in my entire life. Sure, the dress floated and twirled appropriately but, you have to admit, it did look like a cotton candy confectionary pageant dress.

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Once again, for the 32nd consecutive season…the team I want to win The Amazing Race doesn’t win. AARGH! CU and I have been gunning for KandyDust to win since, oh, episode three or four…but victory was not to be theirs last night. I would have preferred Charla and Mirna win if KandyDust wasn’t going to do it…but Eric and Danielle? Really?

As usual, the high point of the episode for me was when they went to Hawaii, because CU and I like to incorporate visiting Amazing Task Locations during our trips there. The only location on Oahu this time though, was the Hamaka Air Hangar, and we went there back in February of ‘05. Who knows, maybe this next trip we’ll helicopter over to Lanai.

In other weekend news…we took Cookie back to the vet on Friday, because we stopped her meds on Wednesday and she coughed all night Thursday. Our vet confirmed what we already knew really, that Cookie’s in the beginning (we hope) stages of heart failure. What this means is we keep her on the meds (enalapril and furosemide), twice a day, for the rest of her life. I am truly amazed at the power of medications - she hasn’t coughed, her heart and breathing rates are where they should be (How did I not know what was “normal” for the first ten years of her life?) and, the best part? She’s back on puppy food. Cookie’s always been skinny but in the last six months or so, she’s gotten downright bony.

What else…school started over the weekend. What they say about online classes is true…you definitely spend more time working on them, if for no other reason than you’re pretty much forced to interact with your fellow classmates via threaded discussions. I probably learned more about my 20 classmates in the last two days than I did about any of my fellow classmates in my undergrad classes.

But, Org Behavior is going to be a kick. I really enjoy analyzing people and their behaviors and discussing what facilitates positive outputs…and God knows I have enough case studies at my company…it’s like Christmas in May!

Listen to me…”facilitates positive outputs.” Sigh. I can’t write things like that without thinking of my high school English teachers, who used to get on me for overuse of “flowery” language.

**Spoilers below…BEWARE!**

Oh Shonda, I am so disapponted with you…couldn’t you have gone outside your formula just a bit when creating the new characters for Montgomery’s Anatomy?

Did you have to cast George O’Malley as Cooper, the befuddled pediatrician who carries a perma-torch for Violet, played by Izzie Stevens? I must say though, it was a clever casting move with Alex Karev as HIMSELF in twenty years. Kidding. UGH.

Let me say that again…UGH.

Now, I know I didn’t like Grey’s Anatomy at first, either…but to take Addison and Meredithify her…complete with the insanely LAME “talking elevator”…and then top it off with her desperation to have a baby because she needs “change” in her life (Hello! Worst reason ever to have a baby!)…let me say that again…UGH.

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The Princess And The P: American Idol season five contestant and Gary Coleman-lookalike Paris Bennett has a new CD coming out. My mom was not a fan of Mistress P, so naturally, I told her I’d be getting two copies of the CD for her for Mother’s Day. You know, one for the car and one for the house…so she’ll never be without her tunes.

For $1.04 More, You’ll Get Free Super Saver Shipping: On a funny sidenote…the Amazon page reads, “Buy Princess P and get Elliott Yamin at an additional $2.00 off Amazon.com’s everyday low price. Buy Together Today: $23.96″ Really?

Gilmore Girls Is Ending It’s 231-Season Run: To quote the fabulous Dakota Fanning…”I’m not familiar.”

Spider-Man 3 Opens Tomorrow: What rock have I been living under?

I’m Thinking A Cross Between Jarhead And Private Benjamin: Jessica Simpson will star in a new movie about a down-on-her-luck actress who joines the Marines. Wouldn’t it just be easier for her to call VH1 and ask them if she can be on The Surreal Life?

So kids, did you know you can buy textbooks on the internet? That’s right…you can buy them through authorized sellers at Amazon, and you can get them on eBay.

Me? I actually went to the bookstore (that was a fun half-day trip) and bought my used books there…which was great to give me the “collegiate experience” I remember from yesteryear, but it also set me back an additional hundred bucks.

Lesson learned.

And…the first giggleworthy moment of the Summer term…I received an email yesterday imploring all students to read the University of Dallas academic honesty and ethics policies found online at {link}. I click on the link and…dead link. I think my capstone project should be re-engineering their website.

I swear, the world is such a funny place. Last night, as storms were barrelling through the area, Dan Henry on Fox 4 News fielded a viewer question wondering if the storm coverage was going to pre-empt American Idol. It reminded me of last week, when the same person, I’m sure, called WFAA to ask them if they were going to show the results for Dancing With The Stars.

I’ve been here in Dallas for nine years now, and last night’s storms were without a doubt, the worst I’ve ever experienced here. Considering our house has about 40 windows, the rattling from the wind was really weird…so much so we wound up in the Tornado Room…the guest bathroom…for about 45 minutes.

Now that it’s light, I can go out and assess our roof and the stability of our fence. I swear, one of these days we’ll luck out and the fence will topple. Hey, I’d rather pay the deductible and have insurance pick up the remaining cost of a new fence (which we really need) than foot the cost of a new one all on our own. The trees are still standing, although a disturbing amount of leaves were lost around our neighborhood.

I talked to one of my co-workers this morning, and they lost a big branch off his pear tree, and a neighbor of his lost an entire tree. I think our “significant” damage is limited to our rose bushes getting beaten up pretty well. They’re hardy though…they’ll bounce back.

Unfortunately, CU is out of town and missed all the fun. He missed watching Cookie do laps around the living room for fifteen minutes before the brunt of the storm hit…which was really creepy.

Oh…and Fox 4 did kick over to American Idol at 8. I can’t believe Phil Stacey went home. Truth be told, at this point of the com-pe-ti-tion, I would have rather seen LaKisha leave.