snarkwifedotcom

Extreme Makeover: Jailhouse Edition Ty Pennington was tossed in the clink Saturday night for suspicion of DUI. His subsequent apology was brought to you by the fine folks at Sears and Home Depot. First Paige Davis, then Ty…what’s next, Vern Yip decorating Paris Hilton’s jail cell for less than a grand?

Just Like The Dannielynn Trial, Only With More Mature Litigants…Sorta: Three parties are so interested in obtaining custody of Alex the golden retriever, that the dog was assigned his own counsel to represent his best interests. “In the consent order the judge approved, the elder Callan and his ex-wife, Esther Snow Gnall, will trade custody of Alex every two weeks. Both parents also agreed to take the dog to the veterinarian for arthritis treatments and any other needed procedures.” So, if you see a couple of disgruntled older people handing a dog off to each other on Friday night at McDonald’s, it’s probably them.

Great…Another “Giggly”: Critics have already begun panning Lindsay Lohan’s new film “Georgia Rule,” which despite also starring Jane Fonda and Felicity Huffman, can’t seem to move past the fact that it also stars Lindsay Lohan. I’ve seen the trailer. Don’t see this movie. Snarkwife Rule.

Look Out Taye Diggs…Rose Is Coming For You! The producers of Lost have mapped out the remaining 3 seasons (48 episodes total) of the series. Mid-way through season six, all of the infertile women on the island will be sent to the Oceanside Wellness Clinic to get a dose of Dr. Addison McMontshepherdgomery and her private practice of snake oil salespeople. After the women are told their submarine has indeed sunk…again…they all hook up with Tim Daly before landing gigs on the 23rd season of The Bachelor.

No One DOR’s In The Eleventh Week! No One! Bachelorette Amber was sent home last night on The Bachelor, after Randy Andy declared her apartment “like a sorority house” when their 7-year age difference knocked him over like mile 25 of the Ironman marathon. Oh yeah, and her parents declined to meet him. I have no idea why he wouldn’t want to cling to that level of baggage with all his Navy might. Go Tessa!