Because of this guy, now my husband is afraid to go to the bathroom in the airport whilst he travels around the country…sometimes for work, sometimes just because. When we go to the airport next Thursday, our plan is to stop three times on the way out and then hold it until we get to a comfortable cruising altitude.

With that in mind…

• Gentlemen, if you find yourself in a bathroom stall and the person next to you yells out, “Man, I feel like a woman!” Do not immediately assume this person is gay and wants to have sex with you. He may simply be listening to the Shania Twain song on his iPod.
• If you’re in a bathroom stall and someone tries to come in, it is likely they just didn’t see your feet under the door. They probably are not trying to break down the door because they are gay and want to have sex with you.

• Pumping the soap dispenser is not a euphemism for pumping someone else.

I also recommend you print out this Bathroom Stall Foot/Toe-tapping Reference List on a small card, and keep it on your person at all times:

• One tap: Involuntary muscle twitch
• Two taps: Meet me at Starbucks for a latte
• Three taps: Meet me in St. Louis
• Four taps: Meet me in the lavatory on the flight
• Five taps: Dammit, why won’t my foot wake up?
• Six taps: My name is Chris Hansen, from Dateline NBC.

Should anyone knock three times on the ceiling, we all know what that means. Proceed with caution.

Have a good holiday weekend ya’ll.

Appetizer
Who is the easiest person for you to talk to?

Capt. UberHusband

Soup
If you could live in any ancient city during the height of the quality of its society and culture, which one would you choose?

When I think of “ancient” cities I think of Athens, Rome, and Babylon. However, I’m not sure any of them had reached the height of the quality of their societies and cultures when they were still in “ancient” status. Athens would be pretty cool to visit now, though.

Salad
What is the most exciting event you’ve ever witnessed?

When I was in college, UCSB upset UNLV in the Thunderdome (our home turf)…it was absolute insanity. Gotta love You Tube - it’s amazing being able to go back 17 years (good God) and hear all of us cheering “Gauchos, Gauchos.”

Main Course
If you were a celebrity, what would you do for a publicity stunt?

Stay at home on the weekends and watch TV.

Dessert
What do you consider the ideal age to have a first child?

When you’re mature enough to understand that parenthood goes past the cute baby phase - and that age varies from person to person.

Make Sure Grandma Waits 30 Minutes After Eating, Too

Originally uploaded by snarkwife

**Cross-dressing student allowed to attend Dallas school**

My blog is starting to become my most hated thing on Earth…the one-topic blog which is quite boring to the general public and besides, no one really cares about my project team this semester so just quit with the incessant school talk, already. Whoops…ran away with myself a bit.

Anyhoo…I remember back in high school, the guys in our class protested the fact they weren’t allowed to wear shorts (but the girls were allowed to wear mini-skirts…neener neener) by showing up in mini-skirts one day at school. It was great…totally disruptive. Becky, our ASB President, and I sat in the principal’s office pitching our case on behalf of everyone’s legs, which were screaming to be released from the shackles of long pants in 95-degree weather. I think the local news station showed up, too.

However, the guys were back to jeans and t-shirts the next day. I guess I don’t have an issue with what this young man is doing so much as what he’s wearing. Capri pants really aren’t flattering on a fuller figure (I speak from tragic experience), and really, gold high-heeled pumps are never a good idea unless you’re at a Mardi Gras party.

Thoughts? Did you push the envelope with your clothing choices at school? Did someone ever tell you your Pat Benatar haircut made you look like a boy and that was just unacceptable?

Well folks, I have a project team. It was a little iffy there for awhile, as Mr. Three Sisters emailed me yesterday afternoon to let me know he had joined forces with another person the night before, and that person committed both of them to another team yesterday morning.

So I’m thinking to myself…”You joined my team Monday night, and this person committed you to a team on Tuesday morning…so you’re backing out of my team?” Whatever. Good riddance. We picked up a couple of guys (both refugees from my Org Behavior class) and have since decided we need a team-building exercise to help us recover from our team-building exercise. I really thought this process would be easier than it turned out to be…which is funny because I tend to lean more to the side of over-complicating, not over-simplifying things.

Guess what I learned today? You know how annoyed you get when you buy something and then a week later, a “new and improved” version comes out? There’s an actual term for that…”Applenomics” or for the uninitiated, “Microsofticity.” Kidding. It’s “planned obsolescence.” I is edumacated.

Mark Cuban, Wayne Newton Try `Dancing’ - Forbes.com

TMZ announced the alleged Dancing With the Stars roster yesterday…ahead of the ABC announcement…and was WRONG! I mean really, what were the odds we’d get two 90210 alums, especially with Tori working on her own show?

Who else did they unnecessarily tease us with…Lou Ferrigno…Nia Peeples…Gisele Bundchen (really?)…and Aaron Carter. And after seeing that horrible show about the Carter brothers, I am very happy he’s not on the official list. I could so see him getting all grabby with Julianne Hough. That would anger CU, let me tell you.

I am happy though, about the Mark Cuban choice…if for no other reason than it means all of our local newscasts will make fun of him until he’s voted off, which should be about a week.

My favorite in the bunch though, is definitely Wayne Newton. Every season we’ve had the Awesomely Aging Guy…George Hamilton, Jerry Springer, John Ratzenberger…but…which Professional Partner will they team up with him? Edyta?

Tune in for the season premiere on Monday, September 24!

Yesterday while CU was in New Orleans, he found out he needed to be in Mountain View, CA today for a meeting. He changes his flights around and catches one this morning which connects through DFW. How odd…to connect through the city where you live.

Anyway, as they’re closing the plane doors, he gets a text message that the meeting in CA has been cancelled. So now he’s trapped, on a plane, flying to a coast where he has nothing to do. He called me a couple hours ago with this story, and I just felt so badly for him.

He just called again, and his flight back here to Dallas is boarding…he’ll be landing around 9 PM.

In a nutshell, he flew from New Orleans to San Jose and then back to Dallas…all over the course of twelve hours. Didn’t do anything, really…just…flew.

The Despair Inc. Blog » Video - Addressing Employee Complaints

Ya’ll seen this? Reminds me of beloved posts about Miss South Kellylina from yesteryear…and was it just me or did she say something about Osama?

And thanks Mario, for showing what you can do post-Dancing With The Stars.

In life, we must have balance. Having said that, when I am almost bursting with joy at the potential of a situation…reality will inevitably step in and say, “Snarkwife, you knew it wasn’t going to be that easy, right?”

With my newfound confidence yesterday morning, I set out to build a team. I found a couple of people with whom I’d like to work and immediately shot off emails to them. I likened this to a virtual playground, where you start picking teams for dodgeball and eventually, the “losers” are left standing around awkwardly without anywhere to go until someone takes pity on them…well, because they have to. You’re left wondering why those people didn’t think you were good enough…or smart enough.

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So, in a variation of Becky’s “Greatest Hits” post…I decided to take the topic a bit more literally and talk about specific songs which bring back specific memories for me. Ironically, this was also a question in last week’s Friday’s Feast. Spooooooooooky!

• Don Henley - “Down At The Sunset Grill” - I had my first real kiss while this song was playing. Ninth grade. School dance. Found out the guy broke up with me via the school bus grapevine the day after Halloween. Smooth.
• 98 Degrees - “I Do (Cherish You)” - This song was on the radio right before I met CU in person for the first time. Ah, the summer of ‘99.

• Dee-Lite - “Groove Is In The Heart” - Sophomore year of college…I drank many wine coolers while enjoying this song. Don’t tell the authorities.

• Andy Gibb - “Shadow Dancing” - My 19th birthday party…you had to be there, but I do have video.
• Debby Boone - “You Light Up My Life” - I used to walk to school with these two other girls in Wisconsin, and we’d sing the song at the top of our lungs on the way. Made some very snowy mornings a little more tolerable…even for a little girl.

An addendum to this post…what is it with people wearing their Bluetooth headsets everywhere? I mean…everywhere. I was at DSW Shoes today and was surrounded with women who were either insane, so lacking in social interaction they’d resulted to talking to themselves, or wearing Bluetooth headsets…because they all seemed to be talking to themselves and it was…well, weird. Sure enough, they were all on their headsets.

You know, I bought a Bluetooth headset for my iPhone, but I only wear it in the car because I think I look like something out of Star Trek when I have it on. The general population doesn’t need to be subjected to that.

Actually, I take my earlier statement back…they weren’t all on their headsets. One woman was talking into her stupid speaker phone, so the whole store could hear her entire conversation. I wanted to go stand right next to that woman and ask her if she could hear me now? I’d follow up with, “It’s the network.”

But, I found a pair of shoes I liked and suddenly, antagonizing a woman who was clearly in distress because she only had three other people in her humanities class at Quad C today wasn’t such a high priority.

It’s that time again, when the local kiddos head back to school. CU has been saying things like, “Neener neener, they all have to go back to school…hahahahaHAHAHAHA” for the past week and yesterday I finally had to confront him with, “HEY…*I* have to go back to school too, so quit with the cackling.”

That’s right…my 6-week break from school was, as always, way too short. My marketing management class started over the weekend, and I’m doing the online thing again. I’m taking another course…ops management…but it doesn’t start for another four weeks. I’m itchy to take an actual in-person course, but with our vacation coming up and my mom being here around that time, it just wasn’t the right time to need to physically be somewhere for a lecture during the week. So, I’ll venture down that path next semester.

So far, the class seems like it will be better organized than my last one. First off, my instructor is actually a professor…and the department chair. His syllabus was clear and easy to understand…and it sounds like he actually gives a rip about our learning experience. After last semester and the Org Behavior Instructor From Hell, this has been a breath of fresh air so far. He even said wrote at the very top of the syllabus:

ALWAYS SAY THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS FIRST:

I’m glad you are here. I recognize that in taking this course you are investing your time and money. I will do my best to make it up-to-date, relevant, and interesting to help you get the most out of the course.

Oh, marketing professor. Tell me where you are going, and I will follow.

I don’t think I mentioned what my workload was like last semester. In addition to required threaded discussion “participation” (which is required of every online class, and isn’t a big deal to me), we had weekly 4-5 page essays, a 10-15 page team case analysis and a 20-25 page individual case analysis. Of course, we also had our assigned reading. It was a lot of work.

(more…)

A couple of days after I got my iPhone, I received a text message from…someone I didn’t know. It was one of those “I watch The Hills” kind of text messages…”Wht r u doin” Um…nothing? I ignored it, figuring maybe I got Paris Hilton’s old number or something.

Then last night, I got another text from my Mystery Admirer…”Hi wht r u doin” Alright, enough is enough. If you’re going to ask me a question, at least have the common courtesy to put a question mark at the end of your query. I texted back, telling the sender he/she (I have no idea if it was a guy or a girl) had the wrong number, and to quit texting me. Here’s what I got back:

U know sumthin i never regreted nothin more than lyin 2 u i can’t even 4give myself i mis tlkin 2 u & hearin ur voice im sorry i hop 2 tlk 2 u agin 1day sry ok

Okay readers…you choose…was that message (a) new Britney Spears lyrics or (b) a Rosie O’Donnell blog post?

Seriously though, we were at an SPCA event last night, which was a great opportunity to see our good friend Ali, do some wine tasting and help doggies and kitties in need…actually, the whole evening is probably a great subject for it’s own blog post…maybe later.

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Appetizer
Say there’s a book written about your life. Who would you want to narrate the audio version?

Kathy Griffin

Soup
Take the letters from your favorite kind of nut and write a sentence. (Example: Perhaps every avenue needs understanding today.)

Californians amazingly share heated Evian water. That is quite possible the weirdest sentence I’ve ever written. That’s right. I like both cashews and tiqptwsiew nuts.

Salad
If you could go back in time and spend one week in another decade, which decade would you choose?

The 60s - probably because we just watched Bobby the other night.

Main Course
Name a song that brings back memories for you.

I’ll reserve my answer for this until a little later today.

Dessert
Do you prefer to wash your hands in cold water or warm water?

Warm

Mama Snark is coming down to house/dog sit on the front end of our trip to Hawaii, so CU and I are working feverishly to fix all the things in our house which could be potentially embarrassing…like this sad excuse for an “elevated dog feeder”.

There’s something about setting food & water bowls atop a random assortment of cookbooks that just screams Nouveau Trash Alert! I’ll take my dog to a specialist who only comes to Dallas once a month to have an EKG done…but I make her eat her food on top of an outdated George Stella cookbook. Thank God she’s blind. And, please don’t tell Martha and Paula. I don’t need the cookbook police showing up on my doorstep. I believe this little gem is also in the pile somewhere.

So I sit down at my trusty laptop and begin my Big Search Online for the ultimate raised doggie bowl feeder/thingiemajigger. Previous visits to PetSmart and Petco have been fruitless, as they assume all dogs are at least 12″ tall…same for IKEA…so I have to use my advanced search powers.

First stop? Why, Blingo of course…where I quickly locate this item, which is the perfect height but…um…NINETY SIX DOLLARS? I refuse to buy a feeder that costs roughly the same as a visit to the vet. Next.

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So I was reading this article about high-tech manners this morning, and it reminded me of an experience I had at my allergy doctor’s office a couple of weeks ago.

I was in the waiting room, flipping through People magazine and the gentleman sitting next to me picked up his ringing cell phone. First off, he had a booming voice - and I almost felt like I was being shouted at, even though I wasn’t directly involved in the conversation. Here’s what I found out about the guy:

1. He was interested in purchasing a home warranty, but due to financial issues, couldn’t pay for the whole thing right now.
2. He has rather significant financial issues, as he outlined most of them for the entire waiting room.
3. He did have enough money though, to pay half now and the remainder next month.
4. I learned his full name, credit card number, expiration date, and card security code.

In this case, it wasn’t just the fact that he was so enveloped by his warm & comforting bubble that he didn’t realize there were four people sitting around him while he was engaged in this conversation, it was the fact that these four people could have very easily written down all his information and stolen his identity.

Cell phone rudeness is definitely on my top ten list of Things That Piss Me Off. Call me old fashioned, but it drives me batty when I’m with someone and they engage in a long, drawn-out cell phone call. I don’t care if it’s a quick call, but if you push more than 60 seconds on the phone…that’s really just rude.

(more…)

If you’re ever in south Chicago at 12:26 AM over Memorial Day weekend and find yourself following the shuttle bus that will help you find your way back downtown after a wedding…be mindful of the traffic lights. If one turns red and you unintentionally drive through while trying not to lose sight of the bus…the City of Chicago will find you.

Appetizer
Describe your laundry routine. Do you have a certain day when you do it all, or do you just wash whatever you need for the next day?

I do laundry every day…a load a day keeps things from piling up.

Soup
In your opinion, what age will you be when you’ll consider yourself to truly be old?

Well, my mom is getting older, but my grandma seems old. So…80?

Salad
What is one of your goals? Is it short-term, long-term, or both?

Finishing my MBA…that’s a long-term goal. A short-term goal would be…re-doing the pantry. I’m antsy to get going on that, but with our trip to Hawaii only three weeks away…and CU out of town the week after next…that might all have to wait until we get back.

Main Course
Name something unbelievable you’ve seen or read lately.

I had to go to the vet yesterday to pick up some meds for Daisy (durn itchy paws again), and pulled into a parking spot next to a big SUV. The engine was running and there was a kid strapped into a carseat and another smallish kid tumbling around the backseat. No parent in the car. Turns out, the vehicle belonged to a woman who had brought her dog in for an office visit. I was flabbergasted. Had she not been paying the bill and on her way out, I would have called the cops. She wasn’t very nice to her dog, either.

Dessert
On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how happy are you today?

Sadly, about a four. My stomach, head and back have hurt all day…and Marketing Weenie is being particularly weenieish. Plus, it’s Cleaning Friday and I haven’t felt well enough to clean the house. Boo.

So I was sitting here, watching our 401(k) and IRA accounts decline, literally, by the second and thought…I really should have more money in my E*Trade Complete Savings Account. With a 5.05% APY (over 8x the national average!)…ha…I’m just messing with you.

A couple of months ago, we had a new neighbor move in next door. The couple who previously lived there popped out a couple of kids and, as people tend to do around here, once the second kid shows up…they move out. This likely explains why after six years in our neighborhood, we’re the old-timers on the block. Well, us and Demon Spawn and his family back behind us. They won’t ever move.

Anyway, we were curious when a moving van showed up…you’re always a little panicky when new neighbors move in. Do they have screaming kids? Do they have screaming spouses? Do they like to throw loud parties? Will they let their home and yard go to pot, dragging down your property value? Our reconnaissance missions yielded the following: (1) Our neighbor was a chick, (2) she appeared to be single, (3) she had a couple of foofoo dogs and (4) she looked normal.

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You know, my blog is starting to sound like one of those places where you go to read paid advertisements about things other people want me to say I like. But, I swear…that isn’t the case…I just have a lot of great things to share!

One of my co-workers has hit the big time…he has been in cahoots with the best-selling Christmas Chronicles series for some time now, and the franchise has a new book coming out this Fall - just in time for Christmas gift-giving!

Santa’s North Pole Cookbook

From the Publisher:

In this one-of-a-kind Christmas cookbook, Saint Nicholas himself invites readers to pull up their chairs to his dining table at the North Pole and enjoy a bounty of his most cherished holiday recipes. Featuring classic American holiday dishes as well as mouthwatering Christmas fare from all over the world-Santa’s favorite finds from his extensive travels-Santa’s North Pole Cookbook offers an abundance of holiday meals that are as delicious as they are rich in Christmas tradition.

With more than seventy classic Christmas recipes from German Christmas Goose with Cabbage and Potato Dumplings and Santa’s Favorite Rosemary Turkey to Christopsomo (the traditional Greek holiday bread that children decorate with dough designs before baking) and English Christmas Plum Pudding, Santa’s North Pole Cookbook is a must-have for anyone who delights in preparing delectable, yet easy-to-make holiday food for their family. Santa also tells the fascinating lore of the celebration of the winter solstice and the festivities of Christmas, sharing with readers the wonderful stories about how and where he personally encountered these toothsome delicacies in his yuletide travels.

Full of appetizers, side dishes, main courses, beverages-and, of course, desserts!-Santa’s North Pole Cookbook guides readers in creating special holiday meals for their loved ones at Christmastime.

Great…now I’m hungry.

For every boo, I need a yay…PetCareRx has become my new favorite online merchant. Cookie’s drug cocktail to keep her heart disease/failure manageable would run me about $60 every 45-60 days if purchased from my vet’s office. With PetCareRx though, I get them for literally, a quarter of the cost. Same drugs…and I don’t even have to drive to my vet’s office to pick them up…they’re delivered right to my door!

/infomercial

Seriously though, with the vent about Vonage below…I had to share a good customer service experience with ya’ll. Hopefully your furbabies won’t ever need maintenance medication, but if they do…check out PetCareRx. I can even get American AAdvantage miles, too!

This has not been a paid advertisement.

Let me get all the keywords in right from the get-go: Vonage Softphone, X-Pro-Vonage software, Mac OS X crashing. Hopefully someone out there Googling these things like I did (sadly, too late) will learn from my mistake.

Having said that, I’m getting business cards at work - I requested a box after realizing I have significant networking opportunities both in school and in normal everyday life, and I don’t have any cards to hand out. For three years now, my work number has been my home phone number. Very few people have it, so it hasn’t been an issue. With business cards though, I don’t want to just randomly hand out my home phone number…even if it’s disguised as a work number. Just having my cell phone number on the card makes me look like a consultant…or I don’t have a real office.

Anyway, I thought to myself…why don’t I pick up a Softphone line from Vonage? I’ll drop my “unlimited” program on our main line since we rarely use more than 500 minutes, then the extra cost of the Softphone line will balance us out to about what we were paying before - and I’ll have that second line with voice mail and all the other bells and whistles. Plus, it will be on my laptop, so maybe I can actually start traveling with CU once in awhile - since that was supposedly one of the benefits of being a mobile worker.

As a responsible Mac user, I know not everything on God’s green earth is compatible with my chosen OS, so I checked the technical requirements - turns out, all I need is Mac OS X version 10.2 or newer. Fantastic! I’m running 10.4.10! I sign up for my new Softphone (for which I am charged a $9.99 “activation fee” for their database trigger to update a few tables but…bygones), download my software and am ready to go! Sweet!

But…because I am me, I have to test it out. I call CU and ask him to call me on the Softphone. He does…my laptop rings…and I answer the call. Success! We chat for a minute, then I hang up. The application crashes. Hmm. I restart it and have to go through the login process again. Odd. I call CU this time to check outbound calls…we chat, then I hang up. The application crashes. Okay…well…maybe my account just isn’t fully set up yet. I ask CU to call back again, this time to check the voice mail. He calls and I sit here listening to my laptop ring. After the fourth ring his call is kicked over to voice mail and…yes my friends…the application crashes.

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When I was talking to my mom last night, I actually had to put her on hold for a second so I could rearrange some timers on our DVR. You see, we have too many shows to record on Monday nights and things were overlapping…and I was getting messages that certain things weren’t going to record due to conflicts…oy.

Too many shows to record…in August. I don’t recall ever having said anything like that before. I told Mom I don’t remember ever having this much new television to watch during the summer months. We’re actively watching (from what I can remember…our DVR knows for sure) Army Wives, Bridezillas, Entourage, Big Love, Weeds and The Closer. Factor in Throwdown With Bobby Flay and Beach Patrol and it’s starting to look like late September around here.

Of course, the real tragedy is the season finales of Army Wives, Entourage and Big Love are looming in the near future. Big Love ending already is a definite bummer, for it has become one of my favorite weird family dynamic dramas. Nicki’s hysterical chastising of Benny with, “You don’t get to pick and choose which parts of the Principle you want to follow!” was fantastic. You go, girl! If he wants to be a priestholder and have multiple wives, he needs to understand the “You’re not my mother” argument isn’t going to fly. I fell asleep 2/3 into last night’s episode, so I need to catch up. I do need Margene to actually start looking a little pregnant…the way the show has flowed this season, it seems like only a month has passed. At this rate, they’ll have to replace Teeny (does she even still live there?) next season or marry her off to someone or something.

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I’m no longer receiving the comment notifications. At first I thought the good folks at RoadRunner high speed internet had decided to block ‘em at the snarkwife email address, but then I switched to a Gmail account for delivery…and they aren’t showing up there, either. They’re not in my Inbox, and not in my Junk folder and as we all know, Gmail delivers everything.

On occasion I’ll get an email that a comment is in moderation status…but that’s it. And yes, I have confirmed the correct checkboxes are checked.

Anyone else experiencing this? I haven’t gone over to Wordpress’s support forums yet because they all get so persnickety when you ask a question…like you’re the dumbest dolt on Earth, even if you’ve been using WP for 3 1/2 years.

So, first we thought we were moving to Seattle, but then we find out CU is moving to Iraq. He gets back a year ago, and we realize we’re probably here in the DFW area for the long haul unless someone’s employer is willing to pay us to move somewhere else…because we’re cheap…and lazy…and don’t feel like packing up the house.

We replace the carpeting and add hardwood flooring, put in a custom closet in the master bedroom, install new landscaping in the front yard, remodel the laundry room…and I start graduate school again. We’re here. We’re staying put.

And then…then…CU is offered a job in North Carolina with a full relocation package. Have you ever noticed just when you start getting used to the idea of something and settle in…that’s usually when the wrench is thrown in? Yeah, me too. At least we hadn’t started renovating the kitchen, yet.

So…we have some decisions to make but right now, the pros are outweighing the cons by a pretty significant margin.

More to come… Update…never mind…the newly discovered “cons” swung us back the other way, and we’re staying put.

Next project…the pantry!

Do you ever have those times when you wish you could play the tit-for-tat game, and actually have it come out in your favor?

My Org Behavior class ended nearly two weeks ago, and grades were due into the Student Records office last Friday…August 3. Grades were to be published online this past Monday and needless to say, I was excited because I’m dying to know how I did both on my individual project and overall in the class.

Monday comes and goes…no grades have been posted. Yesterday, the emails start coming in from fellow classmates, all wondering if we’ve heard from our instructor or seen anything remotely resembling a grade. No one had, so we all start emailing and calling Student Records, wondering what’s up.

Apparently, our instructor just blew off the grade submission deadline. One unhelpful representative had the gall to tell me it was my responsibility to follow up with the instructor because even though there’s a deadline, instructors don’t always meet it. So, I did. Here was her reply:

I will try to get them out to everyone before too long. Final grades should be uploaded into Banner in the next few days.

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That’s right. And if you think I’m iDumb for buying one, keep it to yourself, because I am completely in love with the thing. The cost was a little scary at first but then I thought, I need a new phone (my old one was two years old) and I need a new iPod (again, two years old and it doesn’t do video) and well, who doesn’t need mobile web, IM and email?

The first thing I did when I got home was delete that haughty “Sent from an iPhone” email signature. That just screams, “I derive all of my self-esteem from my mobile device.”

There’s only one little glitch…and it’s really not the fault of the iPhone. Apparently, Time Warner doesn’t like it when you try to send email out over their SMTP server if you aren’t, in fact, connected to their network. So when I’m connected via EDGE instead of wi-fi, I can’t access my RoadRunner email account…which is my primary personal email account.

So far, that’s about all I have to complain about - and I’ve spent probably a good eight hours since buying it on Saturday playing with it and getting it set up. I’ll need to put it away and spend some time with CU tonight, so he doesn’t rebrand himself the iHusband and try to connect with me via Bluetooth.

Man, it has been forever since I did one of these…

Appetizer
On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being highest, how polite are you?

To people’s faces? A 10…and that’s not a good thing, because it means I’ve also been walked all over more times than I care to admit.

Soup
What was the last thing that made you laugh out loud?

Our Morning Weather Guy was wearing this awful red sports coat, black shirt and red tie today. The anchors were ribbing him about how he looked like a used car salesman, so he asked our Friday morning car review guy, “What would it take to get you into a car today?” Car Review Guy replied, “You’d have to take me to your audition for Guys & Dolls.” It was funny…maybe you had to be there.

Salad
Who is your favorite cartoon character?

Peggy Hill

Main Course
Tell about the funniest teacher you ever had.

Mr. Doyle…he was my science teacher in the 4th, 5th and 6th grades. I just adored him…everyone in my class did.

Dessert
Complete this sentence: I strongly believe that ______________________.

I strongly believe that what goes around, eventually does come back around…sometimes it takes a long time, but it does.

CU and I decided to flip over to CNBC last night at 8 PM to watch the Fast Money MBA Challenge, which pitts MBA students from “top business schools according to the 2007 U.S. News & World Report Top Business Schools ranking” (which incredibly, doesn’t include mine) against each other for cash! prizes!

I suspect they chose these particular schools not because of some arbitrary ranking, but because each team member will need their 1/4 of the $200k cash! prize! to pay off their student loans post-graduation. Actually, now that I think about it…that will probably only cover part of it.

All I can say is…what can you say about a show which starts off with the question, “Toucan Sam is the mascot for what product?” Doesn’t that seem a bit more suited for Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader? And yes, I got that one right.

The part of the show that tripped me up was the one I like to call “Name That Stock Symbol!” Unfortunately, I heard “Name That Airline Code!” and, despite living in the Dallas-Fort Worth metroplex and hearing the acronym AMR about 8 trazillion times a day, I still blurted out “AMERICAN AIRLINES!” when the host asked which company AA was. Turns out, it’s Alcoa. Go figure. Another symbol, I could swear was the airport code for New Orleans. You see, in my little world…sometimes I make up my own game show if the one I’m watching doesn’t suit my brain pattern at any given time. You know how it is.

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