So last night, I’m watching Dancing With the Stars and thinking to myself…Donny Osmond has turned into such an ass! Dude, we get the DWTS folks didn’t ask you to be on the show…we get that you’re milking your guest-host spots on Entertainment Tonight for all they’re worth (”Coming up next…I give you classified behind-the-scenes news! My sister has a lot of kids!”) and we get you’re a camera hog who can’t let his sister actually enjoy the spotlight.

Kind of makes you think he’s trying to fill seats for the “Osmonds! Live! No! Really! ‘08! Tour!” Going forward, just stay seated and try not to alienate any of the stars of Carpoolers who may be seated near you.

Clearly, there’s a writer’s strike going on, as now even Samantha Harris is writing her own jokes! “I know this is the point in the show where no one is listening to what I say…” Indeed! Now, I’m not a member of any Writer’s Guilds, but here’s what I would have had Bruno say had I been writing his lines last night:

• On Mel & Maksim’s paso doble: “Free your mind, and I will definitely follow!”
• On Jane & Tony’s quick step: “Walk the line? You CROSSED the line and showed us how to CASH in on your talents!
• On Jennie & Derek’s rhumba: “Jennie, if Valerie Malone could see you now!”

I thought the whole “Pawlidarity for Sabrina” campaign was a little odd - while sweet, if she hadn’t gone home, one of them would have. It’s easy to sport a paw on your pec when you’re still standing on the stage. Like I said, I will support the pawlidarity until the results from tonight’s show, then will switch themes…because by then Sabrina will be twice-removed and no one will care anymore.

As an aside…Sabrina and Mark are dating…this has been confirmed! OMG! I LOVE HIM! He’s my SOULMATE!

Just a little commentary on The Bachelor last night, as well…do you all remember…back in the day, when there was a chance the bachelorettes might decline the Fantasy Suite invitation, or at least hesitate a bit because, well, you don’t know where the bachelor’s junk has been in the last couple of days? No more…oh no, this is a new generation of women who won’t even read the card they want to bed the man so quickly. Eh, like any of these relationships are going to last.