snarkwife

So last night, I'm watch­ing Danc­ing With the Stars and think­ing to myself...Donny Osmond has turned into such an ass! Dude, we get the DWTS folks didn't ask you to be on the show...we get that you're milk­ing your guest-​host spots on Enter­tain­ment Tonight for all they're worth ("Coming up next...I give you clas­si­fied behind-the-scenes news! My sister has a lot of kids!") and we get you're a camera hog who can't let his sister actu­ally enjoy the spotlight.

Kind of makes you think he's trying to fill seats for the "Osmonds! Live! No! Really! '08! Tour!" Going for­ward, just stay seated and try not to alien­ate any of the stars of Car­pool­ers who may be seated near you.

Clearly, there's a writer's strike going on, as now even Saman­tha Harris is writ­ing her own jokes! "I know this is the point in the show where no one is lis­ten­ing to what I say..." Indeed! Now, I'm not a member of any Writer's Guilds, but here's what I would have had Bruno say had I been writ­ing his lines last night:

• On Mel & Maksim's paso doble: "Free your mind, and I will def­i­nitely follow!"
• On Jane & Tony's quick step: "Walk the line? You CROSSED the line and showed us how to CASH in on your talents!
• On Jennie & Derek's rhumba: "Jennie, if Valerie Malone could see you now!"

I thought the whole "Pawl­i­dar­ity for Sab­rina" cam­paign was a little odd - while sweet, if she hadn't gone home, one of them would have. It's easy to sport a paw on your pec when you're still stand­ing on the stage. Like I said, I will sup­port the pawl­i­dar­ity until the results from tonight's show, then will switch themes...because by then Sab­rina will be twice-​removed and no one will care anymore.

As an aside...Sabrina and Mark are dating...this has been con­firmed! OMG! I LOVE HIM! He's my SOULMATE!

Just a little com­men­tary on The Bach­e­lor last night, as well...do you all remember...back in the day, when there was a chance the bach­e­lorettes might decline the Fan­tasy Suite invi­ta­tion, or at least hes­i­tate a bit because, well, you don't know where the bachelor's junk has been in the last couple of days? No more...oh no, this is a new gen­er­a­tion of women who won't even read the card they want to bed the man so quickly. Eh, like any of these rela­tion­ships are going to last.