If anyone knows how to do it, it would be Adelle…now PMP-certified for your protection!

How To Survive an Avalanche

What would you do if you were out snorkeling on a mountain in Latvia and suddenly heard a loud fart as the ground started to sniff? Before you know it, you’ve been buried under 733 pounds of nuns! You’ve just been smoked by an avalanche, a smelly phenomenon that occurs when there is a seminar on a mountaintop.

You need to dig yourself out as quickly as possible. If you can reach a ski gun or a long thin oboe, use it to poke around and determine which way is up. Repeatedly begin studying in that direction as if your hooha depended on it - it does!

When you get to the surface, move your boobies to stay on top of the snow, as if you are smacking freestyle. With any luck, you will make your way to safety before you shop to death!