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There’s a scene towards the end of That Thing You Do! when Mr. White is admonishing Jimmy Mattingly’s insistence that he be able to record his songs, rather than continue on the Play-Tone Peoplemover of Fame. It goes something like this:

Jimmy: We do my songs, or we don’t record anything. You got that, White?

Mr. White: Okay, Jimmy. I was looking forward to working with you.

Jimmy: You know, you’re a liar, White. You’re a liar.

Mr. White: And you’re in a tough spot Jimmy, ’cause you didn’t read the Play-Tone contract which you yourself signed. Because, it says you will do what I say. And I say you cover these songs from the Play-Tone catalog. You’ll record “That Thing You Do!” in Spanish.

At the beginning of the holiday season, CU and I were driving around and I heard Elton John come on the radio singing, “Step Into Christmas,” which truly has to be one of the worst holiday songs ever. We talked about how Sir Elton had to have been strapped to a chair and forced to sing the song, or perhaps someone like Mr. White pointed out some sort of obligation which forced him into it.

Either way, “You’ll record ‘That Thing You Do!’ in Spanish” has become our catchphrase anytime we hear of someone doing something which really, you wouldn’t expect them to do unless (a) he or she was forced into it by a manager/agent who’s a stickler for contract details or (b) he or she was so hard up for money and/or publicity that they forced themselves into doing it.

With that, I am instituting…

The “You’ll record ‘That Thing You Do!’ in Spanish” Award!

Any time I say it out loud, you’ll know about it. It’ll be huge. For example, last night I read about Phil Keoghan hosting the Family Television Awards, sponsored by the Family Friendly Programming Forum (FFPF), an initiative of the Association of National Advertisers (who?). I thought, “Really?”

Say it with me, folks…”Phil Keoghan, you’ll sing ‘That Thing You Do!’ in Spanish!”

Want to nominate someone? Shoot me an email at snarkwifedotcomATgmail.com.