I will now read to you from The Dictionary of Corporate Bullshit’s 2008 page-a-day calendar…

holiday halo effect: The phenomenon occurring in the days (and often weeks) before and after the company’s observance of a holiday that renders employees virtually incapable of completing any work; the holiday halo effect is always followed by the postholiday clinical depression halo.

Allow me to elaborate…side effects may be experienced while suffering from the holiday halo effect, and may include the following:

• Uncontrollable need to turn on the interior and exterior holiday lights
• Gluttonously eating fifteen pieces of candy at one sitting because the holidays are over, but the candy is still around
• Uncomfortable bulging of the eyeballs, usually after looking at the number on the bathroom scale
• Paranoid loneliness, due to a spouse going back to work after a two-week vacation at home
• More serious cases of the holiday halo effect may experience a temporary loss of consciousness, caused by incoming holiday credit card bills

There is currently no cure for the holiday halo effect. You cannot stop it, you can only hope to contain it.

Little did CU and I know it when we got engaged nearly eight years ago, but picking a January wedding date gives us an excuse to take at least one day off in the weeks following aforementioned holiday halo effect period every year. Along those lines…little did we know that on January 2, 2001 we’d look at each other, blood draining from our faces, and say, “Holy crap! We’re getting married in three weeks!”

Ooh…that reminds me…I need to get cracking on an anniversary gift.