snarkwife dot com » Blog Archive » A Christian, a Jew, and a Muslim Walk Into a Bar…

“The Jew says to the Muslim — see, I have no idea what they say, because there’s a writers’ strike.” -Jay Leno

After the news buffer at 10 PM, we settled in to critique the Return of the Late Night TV Hosts. By far, Jay Leno was the winner in my book. His monologue was actually very funny, as opposed to David Letterman’s shtick, which should have just come with it’s own news crawl at the bottom with pro-writer, strike-related headlines.

Quite obviously, Letterman’s writing team struck a deal with the union devil because the entire show (or what we saw of it) seemed like nothing but a propaganda platform. After the first half-dozen “jokes” it really began to fall flat for us, so we switched back to Leno. I would have liked to see what Leno did with Emeril…but we went to sleep.

Last night actually provided a truckload of new television. We almost didn’t know what to do with ourselves and had to try to remember how to record two shows at once on the Tivo. We wound up taping Law & Order (which I swear, hasn’t been on in about two years) and Project Runway, then settled in to watch Wife Swap and Supernanny.

I joke that these two shows are the best free birth control method out there but the reality is, the parents are the ones who drive me the most insane. When you watch big-mouthed, closed-minded parents who seem to think their way of living and raising their children is the only way to go, it sort of makes me happy I don’t have children…because then I don’t have to deal with the idiot parents of their friends. Seriously.

Our favorite episode was the “very special” second episode of Supernanny, where Mom and Dad leave their 14 and 17-year old daughters home during the day to home-school themselves and raise their three little brothers at the same time. And when Mom and Dad cruise back into the house after their 12 hours away from the home, they criticize their daughters for not getting the house clean enough while they were gone. And then after about an hour at home, Mom starts whining about how she “can’t deal with it all” and summons Cinderella to tend to the younguns. Truly insane.

CU and I started this one running commentary several years ago, where we talk about the kids from various reality shows whom we’d like to adopt because (a) their parents truly behave like morons who need to have their parent card revoked and (b), “We have a spare bedroom.” After many years, that extra room has been occupied by the good intentions involving probably two dozen kids.

Oh - Celebrity Apprentice kicks off tonight, although I don’t know if anything can compare to the Apprentices of yesteryear.

Stacy, what did you think of the Paris Hilton/Britney Spears hybrid on “Wife Swap?” I don’t know who frightened me more, the child or the father.

I’m glad you asked about him…he completely creeped us out. Kids are - for better or worse - products of their parents. There was something about his obsession with his daughter’s pageants thought that just seemed…off.

(btw, I am working, but they took away my smoke breaks, so blog hop during that time now).

What did the Nanny end up doing with the self-center parents that should be booted to the curb?

I have to remember about the Cel. App. Never watched, but hubby’s a huge KISS fan so might just take a gander.

Writers — get the back to work please!!!

Well - they instituted a new schedule which gave the teenage girls a whopping 4 hours of uninterrupted time to do their schoolwork during the day. Mom and Dad hemmed and hawwed, but then reluctantly agreed that they needed to find a babysitter to watch the little ones while the girls were “in school.” Then she had everyone re-divvy up household chores, with the majority going to the parents so the girls could have some sort of a normal life in the evenings. That was the plan, anyway - these parents were clueless enough to where I’m sure as soon as the cameras stopped rolling, they went back to treating their daughters like indentured servants.

It was really sad…it was the girls who called in for help in the first place. I’m not sure why she didn’t recommend the girls get out of the house and actually go to school. These weren’t parents who were homeschooling their kids for religious reasons or anything…it was a convenient way to get free child care. Personally, I thought this was a CPS-worthy case.

I didn’t get to watch any last night, but did DVR Letterman. I also DVR’d Wifeswap. Tonight I plan on DVRing Celebrity Apprentice. I’ve been watching the PBS documantary “The War” that I recorded back in early November. It’s 7 episodes, each 2 to 2:30 in length. I have 3 episodes left to watch.

I would’ve liked to have seen them as well, but being on Pacific time, they don’t go on until 11:30 and I’m fast asleep by then. I suppose I could just DVR them, but that would’ve taken too much thought for someone that actually fell asleep by 9:30 last night:)

Since they all started out as comedians, you’d think they could hold their own…

Aw crap, I completely forgot about the late night shows starting up again. Damn.

And we just watched the recorded Wife Swap. Oh. Meh. Gawd. WTF? That insane ass-dad just didn’t even get how, well, insane he was. Unbelievable. Watching that show always makes me feel so much better about myself.

And hey, as the election coverage starts really heating up (and I start posting about it) just wanted to remind you that even tho’ we’re on different ’sides’ of the political spectrum, I still love ya’!

I found it disconcerting that the father was spray-tanning his daughter as she stood around in her skivvies. Also creepy how he commented on her beautiful body. This was more appropriate for “Intervention” than “Wife Swap.”

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