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Dolly Parton Postpones U.S. Tour Due To Back Injury

In related news…as a bit of an update, what My Awesome Doctor originally thought was bursitis is now suspected to be either a SI joint injury, or a pinched nerve in my spine. My lumbar MRI scheduled tomorrow afternoon should confirm or deny some other things, too.

I’m trying to figure out how to work the word “leak” into my back/hip issues…leaky water pipe, leaky sprinkler system, leaky power steering pump…leaky…spinal fluid?

Oh how I wish I could blame my back problems on too-big boobs. Seriously.

But, it ain’t all bad here at Casa de Snark…our leaky pipe has been capped off and a new one rerouted up through the attic, and we found tile for the kitchen floor this weekend! We also listened to a total dork (even in a post-Seth Cohen world, this guy was nerd with a capital N) yesterday at Steak ‘n Shake talk to some chick named Dorothy on his cell phone for about fifteen minutes IN A REALLY LOUD VOICE about how she needed to go to the doctor since she’s been sick for so long. Honestly…he repeated something resembling that phrase about thirty times during the course of the conversation.

Cohen then went on to tell her that if her a-hole of a father wouldn’t take her to the doctor (quote, endquote), if she could just wait until the end of the month he’d “front” her a hundred bucks to go to the doctor. I said to CU, “What, does she have rickets or something?” Cohen then said he’d write her a check. Heh. Sound like a Judge Judy episode waiting to happen?

But wait, there’s more! Over at the table behind CU, I saw…I guess he could best be described as an Indian McLovin, pull out a pristinely wrapped Trojan condom from his wallet, show his friend and then put it back into the wallet. I was dying. First off, who does that? Secondly, I was trying to figure out if the condom was for use with his lunch companion or some unsuspecting female high school sophomore. As if that weren’t enough, our server…Daunte…kicked off our meal by just walking up to our table and standing there, looking at us. Didn’t ask us if we wanted something to drink, or if we were ready to order, he just…stood there. It was like two animals, staring each other down. Whoever speaks first, loses.

I did not lose.