Since my old theme was beginning to give me a headache (Too! Many! Bright! Colors!) and I switched over to this kindler, gentler theme…I realized I missed posting my daily Dictionary of Corporate Bullshit calendar page. Plus, I received some email confirmation that someone other than me thought they were funny (heh).

If you ever want to see the archives, I’m also adding a category. So, enjoy!

Without further ado, I’ll catch you up on a couple from the last week I didn’t post…plus today’s.

Employee Assistance Program (EAP)

A company-sponsored support program reached from the comfort of your office or cube through an 800 number in order to access a trained counselor to bring you back from the brink of despair; short-term company financed-counseling that doesn’t really cut it when you’re feeling like you might have wasted your life in a soul-crushing company; however, will also help you adopt a pet.

glass ceiling

The concept that women or minorities in the workplace are unable to achieve high-ranking positions due to unacknowledged discrimination, which, despite recent lip service in our progressive age, is still pretty much true; the reason why women who do manage to rise to positions of considerable authority are more likely to be found in “female-friendly” disciplines, such as Human Resources, Marketing, and PR; those who make repeated efforts to break the glass ceiling may become women who behave like men.

I remember hitting this ceiling eight years ago. Even though I was clearly qualified and I was the only one who actually wanted the job, The Powers That Be (which included a woman who behaved like a man) passed me over for a programmer who didn’t want the job. Hitting that ceiling with the velocity at which I did knocked some sense into me. I saw the writing on the wall, and left the company within a month.

antidepressant

Medication that allows employees to continue to function in jobs that, until recently, caused crying jags and suicidal ideation and homicidal fantasies directed at multiple colleagues and bosses.