At lunch today I was watching The Hills (yeah, I know…hence the blog title) and realized how dramatically different my life was at 22 than Lauren’s life. For example…

• Lauren drives a brand spankin’ new BMW…I drove a highly oxidized 1985 Nissan 200SX with only three hubcaps.
• Lauren hung out at S Bar on her 22nd birthday. I think my friends and I went to TGI Friday’s.
• Lauren has a “sort of boyfriend, sort of friend” in Brody and they can’t seem to just call off the flirtation and move on. Okay, I kind of had that going on with me, too.
• When Lauren wants to talk to one of her friends from work, she can either text or call on her cell phone. I had to hide in a conference room on my break and use the phone in there.
• I bought most of my clothes at Ross. I don’t think that’s where Lauren shops.
• Lauren lives in the oh-so-sexy “Hillside Villas” (okay, they don’t really live there…), and I lived in the hood - which apparently, has been completely renovated. For the record, back in ‘95 when I lived there - I paid $480 a month with all the move-in specials.
• Lauren goes to sexy restaurants for dinner with friends. We usually went and got Taco Bell, then went back to someone’s house to watch The X Files.
• Lauren has to deal with an immature, whiny, pain-in-the-ass freak spreading rumors about her. I dodged that bullet. My guy friends had more class than that…and spent most of their time playing Doom, anyway.
• My sunglasses weren’t as big.

On an unrelated note or as I like to call it, “36 is really just the same old 36,” I started laughing uncontrollably this morning when applying my facial moisturizer. I looked at my jar of Olay Age Defying cream and thought…age defying? Really? As in, “Stop, age! I defy you to trample across my face!” I don’t know - the name and how fierce it sounded conjured up Justice League visions of Wonder Woman flying over to the Olay Headquarters (next to the Ponds Institute, but down the street from the Halls of Medicine) in her invisible airplane and strangling the life out of Age with her magic lasso.

And in even more unrelated news…bachelor overboard!

Yeah see, I think this is why I don’t blog as much during school anymore.