It’s almost Mother’s Day, and we know what that means…time to pander to all the moms out there by pointing out how much they “should” be getting paid.
I hate these articles, studies, analyses, whatever you want to call them. Want to know why? Because motherhood is a lifestyle choice. It is not a job.
As a comparison, I have two dogs…and have had them for 9 and 11 years, respectively. They are living creatures which require that I tend to their needs or they will die. Getting these dogs was a lifestyle choice. While I realize Poodle and Schnoozer will not be contributing to society, it is my responsibility to make sure I have raised them so they don’t annoy the crap out of everyone with their barking, or run around loose and bite people or defecate on other people’s lawns. Sadly, I wish more parents would raise their children with the same basic level of respect for others.
Having said that, I do not raise my fist in solidarity with other pet owners, demanding that some entity appreciate my sacrifices and pay me for my many pet owner-associated jobs which include pet food nutritionist, veterinarian, groomer, personal trainer, and behaviorist.
Think it’s different because you raise kids? Forget it. Again, having children is a lifestyle choice. And oh by the way…things such as paying the bills, grocery shopping, cleaning the house, etc. - those chores are not unique to the world of motherhood. I do all those things, and have since I moved out of my parents’ house. I also am the social director for my family, accountant, financial manager, tax preparer, nutritionist, laundress, and occasional high-end escort for my husband. That last one alone is worth $117,000 per year.
I would never dream of claiming that my husband (or society or…whomever…) should pay me $50k a year on top of what I already make in my full time job as compensation for the things I do around the house to fulfill my role as wife and living human being.
My husband mows the yard…I guess I should start paying him $30 a week for doing that?
My point is this…we all make lifestyle choices and with those choices come responsibilities and obligations. Not all responsibilities or obligations are (or should) be money-based. When you’re an adult, there are things you are expected to do…like cook, clean, pay your bills, make doctor’s appointments, go to the bank, etc. That’s just what you do. Doesn’t matter if you’re a mom, or a pet owner, whatever.
Our society took a serious wrong turn when it started placing monetary value on things which theoretically, we’re supposed to be doing for the good of society and from the goodness of our hearts - not for the financial value we think it represents and the personal accolades we think we deserve.
09/05/2008 at 11:13 am Permalink
You know Stacy, I was all ready to be pissed at you but your last paragraph summed it up nicely. I think by tacking a monetary value on motherhood, it makes those who choose to be a mother feel undervalued. I think also by saying that it should be thought of as a job does the same thing.
I’m not sure if what I think about it is very clear, but you game me something to think about at the least.
BTW, this is Amy from Psychobabble
09/05/2008 at 12:09 pm Permalink
Amen !!! My mother could be named Worst Mother on the Planet and no paycheck in the world as a “mom” would make her better than the devil himself … motherhood is a choice, even if it was a backseat romp choice …
Jos last blog post..Summer Shoe Pledge
09/05/2008 at 1:25 pm Permalink
No, I think the Worst Mother on the Planet award goes to Erik from Survivor’s mom. “Sociologist” must not have been on her list of associated professions.
Like how I worked TV into this post? LOL.
09/05/2008 at 3:02 pm Permalink
SERIOUSLY! Are we to believe that Erik is THAT slow?!?!?!? I mean I was ready to give him the Lief Garrett look-a-like benefit of the doubt but DANG that was painful to watch!!!! I wonder how many more tribal counsel ’shockers’ before Eliza’s eyes pop out!!! Sheesh…
11/05/2008 at 3:21 pm Permalink
I kind of never placed a vlaue on motherhood before I became one. Yes, out of suprise. I couldn’t have children said the doctors. No problem I was busy with my career and having too much fun. My husband and I were married for 10 years and then suprise.
That is when I learned patience (true patience) hard earned almost insufferable patience.
When you are a pet owner as we were for all of these 15 of 16 married years you still have as Stacy mentioned the responsibilities of pet ownership. And, yes it was a choice to have children and raise pets. However, in no way are they the same. Just look at the mom at the vet with the toddler or two and you will get a small 15 min peek at the alternative lifestyle. They are into every thing and rarely do they mind quite as easily as pets. They talk back, want to know why not and more frequently then pets are willing to take a punishment to do or say what they want.
“You want to use potty talk you can eat a bar of soap to wash out your mouth.” At first they scream and cry and swear they will never say poop or sing a poop themed song again (espically in public), but alas you go to pick up your son from an abrakadoodle class after school only to find him sitting at his own table because he was calling everyone a poopoo head.
Well, I’m rambling. I guess the long and short of it for me is that being a 24hour every day of the year mother is way, way harder than I would have ever, ever thought. You see you get to take them with you everywhere, to every bathroom trip in public & private, to every doctor appt, every shopping, dining and entertainmnet experience. You don’t just get to leave them at home with water and food. Although, it is often soooooo tempting. Yet overall it is worth it to wake up to your 5 year old son reading you a story then giving you a card and green (food colored) bath salts that he made and telling you that he loves you from the earth to the moon around the sun all the way to pluto and back again. Yea, it’s way better than wet dog kisses.
12/05/2008 at 6:23 pm Permalink
I agree that being a pet owner has been hard work and it takes a discipline that not all people have been willing to do, but I will have to agree that kids are a whole different animal, which is why I’ve chosen the dogs over the kids:)
You are correct, though, that I don’t think a value should be placed on people keeping their house clean and doing regular chores — everyone has to do them regardless of their “career.”