So, for those of you who watch The Bachelorette, do you treat the final episode like an episode of Lost, micro-analyzing every little detail? You know, like how if you take the first letter of all of the types of foods on each person’s dinner plate during the Final Dates, it ultimately spells out who the Last Man Standing is?

“Wow, Deanna’s dad is being a total tool to Jesse…that must mean Jesse wins.”

“Jason definitely got the better Final Date…wow, sharks!  She totally picks him, I can tell.”

“Holy crap!  Deanna got out of the limo first!  Wait, she’s going home?”

“Jesse picked the better ring.  As Samantha Jones said, ‘Wrong ring, wrong guy.’”

Going in last night, I was rooting for Jesse, but expected her to go for Jason.  I can’t precisely put my finger on the “why” of that, though.  Maybe I figured that Colorado lightning couldn’t possibly strike twice for The Bachelorette franchise. Maybe it’s because the Bachelor/Bachelorette never seems to pick the person I want him or her to pick (hmm…could that explain all the failed romances?).

I’ll mostly skip past the “meet the family” part of the show, because this isn’t a blow-by-blow recap…and because that entire event was all sorts of weird.  We had fist bumps (or whatever the Hell it’s called), 200-year old grandparents, an unmarried sister providing feedback on who would make the better husband (seriously?), and a married sister providing feedback which was actually useful (yay!).

And then…there was Dad.  Holy schnikes, he’s a tough nut to crack.  While I understand the concept of asking for someone’s hand in marriage may be de rigeur for his family, that isn’t necessarily the case in all families - so judge not, Papa Bear.  Capt. UberHusband didn’t ask for permission to marry me - but I sort of thought that concept generally went out the window once a woman was out of college and had procured things which defined her as an independent woman, like a car loan, a dog, a margarita machine…or 27 years of living.  Still, it is a nice gesture, but I do not believe it defines a man in terms of whether or not he’s a good man and/or suitable for marriage.  All clear?  Super.

I think I got a little hot under the collar with Deanna’s sister’s concerns about Jesse’s “lack of experience” because like Jesse, CU was 26 when he and I met.  Just because he wasn’t divorced and didn’t have a three-year old son…that doesn’t mean the guy is inexperienced, or that after his fair share of early and mid-20s carousing that he hasn’t seen all he wants to see and is ready to move on to the next phase of his life.  I know plenty of men who, well into their 30s, have “experience” but are in no way ready to get married.  One woman’s “experience”…well, is another woman’s “baggage”.

Bottom line…I’m thrilled she picked Jesse.  Watching the two of them last night reminded me of how CU and I were when we were first together, and when we got engaged.  There are people out there who will make you light up and glow when you see them.  Even after nine years of being with CU, fortunately I’m not jaded enough or “old and married” enough to not be able to remember the giggly part of new love and how awesome it can be when paired up with compatibility and friendship…and how if you treat it right, it gets better.  It’s obviously not the same…but it does get better and, in my opinion…a lot more fun.  And, really…isn’t that the point of all of this?  To have a good time and be happy?

Plus…they’ve set a date.  That’s huge.  CU and I were talking about buying plane tickets to the Caymans for next May, and slinking around the island to stalk the happy couple.  Seriously.  We’d have all sorts of advice to give them.  Maybe we could give Jeremy a call, and share a cab out to the DFW airport together.

Oh…before I wrap this up, how icky are Matt and his wittle monkey Shayne?  The whole Ameritrash Posh and Becks thing they’ve got going on makes my tummy rumble uncomfortably.  I never thought Matt was trying to get a green card…but now I’m thinking he may have done all this to get a SAG card.