Turns out, the Dallas Morning News is good for more than simply providing space for parents to blatantly dodge responsibility, yessireebob.  It will also provide a primer on how to call in sick!

My favorite?

Don’t give your supervisor all the gory details of your illness, pain and suffering. It smacks of exaggeration. Make the call short and to the point.

The only exception to this rule is if your name happens to be Ferris Bueller. The epilogue to this one is the story someone will tell you when he/she comes back after aforementioned illness. If they go into great detail about how they threw up all day, slept for nine hours, couldn’t eat anything except chicken broth…yadda, yadda, yadda…you can be pretty sure they were sitting at home, happy as a lark, watching The Price is Right.

One good thing about working from home is…I never get sick anymore. In the last 4+ years, I think I’ve only called in sick (as in, too sick to even sit upright to at least type)…maybe…twice? The job I had before this one though, we had that great thing called PTO time. Or rather, it’s great for HR and payroll administrators because without “sick time,” that’s one less thing to take care of and/or manage.

The other side of that though, is people won’t ever call in sick. I know I didn’t. I wanted to use my precious PTO time for fun things…like vacation. So, I’d go into work…sick as a dog. So did everyone else. I think that’s the only time your average “drug-free workplace” becomes a “drug haven.” You’re either hopped up on amphetamines decongestants or in an antihistimine-fueled fog. Ah, those were good days.

Back in college, a group of my friends decided to go up to Lake Tahoe for a few days over New Year’s. I was bad…I called in sick, even though I wasn’t sick. I was also a fan of the “leave a voicemail for your boss at 7 AM, so he/she knows you at least got up and tried to pull it together” tactic. You don’t call when he/she is actually in the office…that would be just…silly!

And…I have to mention this…Capt. UberHusband has never called in sick to work. Ever.

What about ya’ll? Any good “calling in sick” stories?