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Sometimes, the actions of people completely baffle me. Now, I expect a certain level of stupidity and moronicity (like that?) out of the Average Person, me included; but, oh my God, have I got a whopper of a story. And this time, it wasn’t What Would Snarkwife Do? It was, What Did Stacy Actually Do?

Ya’ll know I’m a stickler for service. I praise the good, but I will also let the complaints flow if I’ve received lousy service. I’m particularly astute to the art of customer service management since I finished my services marketing class…two hours ago. Heh.

So. I needed a pedicure. The last one I got was about a month ago, and with everything…well, that just fell off the list of Things To Do. I’ve been going to the same place down in Plano for ten years (and had the same pedicure chick for nine), but didn’t feel like making the 20-minute drive. Now of course, I’m kicking myself…but…coulda, woulda, shoulda.

Around here, you can’t turn around without bumping into at least three nail salons. They’re in every strip mall at every intersection, and I can think of…six nail places that are within a five-minute drive of my house. So, I take an early lunch and swing by one for a pedicure. I walk in and the place seems nice enough, except they don’t have their A/C turned on…just lots of fans running. Well, I need a pedicure, and don’t have time to go interviewing every nearby nail establishment today.

There are two people inside…an older, Vietnamese man and woman. The man is incredibly friendly, and tells me they can get to me “in a few minutes.” Cool. When he calls me over to the spa chair though…I don’t get him…I get Evil Nail Lady, who has one of those perma-scowls you only get when you’ve been frowning for the last thirty years. She sits down on her stool and doesn’t greet me…doesn’t even look at me, just grabs my left foot with the force of an American Gladiator and starts taking off my nail polish. This was a decision point for me. I could have just gotten up and left, but I stayed.

After taking off my polish, she proceeded to trim and file my toenails, all the while nearly breaking my toes in half. When I asked her to ease up on the force, she snapped, “It’s not that bad.” Um. Okay. Well, I still need a pedicure, and don’t have time to go interviewing every nearby nail establishment today…so I just decide to tough it out, but Evil Nail Lady will get no tip from me.

At about this point, another woman walks into the salon. Here’s how that conversation went:

Nice Lady: “Hi, I was in here about a week ago for a pedicure, and messed up one of my nails on the way out. Could I get it fixed?”
Evil Nail Lady: “You have to wait. I’m with customer.”
Nice Lady: “Okay, I can wait.”
Evil Nail Lady: “It’ll be at least an hour. I’m with customer.”
Nice Lady: “Okay, then can I make an appointment to come back later?”
Evil Nail Lady: “Maybe.”
Nice Lady: “Can I come back at 2?”
Evil Nail Lady: “Maybe. I don’t know how many customer we’ll have today.”
Nice Lady: “I guess I’ll just try to come back later.”

After this seemingly nice lady (come on, who hasn’t screwed up her toe nail polish?) left, Evil Nail Lady decided to take that opportunity to completely rip her to shreds. She was there a week ago, left no tip (really, you don’t say), had nerve to come back and ask her to fix polish…blah, blah, blah. Bitch, moan, bitch, moan….in front of me and two other customers.

“If she mess up nail, she can come back next day!” Ooh, this is getting good.

Then she continued her rant about how when Nice Lady came in, she was giving “all other customer” the impression that she did a bad job on the lady’s nails. Oh, for crying out loud. I looked Evil Nail Lady straight in the eye and said, “I’m a customer, and I didn’t interpret what she said that way at all. She probably screwed up her nail, and couldn’t come back until now. I’ve needed a pedicure for two weeks, but couldn’t make it in until now.”

“Yes, but your polish chip too…and you don’t ask to have it fixed!”

Then I realize…I’m arguing with a maniac, and there’s no point. Actually, it sort of reminded me of a few of my ethics debates in my research class. Sometimes you’re just kicking someone’s ass in a logical sense to the point where it just isn’t fun anymore. So, I endured my 60-second foot and leg massage, but after I paid and was on my way out I said the following:

“I am not leaving you a tip because you didn’t greet me, didn’t look at me, and generally did nothing other than give me a substandard pedicure. And oh by the way, it’s incredibly unprofessional to run down your customers in front of other customers. I won’t be back, and I’ll tell everyone I know not to come back.”

So for you local folks, it’s TD Nails on McDermott in Allen, just east of Alma Drive. Next to Curves. Don’t go there. Evil Nail Lady might try to eat you.

And no, she didn’t ruin my oogly-googly-I-kicked-my-finance-class’s-ass good mood. She did enough damage though, to send me straight to Sonic for lunch. As soon as I finish my fries, I’m calling Tip to Toe Nails and making an appointment to see Sandy in two weeks. Sandy loves me. I think she loves Capt. UberHusband more though…but that’s another story for another time.