Alternate title: We’ve seen everything good. We’ve seen the whole city! We went to a museum, we saw priceless works of art! We ate pancreas!

Capt. UberHusband is off to his conference team rah-rah meeting, so I have been left to my own devices for a few hours. First item on my agenda? Starbucks, of course. Sorry, Dunkin Donuts…I don’t really run on you. Maybe tomorrow I’ll walk out of the hotel, turn left instead of right and go visit Dunkin Donuts. We’ll see.

Anyhoo, holy schmoley…what a day we had yesterday. Being Sunday things got going a little later, but that gave us some time to hang out in the room, admire the view, and watch Open House NY. Fun show…made us feel very poor, not to mention shabbily dressed. Although the homes they featured were indeed beautiful…I did get rather queasy seeing homes about the size of ours selling for eight times as much. {gulp}

After that, we headed over to the Museum of Modern Art to view aforementioned priceless works of art. We also took the obligatory photo in front of Andy Warhol’s Campbell’s soup cans, observed the rather distressing works of Jackson Pollock, and admired more modernly provocative art…like a gray flannel suit hanging on a wall. Yeah.

After getting our fill of culture for the day, we headed up to Central Park and walked around for a bit. Me being me, I kept looking for a dead body. Sorry…like I keep saying…I watch a lot of Law & Order and again, it’s also generally some unsuspecting Boy Scout in pursuit of his Urban Mountaineering badge who stumbles across a naked woman buried beneath some leaves. But alas, there was to be nothing like that for us. Good thing, because it probably would have spooked the throngs of other walkers and ice skaters. Then again, maybe not. Manhattanites, you know.

After that we headed down Fifth Avenue. We ducked into the Apple Store to warm up a bit and look for a new case for my dilapidated first-gen iPhone. When I flagged down an employee and asked where those cases were he replied, “Back there, in the corner.” In the corner. That’s code for, “Upgrade your iPhone silly girl, so you can have full GPS, the unprecedented speed of AT&T’s 3G network, and an uncomfortable feeling in your gut when you drop $400 less for the new phone than you did the original.” I didn’t buy anything.

Then, we went to Bendel’s. Okay…Bendel’s wasn’t anything like I expected. Maybe I watch too much Gossip Girl, but I figured our visit would be akin to that scene in Pretty Woman when Julia Roberts walks into the store on Rodeo Drive. The snoity saleslady takes one look at her and says, “I don’t think we have anything for you. You’re obviously in the wrong place. Please leave.” That didn’t happen, though. It was actually a very fun shop, and I’m heading back tomorrow or Wednesday to pick up a tree ornament. I do that…get an ornament every time I go someplace new. Our tree is a veritable travelogue all its own.

I got some great pictures yesterday but, intelligentista that I am, I forgot to bring my memory card reader on the trip so unless I want to go buy one from some store down in Times Square (hello, Dateline much?), the photos will need to wait until the end of the week. Then again, I’m here for four more days…I’ll see what I can do.

After our trek down Fifth, during which I did not drop my condom-filled bag all over the sidewalk only to be rescued by Chris Noth…we came back to the hotel and drank for the next two hours. It actually was a lot of fun. Gordon Ramsay’s sommelier was tending bar for a bit, and he was great. He was also lousy at figuring out how to create the right amount of cocktail, so we wound up drinking about 40% more than I’m sure management would have preferred. Go us!

Then. Then we went to see Spamalot. Oh my God, that was one of the funniest shows I’ve ever seen. I take that back…it was the funniest show I’ve ever seen. I didn’t realize the Shubert Theater was going to be as small as it was, which made it all the better. We paid good money for good seats a couple of months back…since the show was my birthday present. It did not disappoint. I’d say I highly recommend it, but it’s closing in January so if you’re still interested…hop to it.

Then. Then we started back towards the hotel, so we could meet up with CU’s colleagues for post-show drinks WHEN WHAT TO OUR WANDERING EYES SHOULD APPEAR…but the FREAKING FINAL SHOW EVER OF TRLTAPING LIVE IN TIMES SQUARE and about 30,000 reindeer. Yeah, talk about accidental tourist. It was insane down there…kind of like being in Isla Vista during Halloween back in the olden days. Clearly I’m no longer in TRL’s demographic…which is why we had no collective idea we were literally, walking straight into a hornet’s nest. Which…could be why the show’s going off the air…do kids still watch MTV anymore?

Anyway, we ultimately made it to bed just shy of midnight…which is the latest this girl’s been up in a long time. Geez, and that was just the first day here.

On tap for today…finishing this blog post, then I’m heading over to Sixth Avenue and walking south. Going to check out a little bit of this, a little bit of that, and then meet up with CU around noon for lunch. He’s free this afternoon, so I think we’re going to take in the view at the Top of the Rock (Empire State Building…meh) and maybe do the NBC Studio Tour. Oh, speaking of NBC and Rockefeller Center…apparently the folks at Today found out I was coming to down, and immediately left. Well, that’s a fine how-do-you-do. Oh well. Maybe I can go stalk Kathie Lee Gifford or at the very least, enlist Hoda Kotb’s assistance.