An odd chain of events has unfolded over the last week or so. First a study was released which alluded to a vague relationship between Facebook and college students having less than 3.5 GPAs. Then I read another article about how Twitter has the propensity to ruin relationships, because gee…if you’re busy tweeting (twittering?) and for that matter – Facebooking – then clearly you’re not actively engaging in a relationship. Ironic note…I had to log into Facebook to get the link to the article, but I immediately logged back out. Just wanted to make that clear…ahem.

Then, there was this bullshit “race” between CNN and Ashton Kutcher over who could get to a million Twitter sheep followers first. As if that weren’t bad enough, Oprah Winfrey STARTED TWITTERYELLING ON FRIDAY and as the proverbial cherry on the sundae, Barbara Walters posted her first Twitter update today. Turn out the lights, folks…I think the party’s over.

I told Adelle (who hasn’t blogged in three months) on Friday (on Twitter, see aforementioned blog comment) that I thought Oprah was about a year behind the curve, and her presence was a clear indication we early adopters needed to jump ship and find something else interesting to do. Then I stopped and thought about how much time I spend every day on the Internet. In my defense, for 4 1/2 years I had a job which required that I be connected to the Internet constantly. If I didn’t have to be on constant alert for URGENT!!11!!!!! emails or instant messages, I had to monitor some operational crap to ensure our customers maintained their marginal-to-poor levels of satisfaction. That sense of perma-urgency has kept me chained to the Internet for the last six months even though I quit the job six months ago. Sure, I had school…but that was for only 12 weeks.

The most embarrassing moment though, was when I realized on Saturday how often lately I have been saying, “Sorry honey, can you say that again?” to Capt. UberHusband – generally while I was staring at my iPhone performing some inane task which clearly had no business trumping whatever he was trying to communicate to me. Seriously, it was embarrassing. I felt like I was becoming an episode of Dr. Phil…Wives Who Can’t Unplug!

Clearly, the Internet is a wonderful tool and like anything else, is beneficial in moderation. But I personally reached that point where enough was enough. I had an e-breakdown over the weekend, and called it quits with both Twitter and Facebook. Is it permanent? Probably not, but I did need to seriously re-evaluate how I spend my time. While it was great to get reacquainted with folks from high school and college…honestly, do any of them actually like me enough to come over here and read my blog…or are they only interested in little snippets of information I toss their direction on Facebook four times a day? Do they want to “socialize” with me, or with micro-me?

The truly ironic thing…for all of the education I’ve been acquiring over the past two years, I sure have been doing a good job of truncating my thoughts. Maybe that post I wrote the other day was ongoing evidence of my distaste for what I will call the Executive Summarizing of America. Why drill down to the details if you don’t have to? Because…that’s where the meaningful information is.

So…let it be known that today, April 20, 2009…five years and one day after starting this blog, I vow to expand my horizons. Join me and retreat from the land of 140-character status updates and quizzes about Which OPI Nail Polish You Are and come back to the blogosphere. I dare you.

Make “blog” the new black.