While on my walk this morning, I encountered some Earth Day propaganda in the form of sidewalk-chalk pleas that I (and for that matter, anyone who walked in front of that house) reduce, reuse, and recycle. I also was advised to “b green” and “b aware”.

O-kay.

I enjoy Earth Day…it’s kind of like Easter and Memorial Day. On Easter, Christians who normally wouldn’t go to church oftentimes go to church. Memorial Day is one of very few days a year when everyone supports the troops, which is interesting…since the holiday actually honors the dead. On Earth Day, everyone is eco-relevant and enviro-savvy. If for just one day, we can all hold hands and float so high on the fluffiness of our own eco-egos that we leave no footprints whatsoever…carbon or otherwise.

While I understand that children are our future, and we’re supposed to teach them well and let them lead the way…it took a lot of restraint for me to not go up to the front door of the house and ask Mom what kind of chalk her kids used to spread their eco-gospel. I have a funny feeling said chalk wouldn’t be very enviro-friendly to our area’s flora and fauna once mixed with water and disposed down the City of Allen’s drainage system.

But, I didn’t want to get all wound up because that involves inhaling and exhaling and I wasn’t in the mood to destroy the environment on Earth Day. Instead, I hopped into my Jeep Grand Cherokee (14 MPG!) and drove to three different Targets looking for a very specific fitness bra.

In taking a look around the EPA’s Earth Day web page, I saw where I was supposed to pick five things I could commit to to help the environment. Let’s see…

1. Use less water! “Take baths instead of showers.” Turns out, there’s nothing between our bathtub and the foundation…so bath water stays warm for about fifteen seconds. I think I’ve only taken half a dozen baths in our house in the nearly eight years we’ve lived here. DONE.

2. Commute without polluting! I’ll do you one better…I just won’t commute, period. DONE…five years ago.

3. Save electricity! I don’t need both TVs and both computers on during the day, do I? DONE.

4. Use chemicals safely. I’ve totally cut back on just cavalierly pouring Drano down the drain. DONE.

5. Spread the word! DONE.