My MBA program finishes up today. This is great news. Why, you ask?

First off, despite recent evidence to the contrary, it shows that if you publicly declare a goal…you’re more likely to keep it. Secondly though…and more importantly…I’ll finally have time to…

*Blog my way through Julia Child’s Mastering the Art of French Cooking. I have been waiting years to finally…what? {whispering in ear}. Oh. What about The Joy of Sex? Martha Stewart’s Homekeeping Handbook? The Huffington Post’s Guide to Blogging?

*Travel around the country to Starbucks stores which used to be open, but are now closed.

*Write a tell-all novel about my two years as an IT professional in the free-wheeling subprime mortgage industry circa 2003. You’d be amazed how easy it is to approve borrowers who have no business being approved with just a tiny, well-placed snippet of code.

*Work on getting 1,000,000 followers on Twitter. Shouldn’t be tough, once I get the porn spammers, network marketers, and Lost nerds on board.

*Plan and execute a violent coup against my HOA newsletter’s editor. She’s had it coming for nearly eight years.

*Become the 1950s-era housewife Capt. UberHusband never realized he never wanted. Our washing machine’s already on the blink, so the technology hurdle is partially crossed.

*Work on integrating my not-yet-patented “Cash for Clunkers” early retirement program into Fortune 500 businesses. If your manager gets less than 18 MPG and has been around for at least 25 years, he or she is eligible!

Oh, and the federal minimum wage goes up today…ka-ching! Just in time!