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The Twelve Days of Fafa
(sung to the tune of “The Twelve Days of Christmas”)

On the first day of Christmas, my Fafa gave to me…
a Fafa head, her name is Britney.

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They like me! They really like me!

So, I realized over the weekend that I am a much happier person when I’m blogging every day. I don’t know if it’s the active engagement with the Outside World (”I posted! Ping Blogrolling! Come on over and talk to me!”) aspect which pulls the happiness lever, or the opportunity to think about something other than work, school and home improvement projects.

But, it’s true…so…let’s talk, shall we?

I’m playing in a Fafarazzi TV league for Dancing With the Stars, and have had the same “team” of three couples since the show began…Mel B, Helio, and Sabrina. I briefly thought about replacing Mel B with Marie yesterday afternoon, but really, how was I supposed to know Jennie Garth could overcome Her Professional Partner, Gumby, and pull off a fantastic tango? Kelly Taylor…coke addict, cult member, rape victim, shooting victim, sexually harassed employee, boutique owner, Alpha Omega girl…ballroom dancer? Will wonders ever cease?

Anyone else besides me want Donny Osmond on DWTS next season? Anyone else besides me want to take all of Cheryl Burke’s trophies away from her, because she’s being such a snit? You can’t be a champion every season, girlfriend.

Oh…and let’s talk about Wayne “Don’t Call Me Steven Seagal” Newton. Eww. Seriously…eww. I think Mama Snark said it best last night, “He should have stopped after the first face lift.”

And…thanks Mark Cuban, for finally learning to not sing along with the music while you dance.

It just keeps getting better over there at Fafarazzi!

Oh, and…

Ya’ll seen this? Reminds me of beloved posts about Miss South Kellylina from yesteryear…and was it just me or did she say something about Osama?

And thanks Mario, for showing what you can do post-Dancing With The Stars.

CU and I decided to flip over to CNBC last night at 8 PM to watch the Fast Money MBA Challenge, which pitts MBA students from “top business schools according to the 2007 U.S. News & World Report Top Business Schools ranking” (which incredibly, doesn’t include mine) against each other for cash! prizes!

I suspect they chose these particular schools not because of some arbitrary ranking, but because each team member will need their 1/4 of the $200k cash! prize! to pay off their student loans post-graduation. Actually, now that I think about it…that will probably only cover part of it.

All I can say is…what can you say about a show which starts off with the question, “Toucan Sam is the mascot for what product?” Doesn’t that seem a bit more suited for Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader? And yes, I got that one right.

The part of the show that tripped me up was the one I like to call “Name That Stock Symbol!” Unfortunately, I heard “Name That Airline Code!” and, despite living in the Dallas-Fort Worth metroplex and hearing the acronym AMR about 8 trazillion times a day, I still blurted out “AMERICAN AIRLINES!” when the host asked which company AA was. Turns out, it’s Alcoa. Go figure. Another symbol, I could swear was the airport code for New Orleans. You see, in my little world…sometimes I make up my own game show if the one I’m watching doesn’t suit my brain pattern at any given time. You know how it is.

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Last February, Todd from Fafarazzi sent me an email asking if I’d like to be a contributing writer to the Fafa Blog (watch out…Fight Girls video alert!). Of course, I responded with gushing enthusiasm…posted once and then…stopped. I was so embarrassed. Crap was going on with work, it was still winter…I was suffering from personal blahs…eh. You know how it is.

So the other day I emailed Todd again with my tail between my legs, apologizing for being so flaky (those of you who know me know I am anything but flaky) and asking if I could still write. He responded in the affirmative and now I’m sitting here, trying to come up with appropriate column content, based on his suggestions and advice.

The ironic thing was, he mentioned writing about how to successfully win Fafarazzi leagues, which literally made me laugh out loud as I am in sixth and eighth places in my current leagues. Yeah, I can tell you how to win. It was a lot easier for me to win back in the day, under Fafarazzi’s old scoring. Back then I could just wait to see what big news hit the net at 10 PM (Sandra Oh’s getting divorced!), then swoop in and add the celeb to my team before the big scoring hit the next day. Now…well, I’m still figuring out my strategy and results have been mixed, to put it optimistically.

I’m kind of grooving on “Staying Out Of Last Place The Snarkwife Way” as a column title. “Winning Fafa Leagues The Snarkwife Way” seems a bit…presumptuous.