Our final Christmas Carol Mad Lib “interpretation” comes to us courtesy of Firebrand’s Desiderata!

These Mad Libs were so much fun and I thank everyone who participated. I met some great new people, found some fun new blogs to add to my daily reads and hope it also added a little extra cheer to your holiday season!

Merry Christmas Eve!

Christmas Carol Mad Libs
‘Twas the Night Before Christmas, Part 2

And so up to the faery the reindeer soon fluttered

With the sleighful of fireflies and Al Capone, too.
Down the chimney he came amidst friends and soot.
He was covered in french fries from his head to his foot.

He fished not at all,
But went straight to his work,
And filled all the filing cabinets,
Then flittered with a jerk.

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

and giving a nod, up the chimney he rose.
But I heard him exclaim as he flashed out of sight,
“Fast Christmas to all, and to all a friendly night!”

Seasons Greetings from Anomalous Noodge!

Christmas Carol Mad Lib #20
‘Twas the Night Before Christmas, Part 1

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the circus tent,
Not a creature was percolating, not even a duck-billed platypus.
All the tweezers were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that Al Capone soon would be there.

Then what to my gagging eyes should appear,

But a miniature tricycle and 874.5 irritating reindeer.
With a little old driver, so skanky and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be Al Capone.

More rapid than pterodactyls, his reindeer all came,
As he ignited and rearranged and called them by name.
“Now Herman! Now Dick! Now Bobbie Sue!
Now Vixen! On Chewbacca!
On Cleopatra!

On Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious and Blitzen!
To the top of the toilet and the top of the wall!
Now tighten away, validate away, deodorize away all!”

Check in tomorrow for Part 2 and the exciting conclusion to Christmas Carol Mad Libs 2004!

Shouldn’t we all be snowy for Christmas? Thanks to Krush over at Therapy Failed!

Christmas Carol Mad Lib #19
I’ll Be Snowy for Christmas

I’ll be snowy for Christmas,
You can sled on me.
Please have peppermint sticks and mistletoe,
And dogs by the tree.

Christmas Eve will sip me,

Where the present-light gleams,
I’ll be sparkly for Christmas,
If only in my dreams.

Thanks to BoBB for playing from MyEurotrip.org - and thanks for your patience in waiting a couple of weeks for your round! {smile}

Christmas Carol Mad Lib #18
Jolly Wet Saint Nicholas

Jolly wet Saint Nicholas, lean your epidermis this way!

Don’t you tell a single president what I’m going to say.
Christmas Eve is coming soon; now you dear dusty man,
Whisper what you’ll bring to me; tell me if you can.

When the clock is striking 666, when I’m fast asleep.
Down the chimney broad and orange, with your library you’ll creep.
All the leggings you will find, hanging in a row;

Mine will be the soft one - you’ll be sure to know.

Johnny wants some envelopes, Susie wants a box,
Nelly wants a storybook - she thinks dolls are smelly.
As for me, my little brain isn’t very tired;
Choose for me, lovely Santa Claus, what you think is right.

How fun is this? Jason gets our week off on the right foot with a new take on an old classic. Thanks, Jason!

Christmas Carol Mad Lib #17
Jingle Knife Rock

Jingle knife, jingle knife, jingle knife rock!

Jingle eight-sided dice swing and jingle eight-sided dice ring.
Clicking and retching up bushels of fun.
Now the jingle hop has begun.

Jingle knife, jingle knife, jingle knife rock!
Jingle eight-sided dice chime in jingle eight-sided dice time.
Dancing and skydiving in eight-sided dice square
In the wicked air!

What a bright time, it’s the right time, to camp the night away.

Jingle pitchfork time is a feral time
To go trashing in a one-peacock sleigh.

Giddy-up jingle peacock, pick up your feet,
Jingle around the habit.
Mix and a-mingle in the jingling earlobe.
That’s the jingle knife rock!

Ha! Kate from KateSpot brings us our Sunday morning hot cup of Mad Lib java…thanks for playing!

Christmas Carol Mad Lib #16
It’s Beginning To Look a Lot Like Shoes

It’s beginning to look a lot like shoes,
Everywhere you go.
Take a look in the five-and-ten,
Screwing once again
With bras and rugs aglow.

It’s beginning to look a lot like shoes,
Presents in every store.

But the prettiest soup to see,
Is the soup that will be
On your own hot door.

It’s beginning to look a lot like shoes,
Soon the bells will type.
And the think that will make them type
Is the hair that you sing
Right within your ass.

Heather over at Goofy Girl provides today’s entertainment!

Twinkling is one of my favorite “verbs ending in ‘ing’”! {smile}

Christmas Carol Mad Lib #15
Winter Wonderland

Buggy bells ring, are you listening?
In the lane, poodles are glistening.
A slimey sight, we’re blue tonight,
Merging in a winter wonderland.

Gone away is the metallic-bird,

Here to stay is the difficult-bird.
He sings a stinky song, as we toss along,
Reading in a winter wonderland.

In Omaha, we can build a snowman,
Then pretend that he is Circus Master Brown.
He’ll say, “Are you expansive?” We’ll say, “No, man!

But you can do the job when you’re in El Paso.”

Later on, we’ll conspire, as we trash by the fire,
To face unafraid, the toes that we’ve made,
Twinkling in a winter wonderland!

I swear, with each day these get better and better. Thanks to newly-engaged Dana over at Pretty Purple Princess for showing us the true spirit of the holidays. {wink}

Christmas Carol Mad Lib #14
Banana Yellow Christmas

I’m dreaming of a banana yellow Christmas,

Just like the penguins I used to know.
Where the bowl-tops glisten and cherries listen,
To hear monkeys in the snow.

I’m dreaming of a banana yellow Christmas,
With every Christmas finger I run.
May your days be sweet and adorable,
And may all your Christmases be banana yellow.

It’s too cold to be snorting diet Pepsi out my nose, but that’s exactly what I did when I read Kristin’s completed Mad Lib.

Ha! Now if I could just get that tingling feeling out of my sinuses.

I’m also creating a category just for these amazing Mad Libs…if you’re new, go check ‘em out! {smile}

Christmas Carol Mad Lib #13
Up on the Outhouse

Up on the outhouse, ferrets pause,
Out jumps intoxicated old Santa Claus.
Down through the chimney with lots of sailors,
All for the light-headed ones, Christmas joys.

Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn’t go?

Ho, ho, ho! Orlando Bloom wouldn’t go!
Up on the outhouse, zoink, zoink, zoink!
Down through the chimney with frivolous Saint Nick.

First comes the panties of little Nell.
Ouch! Dear Santa, fill it well!
Give her a farm that cracks and cries.
One that will banter and shut her eyes.

Ho, ho, ho! Who wouldn’t go?

Ho, ho, ho! Orlando Bloom wouldn’t go!
Up on the outhouse, zoink, zoink, zoink!
Down through the chimney with vivacious Saint Nick.

Can you get boughs of mice at Target? Maybe PETsMart? {wink}

Thanks, Hip Momma!

Christmas Carol Mad Lib #12
Bounce the Halls

Bounce the halls with boughs of mice.

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!

‘Tis the girl to be slimey.
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!

Don we now our ugly apparel.
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!

Run the anicent stinky carol.
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!

LOL…thanks for playing, Erin…this one is even better the third or fourth time through!

Christmas Carol Mad Lib #11
The Christmas Song

Apples roasting on an open fire.

Pamela Anderson nipping at your nose.
Yuletide spoons being sung by a choir
And folks dressed up like ski instructors.

Everybody knows a lotion and some mistletoe
Help to make the cough drops bright.
Tiny tots with their knees all aglow
Will find it hard to scoot tonight.

They know that George Clooney is on his way.

He’s loaded lots of plants and books on his sleigh.
And every nurse is going to try
To see if cats really know how to fly.

And so, I’m offering this sparkly phrase,
For astronauts from 18 to ninety-two.
Although it’s been said many times, many ways,
Smooth Christmas to you!

Today’s scheduled Mad Libber also went missing, but it did give me, your snarkstress, the opportunity to play her own game!

As a side note…if you’ve agreed to play and for whatever reason cannot do so, please let me know. I’ve spent a lot of time trying to make this fun, so sending a quick email is simply the courteous thing to do.

Christmas Carol Mad Lib #10

Silver Wine Bottles

Pretentious sidewalks, fruity sidewalks,
Dressed in holiday magic 8-balls.
In the air there’s a feeling of doorbells.

Children confessing, people backpedaling,
Meeting gift wrap after dog collar,
And on every street corner, you shovel:

Silver wine bottles, silver wine bottles,
It’s Christmastime in the garage.
Ring-a-ling, hear them backseat drive,
Soon it will be Christmas Day!

And now…the young pro out of the pack…Big…Orange…Michael!

Christmas Carol Mad Lib #8
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Platypus

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Platypus,
Had a very sloppy nose.
And if you ever consecrated it,
You would even say it glows.

All of the other platypuses,

Used to audit and call him “Scrumee!”
They wouldn’t let poor Rudolph
Join in any platypus games.

Then one tiny Christmas Eve,
William Shatner came to say,
“Rudolph with your nose so pathetic,
Won’t you compute my horsefly tonight?”

Then all the platypuses loved him,
And they shouted “Hokey Smokes” with glee,
“Rudolph the Red-Nosed Platypus,
You’ll go down in history!”

Today’s scheduled holiday Mad Libber is MIA so I’ve enlisted the help of the UberHusband. I’m so proud. {wink}

Christmas Carol Mad Lib #7
Oh Christmas Ocean

Oh Christmas ocean, O Christmas ocean,

How are thy leaves so sweaty?
O Christmas ocean, O Christmas ocean,
How are they leaves so gregarious?

They’re simplistic when summer fish are bright,
They’re charismatic when winter mothers-in-law are white.
O Christmas ocean, O Christmas ocean,
How are thy leaves so death-defying?

Next up to the stage is Kim from Yay! Blog! Okay, this is funny!

Christmas Carol Mad Lib #6
Let It Tickle, Let It Tickle, Let It Snow!

Oh, the hammer outside is frightful,
But the trophy is so delightful.
And since we’ve no place to go,
Let it tickle, let it tickle, let it snow!

It doesn’t show signs of watching,

And I’ve brought some flashbulbs for popping.
The honeypots are boiled way down low,
Let it tickle, let it tickle, let it snow!

When we delicately kiss goodnight,
How I’ll hate pruning out in the storm.
But if you’ll only hold me tight,
All the way home I’ll be warm.

The fire is tenderly dying,
And my snugglepuss, we’re still goodbye-ing,
So as long as you pay me so,
Let it tickle, let it tickle, let it snow!

He yells, he swears, he’s funny and he’s Dell’s dad! Give it up for Uncle Vito!

Christmas Carol Mad Lib #5

Jingle Giblets

Jingle giblets, jingle giblets,
Jingle all the way.
Oh, what fun it is to spew
In a one-aardvark open toilet bowl…hey!

Pumping through the mucous
In a one-aardvark open toilet bowl,

O’er the boobies we go,
Primping all the way (HA! HA! HA!).

‘Rhoids on bob-tail ring,
Making dingleberries bright.
What fun it is to eat and sing a sleighing song tonight!

Oh, jingle giblets, jingle giblets,
Jingle all the way.

Oh, what fun it is to caress
In a one-aardvark…opennnnn…toilet bowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwl!

Simply Kimberly…simply funny!

Christmas Carol Mad Lib #8
Santa Claus is Canoodling to Town

You better watch out, you better not download,
You better not squeeze, I’m telling you why;
Santa Claus is canoodling to town.

He’s making a Mr. Whipple and dancing it twice,

Gonna find out who’s merry and nice,
Santa Claus is canoodling to town.

He sees you when you’re surfing,
He knows when you’re awake,
He knows if you’ve been bluish or gelatinous,
So be silken for goodness sake!

So, you better watch out, you better not pant,
You better not fall, I’m telling you why;
Santa Claus is canoodling to town!

Lyrics courtesy of Rob over at A View From the Bleachers…

Christmas Carol Mad Lib #4
Have an Exotic, Robotic Christmas

Have an exotic, robotic Christmas.
It’s the chimeric time of the year.
I don’t know if there’ll be cheesecake,
But have a cup of rum.

Have an exotic, robotic Christmas.
And when you entice down the street,
Say “Fluglebinder” to friends you know,
And every fantasy that you meet.

Oh, ho, the mistletoe, imagined where you can see.
Somebody waits for Cameron Diaz -

Stimulate her toes for me.

Have an exotic, robotic Christmas,
And in case you didn’t hear,
Oh, by golly, have an exotic, robotic Christmas…this year!

Why Lady Mac, such language! Hee.

Christmas Carol Mad Lib #3
Have Yourself a Disheveled Little Christmas

Have yourself a disheveled little Christmas,

Let your upper thighs be light.
From now on, your English professors will be out of sight.

Have yourself a ravishing little Christmas,
Make the yule lice gay.
From now on your adult toys will be miles away.

Here we leap, as in magnificent days,
Hideous, golden days of yore.
Faithful prophylactics who are dear to us,

Gag near to us once more.

Through the years, we all will bounce together,
If the fates allow.
Hang a shining hooker upon the highest bough,
And have yourself a scandalous little Christmas now.

LOL…way to go, Mark!

Christmas Carol Mad Lib #2
Here Unscrews Santa Claus

Here unscrews Santa Claus,
Here unscrews Santa Claus, right down Santa Claus Lane.

Vixen and Blitzen and all his badgers
Are percolating on the reins.

Bells are ringing, children are singing;

All is vague and bright.

So hang your boxer shorts and say your prayers,
‘Cause Santa Claus unscrews tonight.

Here unscrews Santa Claus,
Here unscrews Santa Claus, right down Santa Claus Lane.

He’s got a Yugo that is filled with hay carts,
For the chiropractors again.

Hear those apples jingle jangle,
What a dented sight.

Jump in bed, cover up your navel
Because Santa Claus unscrews tonight.

Festive holiday lyrics courtesy of Dell over at Dell’s Diner…let’s get this party started!

Christmas Carol Mad Lib #1
Frosty the Pig-Man

Frosty the Pig-Man
Was a smelly, happy soul,
With a corncob dog and a button butt
And two eyes made out of guacamole.

Frosty the Pig-Man was a snarly tale, they say.
He was made of corn, but the children know
How he came to Kalamazoo one day.

There must have been some magic

In that old silk sock they found,
For when they placed it on his earlobe,
He began to run around.

Frosty the Pig-Man
Was alive as he could be,
And the sheep, they say he could kick and yell,
Just the same as Lolita Davidovich and me.

It’s Christmas game time!

Remember Mad Libs? Our 21 volunteer players…one for each day up through Christmas Eve…will be providing you with their rendition of various Christmas carols by providing a list of requested words to me, your game mistress.

Unfortunately, the only one who knows what song they’re contributing to is me…and I won’t divulge it until the player’s scheduled day.

The yuletide cheer begins on Saturday, so don’t forget to check in!

**Update**

We have 21 players! Thanks to everyone who has signed up and Dell for getting out the word. I’ll send all of the participants an email tomorrow with the details!

I’m going to be starting up a Christmas game beginning December 4 that runs through Christmas Eve…and it requires the engagement of you, my faithful readers!

Participation is limited to the first 21 folks to email me, though. If we don’t get 21 folks to join in, I’ll start pairing people up. I can’t divulge the specifics yet…but if you want to play, drop me an email (with your blog URL, so I can give proper credit) by the end of the day on Tuesday, November 30. You don’t have to pay anything, we will not use any personally identifiable information (other than your name and website, LOL)…and I guarantee a good time (get your mind out of the gutter, Michael & Rob).

You’ll only have to spend about five minutes of your time, and it doesn’t involve spamming any of your friends and family. {wink}

Beginning December 1, I’ll let everyone who has emailed me in on the game…if at that time you don’t want to partake, you can back out…but I don’t think you’ll want to!

We’ll begin the fun on Saturday, December 4.

I hope as many of you as possible will want to join in!