You all know CU spent a year in Iraq. Prior to that Jim, one of his best friends, was “reactivated” but was fortunate enough to spend his tour someplace in Missouri - which in some circles is a fate worse than Iraq. Literally, about three days after Jim’s “tour” ended, Seth got his letter in the mail.

We used to joke that Jim was forced to hand over the names and addresses of known accomplices to keep the ranks strong. Then, we joked that his other Army buddy Leo was safe because so much time had passed since CU had gotten back. No way they could still be calling IRR guys up, right?

Well, this morning I found out Leo was called back up to active duty and has to report to Fort Jackson in May. Then he’s off to…who knows. Likely Iraq. To add insult to injury, he got the letter the day before he went to Maui with his girlfriend for a week. At least we found out on the back-end of a fun trip.

The really weird thing…Leo got out of the Army about the same time CU did, so he’s been off active duty…nine years? He’s got a gun-toting job with the US Government now though, so it isn’t like he hasn’t held a firearm in a decade. Odd thing though, we thought he’d had to resign his commission when he took his gun-toting job. Guess not.

I also guess it’s time for me to ask Leo what his favorite TV shows are, and to fire up the DVD ripper. That’s always my contribution to deployment…television shows.

Capt. UberHusband has now officially been home from Iraq for a year.

What does this mean, you ask? It means I can now erase “This time last year, while you were gone…” from my vocabulary.

This is good.

I’ve been thinking a lot about CU’s deployment today. First, when I was at the gym this morning…it brought back really strange, surreal memories of “this time last January.” This time last January, I was beginning my big project to lose ten pounds before he got home (I did it, and kept it all off…till my knee went out and then I sprained my toe and workouts weren’t gonna happen…anyhoo…) and was going to the gym every morning after he and I got off the phone.

This morning, I woke up alone, talked to CU and then went to the gym…I think the temperature was about the same as it was this time last year, too. Deja vu. When I was at the gym, a song started playing on my Shuffle that I listened to a lot when CU was gone. It’s a pretty inocuous song usually now, but with him not being here, and me being at the gym…and eating alone and sleeping alone…well, Snarkwife got a little melancholy. It was strange. I almost choked up at the gym…for no other reason except how much I was missing him this time last year unexpectedly punched me in the gut.

Then when I got home and CU called me from the St. Louis, then Atlanta airports…all was well again.

On top of all that, I have a couple of blog friends right now who are dancing the deployment dance with their husbands, and my heart just aches for them because I can both sympathize and empathize. I get all practical and clinical and pragmatic when I talk about it to (or with) them and always feel so funky about it all.

I never understood how military wives could make it a month, 3 months, 6 months or a year without their husbands…until I did it myself. The experience is liberating, and empowering…but it also alternates between 10 different kinds of sucky and 7 different kinds of miserable.

Then one day, you take a look at the calendar and you’re simply amazed it’s been nearly 22 months since you found out he was leaving. Time’s a strange, strange thing. The stranger (although not totally unsurprising) thing…it only took 21 months for the Army to process his 3 resignation requests. Ha!

And…now that he’s been back for 8 months…I guess that’s all I’m going to have to say on that.

Betty mentioned this last week, but the story finally popped up here locally.

Last July, a group of military wives banded together during Blogathon ‘06, and raised money for the Intrepid Heroes Fallen Fund. One of their projects was the Center for the Intrepid, a $50 million high-tech rehabilitation center at Brooke Army Medical Center in San Antonio.

Tomorrow, this center will open. For all of you out who pledged to our efforts last July, thank you so much, because your efforts and generosity helped immensely with this endeavor…and so many soldiers and their families will benefit from those efforts and generosity.

Although I’m no longer an active duty wife (and technically, no longer an Army wife at all, since CU received his honorable discharge papers in the mail Friday), the year I spent actively among military wives will always be one of the proudest times of my life, as I learned to appreciate the military life and the challenges and sacrifices that go along with it.

Once again, the Army needs to add one more parameter to it’s database search query:

WHERE soldier.status = ‘already involuntarily mobilized, so don’t threaten him/her with involuntary mobilization’

USCENTCOM has a unique opportunity to fill several command requirements for IMA positions and tours. These tours are located in beautiful Tampa, Florida – at the award-winning MacDill Air Force Base. A database search has indicated that as an IRR soldier, you are available for voluntary and involuntary mobilization and might be interested in one of these select assignments.

If you are interested in an IMA position or tours at USCENTCOM please respond to this email NLT 28 February. We seek to match military, as well as civilian skills in filling our positions.

Please keep in mind that as an IRR soldier, you can be involuntarily mobilized and sent to wherever the army has a need. Currently, that is primarily Iraq, Afghanistan, Kuwait, and Horn of Africa. Although many of you may wish to be deployed, some of you may prefer to perform duty in Tampa.

We provide first rate corporate housing in Tampa and full per diem.

If you are interested please contact MAJ McMajor as soon as possible.

Thank you.

Capt. UberHusband’s comments: “I want to write back and let her know that I am more than aware that I can be involuntarily mobilized, and I would be more than happy to leave Iraq to visit lovely award winning Tampa.”

Snarkwife’s Top Ten Ways She Knows It’s Been A Long Time Since She Blogged

10. She just found out today that a new version of WordPress was released 40 days ago.
9. The last time she blogged, she was enjoying her Christmas tree and now, she’s enjoying the blooming tulips and daffodils in her neighbor’s yard.
8. She’s totally used to writing 2006 on her checks.
7. She has started actually communicating with friends and family, instead of just saying, “Didn’t you see my blog post about that?”

6. She engages in snarky repartee with her dogs during Grey’s Anatomy and The O.C.
5. Spider solitaire has gotten soooooooooooooooo easy to win.
4. She can’t come up with a #4 for this list.
3. People don’t seem nearly as stupid when she doesn’t write about them all day long, and that can’t possibly be accurate.

2. Capt. UberHusband says he misses her blog posts.

And…the #1 way she knows it has been a long time since she’s blogged…

Her deployment countdown calendar is now at 85 days.

I remember back in my single days, people used to pester me about buying a house. I guess they thought a 27-year old woman shouldn’t be living in an apartment, throwing away her hard-earned cash on rent when she could be throwing it away on lawnmowers and air conditioning filters and homeowner’s insurance.

“You don’t need a husband to buy a house,” was an unsolicited comment I used to get a lot, which was funny. They were right, I didn’t need a husband…but I wanted one. Could I have afforded a mortgage? Probably, but geez, I didn’t want to take care of the maintenance and upkeep all by myself.

And now, here I am…maintaining and keeping up the house all by myself. Now to be fair, I’m not slaving away all day. I have someone who comes in and cleans every two weeks and someone who mows the yard but sheesh, that’s the easy stuff. The tougher things include washing the windows…and trimming trees and clearing out the weeds that thrive in hot Texas heat. Don’t forget about going to Lowe’s to buy a masonry bit so I can drill a hole in our brick exterior to mount a bracket and hang an American flag.

But on the flip side, I get to plant jasmine bushes out front and buy patio furniture and sip a glass of wine on my back deck after a tough day at work.

So, it’s all good.

From President Bush’s speech tonight:

Some Americans ask me, if completing the mission is so important, why don’t you send more troops? If our commanders on the ground say we need more troops, I will send them. But our commanders tell me they have the number of troops they need to do their job. Sending more Americans would undermine our strategy of encouraging Iraqis to take the lead in this fight.

Well then. Damn good thing we’re sending Capt. UberHusband over in two weeks. Don’t get me wrong, I support my husband and I support what he’s doing and his commitment to the U.S. Army.

However…it does irritate me to hear things like this. Of course, I could always do the glass-half-full thing and imagine the commanders, reclining back in their chairs after hearing Capt. UberHusband had been reactivated and saying…”Aha. That’s all we needed. Now we’re done.” {patriotic music swells in the background}

Time to go to bed. I’m sure I’ll be up early tomorrow.

Wow, the last three days sure did go by fast. Capt. UberHusband has departed the Big D and is heading to Fort Benning, Georgia where he’ll complete his training before heading over to Iraq.

And here I am…stuck at home…picking up the pieces. Literally. I didn’t realize how clean the house stayed with just one person in it until there was someone else around…LOL.

On that note, I’m going to clean up the house, watch a little Law & Order: Sport Utility Vehicle and try to keep Daisy from hiding under the bed.

Nothing of real significance happened except…Snarky started her blog!

I laugh when I look back at earlier posts, because they’re not very funny and you can really tell that I’m just starting out. I hadn’t found my niche yet. We all had to crawl before we walked though, right?

I’m working on a post highlighting some of my favorite posts over the past year…will have that up later today.

And…today’s mad libber is MIA. I’ve been trying to contact him/her for his/her list of words. If it’s you, you’ll know…I sent you an email telling you today was your day.

And oh yeah, this weekend was great. Had a superfantabulous time. I’m incredibly tired. Augusta is a 2-hour drive out of Atlanta so if you take the hour it takes to get to the airport, add on airport and flight time and a 2-hour drive…I was tired on Friday. Reverse it and you get yesterday…LOL.

But…the best news…Capt. UberHusband gets to come home Thursday night before heading to his final U.S. destination on Sunday for two weeks before heading over to the sandbox.

Yay! Happy Monday!

Well, Capt. UberHusband got his “orders” yesterday afternoon. I put “orders” in “quotation marks” because these “orders” could theoretically change at any time “per the needs of the Army” so, although we are preparing for this to be his official “assignment,” it won’t be “official” until he touches “ground”.

As expected, he’s going to Iraq. Fun. For twelve months. Good thing he’s lived through six Texas summers, eh?

I can’t say any more about it, because I think he’d have to kill me. Or, all of you. He can’t kill the weeds in our front yard, our lawn service already did that.

Sorry ’bout the post title, couldn’t come up with anything better that wouldn’t be schlocky, schmaltzy or schad. But let me tell you, I am going to create some kick ass care packages.

Alrighty.

Capt. UberHusband has been gone for nine days, and I successfully made it through the holiday weekend with my sanity intact courtesy of my mom, who is trekking back up to New York today.

I’m likening my experiences to that of my husband. He’s got his first two weeks of mobilization and in-processing and refresher training…and so do I. The only difference is, he’s reacquainting himself with weapons, formations and iffy food and I’m reacquainting myself with our sprinkler system, sleeping in the middle of the bed and cooking for one.

This week, Capt. UberHusband continues what is called Common Task Training. I too, will get back into the swing of things. I’ve had my week of sloth and my week of gluttony…now it’s back to the gym and back to the lower-carb lifestyle that honestly, does make me feel physically better.

Baby steps…that’s what everyone keeps telling me. Once CTT is complete, both Capt. UberHusband and I will go through refresher training for our Military Occupational Specialties for 2-3 weeks.

Mine will include, but will not be limited to:

• Advanced Lawn & Garden Care
• Basic Household Repair
• Walking The Dogs Twice A Day
• Tivo DVD Authoring
• Care Package Creation
• and recently added, Increased Communication With Spouse’s Civilian Employer

Phase three, of course, is deployment. We take what we’ve learned and head off to complete our mission.

Alrighty.

3So, I found something to do while Capt. UberHusband is off playing Army.

What a hook though…Army wife, husband has been deployed…looking to find her “inner strength” and try to win a million bucks along the way? It would be great…under my name in interviews it would say “Army Wife/Project Manager/Snark.”

Heh. You know, I think I could hack just about anything they could throw my way except for the eating challenges…I just can’t do those.

Stacy said @ 5:02 pm

My mom’s flying in today to hang out with me for the holiday weekend. I just couldn’t hack spending a 3-day weekend (believe it or not, they are different from my work days) on my own yet…you know how it is. I love seeing my mom but get a sneaking suspicion she’s more excited to see Cookie & Daisy…LOL.

And…Capt. UberHusband is “off” from around 2 p.m. today until Monday afternoon. Figures. We talked briefly about how I could have flown out and spent the weekend with him but, even if my mom wasn’t coming…I don’t think I could do another goodbye again…not yet.

Anyhoo, a few people have asked how Capt. UberHusband is doing, since he hasn’t updated his blog (”I haven’t had anything to talk about.”) in a few weeks. He said he was going to try to find internet access somewhere in the next couple of days and update everyone as to his goings-on and reintroduction to All Things Army.

He’s fine. He’s tired. After three days of “in-processing” (Army code for: shots, dental exams, payroll setup and other miscellaneous sitting around and waiting), they finally started their training and various classes yesterday…just in time for the 3-day weekend. Um…er…okay.

He says the toughest thing so far (other than getting up at ungodly hours of the very early morning) is that a couple of the guys in his barracks snore really loudly. We live in a home of silence at night. Cookie’s started to snore a bit in her advancing age, but she’s not a chainsawer. He says he’s met some great people, has seen some people he doesn’t want anywhere near a gun and is very happy he brought his iPod. The only other thing he wishes he’d brought was our little hand-held television since the one TV in the day room was commandeered for basketball games all week.

I’ve talked to him every day in the evenings and it sounds like he’s getting back into the groove of Army life. The tough part for me…I have no idea what that means. I’m accustomed to being in tune with every aspect of his life and this, this is all new to me and I can’t even guess as to what he’s experiencing.

Here’s the Ironic Thing Of The Week…a Captain from HRC in St. Louis called Thursday night and asked to talk to Capt. UberHusband. The first thing I thought was, “You don’t know he’s not here?” The Army isn’t omniscient although, you’d think they would be. Anyway, she wanted to talk to him about his commission resignation, which he mailed off the day after we got his orders; a sort of last-ditch attempt to avoid mobilization. We didn’t think it would work but hey, we were operating at a rather low frequency that first week.

I told her that Capt. UberHusband was at Fort Jackson, and had been for the last week. Didn’t she know that? “Oh, you mean he’s already been mobilized?” Envision me slapping the palm of my hand up against my forehead. Capt. Omniscient wanted to let us know that his commission was signed and could go into effect as soon as he was demobilized. Super. Thanks for calling.

Oh wait…the ironic part. Capt. Omniscient didn’t seem to know the current status of my husband, yet yesterday in the mail he got an invitation from the Veterans of Foreign Wars to join their esteemed ranks. Cripes people, the guy hasn’t even left the continental United States yet and you’re trying to get your claws into him? Thanks U.S. Army, for selling his soul to the mass-mail-marketing devil. The VFW knows he’s been mobilized, how come you don’t?

But, Mom’s plane lands in 3 1/2 hours so I’d better finish vacuuming and get myself into the shower.

I called Cingular yesterday afternoon and told them I was Capt. UberHusband and wanted to add my wife as an authorized user to her cell phone account.

Three times the customer service rep asked me what my name was.

“Capt. UberHusband.”

“No, not the name on the account…your name.”

“Capt. UberHusband. CAP-TAIN OOOOOOBERHUSBAND.”

I guess I sound girlier on the phone than I thought.

The third time she asked me what my name was, she actually called me ma’am to which I responded, “I’m not a ma’am. Now, is there a problem with adding my wife to this account?”

It took the rep an extraordinarily long time to complete the transaction and I felt a slight twinge of guilt. When I talked to Capt. UberHusband last night, I asked him to call Cingular and verify that the deed had been done. So much for being all edgy and tough.

The yokel at our local Cingular store told me at lunch that they can’t add authorized users at the stores and that I’d have to call Customer Service to take care of my request. I stopped short of asking Mr. Yokel if I was supposed to wave my power of attorney in front of the phone and have it magically appear in front of whomever I spoke with.

This is insane.

I turned around and left. I’ll just call them later and tell them I’m Capt. UberHusband. I tried to do things the “right” way but…Cingular…you have backed me into a corner and given me no choice.

Or…I could just have Capt. UberHusband call them during his 7 minutes of free time.

I watched Nick & Jessica’s Tour of Duty tonight and cried the whole time. Seeing all those soldiers in Iraq…the well wishes…it was so heartbreaking…

…listening to Jessica Simpson sing live.

I was completely and utterly broken up while she was singing “God Bless America”, but don’t think it was for the reasons she intended.

I called Cingular this morning, because the bill for my phone was supposed to cut about a week ago, but I still cannot see the bill online. I had some problems downloading ringtones last month and was told…when I called Cingular last month…to call back after May 19 and they’d apply the appropriate credits.

So, I get on the phone to call Cingular and am bluntly told that since I am not listed as an authorized user on the account (the account is under Capt. UberHusband’s name), they can’t help me with billing issues or pretty much anything else. They can answer “generic questions” (like what, “How do I make a call?”), but that’s about it.

I told Mr. Blunt that I called in last month and no one seemed to care that I was Mrs. Capt. UberHusband and not Capt. UberHusband to which he says…kid you not…”I don’t see any record that you called in last month. Would it be possible for Capt. UberHusband to call us?”

“Not really…he’s being mobilized and deployed and isn’t readily available.” Okay, so that wasn’t entirely true at this point but I was in a feisty mood. I’m not going to burden him with petty household crap like this. Besides, really now, what else are they going to ask Capt. UberHusband that I couldn’t answer? Social security number? Mother’s maiden name? Name of high school? Check…check…and check.

I continued with, “I have access to everything online. You’re telling me that you can’t initiate billing credits from me because you don’t really know who I am but…Cingular is A-OK with me doing whatever I need to do online…and actually paying the bill…not really knowing who I am.”

“Well, when you put it that way, yes.”

Nice.

It really isn’t that big of a deal…I was just in a mood. All I have to do is go down to the Cingular store with a copy of Capt. UberHusband’s orders and my power of attorney (yay us for doing that before he left) and the patience of Job since the folks at our local Cingular store aren’t the sharpest tools in the shed.

Bwa ha ha…I have a power of attorney…mwa ha ha…hee hee…

Well, Captain UberHusband is gone.

Having him leave was tough. Really tough. I hope you married ladies never have to deal with watching your husband leave and not knowing when you’ll see him next.

On an up note…the season finales of Desperate Housewives and Grey’s Anatomy are on tonight. Hey…the UberHusband’s gone…it’s not like my television left me or anything.

Geez…I don’t even need to write my San Antonio travelogue…CNN has done all the work for me.

And, here’s the Boudro’s guacamole I can’t shut up about:

There are always a few things we will always make time for when going to San Antonio. The first is the guacamole, which I’ve talked about for weeks. We had Boudro’s guacamole three times this trip. The other thing is the San Antonio River Tour. Sure, it’s touristy and kitschy but every time we do it, something new is added.

By far, the most entertaining part of the weekend was when we took the river tour. Our boatmaster, Juan, was a kick…as they all are. We had a full boat…as they all are, and four Hispanic (and very non-English speaking) riders were sitting right next to the UberHusband and me. Now, if they don’t speak English, that’s fine. We are in San Antonio and we understand it’s more North Mexico than South Texas.

However…

These people had zero consideration for anyone else on the boat. They were yapping VERY LOUDLY en español and getting up and standing up and moving around and taking pictures and generally being quite obnoxious. It’s a small boat. Lots of people. The four in question were not particularly small so obviously, when they got up, everyone noticed.

Now, I know how to say “shut up” and “sit down” in Spanish and considered saying just those things, until the one guy in the group lost his balance while moving around the moving boat and almost crushed the UberHusband. Not wanting to risk meeting the same fate and getting squished like a Boudro’s avocado, I bit my lip and thought, “This is going to make for such a great blog story.” Fortunately though, my intervention wasn’t necessary because Boatmaster Juan did the work for us. Again, much like CNN.

At one point Juan completely stopped the boat in the middle of the river and just stared at the group…hoping they’d notice the change in momentum. Nope. They just continued to talk and get up and take pictures and do their thing. Eventually, he pulled the boat over to edge, tied it up and went down to talk to Señor Motormouth.

Juan asked Señor Motormouth if he only spoke Spanish. Of course, he did. Juan only spoke English but tried to get the point across that they needed to quit getting up and moving around (including the “let your fingers do the walking” hand gesture) and quiet down so everyone else could enjoy the tour.

There were these two kids sitting next to me and their moms were across from us…and we were all dying. We were laughing so hard, but trying not to laugh too loud…and we all had tears running down our faces watching Juan try to handle these insolent dolts.

Juan’s stern reprimand worked…for about two minutes. Then, they were back to their oblivious ways. At the end of these tours, the boatmaster always makes a plea for tips and generally, we don’t give anything. This time though, Juan entertained us and we gave the guy five bucks because he sure did try and he gets extra points for managing to be funny and not a jackass around a group of difficult people.

Yay. Fun trip.

The only thing that sucks is now the official “countdown” has started. Up until two days ago, I had this wonderful weekend to look forward to and distract me from the fact that the UberHusband was going to leave just a few days after we got back.

Lots going on…a few things to finish up, a few more people to say goodbye to and then…there you have it.

Have you ever noticed, that time goes by really, really fast when you don’t want it to…then it crawls by at an excruciatingly slow pace when you do want it to go by quickly?

Ever since the UberHusband got his orders, the time has absolutely flown by. I’ve recently experienced probably the quickest five weeks of my life ever. When we got back from San Antonio on Tuesday, we decided we were both ready to just get on with this already…we’re ready for it to be Sunday morning. Although that might sound strange, this has been a rather strange process and, I’m actually relieved that we’re both emotionally and physically prepared enough to say goodbye. Maybe that’s why I had big crocodile tears rolling down my face when Sun and Jin were saying goodbye last night on Lost.

Everything is crossed off the lists, the UberHusband is getting sick of eating out at restaurants he won’t probably be able to go to for awhile and, well, it’s just time.

So of course, the time is creeping by. I love the UberHusband…and he loves me…but we’re tired of playing the waiting game. The sooner we get this started, the sooner it will be over with.

The upside to the slow pace though…it made our manicures and pedicures a little more enjoyable this morning. That’s right. The UberHusband is secure enough in his manhood to not only do alarmingly accurate Coby impressions, but get manicures and pedicures to boot. The ladies at my nail salon love him.

I know…it’s strange to have an entire weekday go by without a post from me.

Well, the UberHusband and I drove up to Fort Sill, OK today (left at 7:15 a.m. and got back…about five minutes ago) to take care of a bunch of administrative crap and show me around in case I ever need to be someplace Army-y.

Did you know that their PX sells Clinique? Had I know, I would have made a list…

All is well, though. I thought about blogging from the road with my slick new camera phone but couldn’t figure out how. Oh well.

See you all tomorrow!

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When I was in college, my boyfriend went to Europe with two of his friends for three months over the summer. This was back before email and instant messaging, and also when international long distance rates were something insane like $3.00 a minute. So, it was a really long three months.

To pass the time, I read…a lot. Unfortunately, what I read were Danielle Steel novels where the protagonist’s man always seemed to go overseas for one reason or another…and never came back, for one reason or another. In one of the books, the woman’s fiance died on the Titanic.

Three months of that will turn any rational young woman into a paranoid freak. It’s kind of the same thing that happened when we all had a dog die during our childhood…for some insane reason, the only movie on immediately afterward was either Where The Red Fern Grows or Old Yeller.

Understanding that my psyche has a tendency to be swept away, I have composed a Watchable Military Media Guide For The Next Eighteen Months:

Good Watchable Media:
1. Private Benjamin
2. Stripes
3. In The Army Now
4. An Officer and A Gentleman

5. North and South (Books 1 and 2)
6. Three Kings (don’t make me give up George)
7. Top Gun
8. A Few Good Men
9. Renaissance Man

10. Gomer Pyle reruns

Bad Watchable Media:
1. Pearl Harbor
2. We Were Soldiers
3. Legends Of The Fall
4. The entire third season of American Dreams

5. That episode of ER when Gallant comes back from Iraq and hooks up with Neela
6. Born On The Fourth Of July
7. From Here To Eternity
8. Black Hawk Down
9. The Deer Hunter

10. G.I. Jane (only because it was an awful movie in general…you shouldn’t watch it, either)

You know, it’s funny…telling people that you (or your husband) has been called to active duty during “war time” elicits some pretty strange responses. They vary from, “I don’t know what to say…good luck? I’m sorry? Kick some Iraqi ass?” to no response at all, just a scrunched up facial expression of shock and surprise. Kind of like how I imagine people would react if Britney Spears won an Academy Award.

My favorite so far though, has been, “Well, you knew what you were getting into when you married him,” from someone who emailed me directly…an obviously casual reader who doesn’t really understand that the UberHusband went off active duty six years ago, before we even met.

It’s not like my head was in the sand, though. I always knew way, way, way, way in the back of my mind that it was a possibility but sheesh…it was (is?) also a possibility that some national syndicate would (will?) pick me up and start paying me to write snark full-time.

Hint, hint.

I did a lot of Googling and web surfing yesterday, looking for resources for wives like me…wives whose husbands aren’t attached to a Reserve or National Guard unit, wives who don’t live near a base with a Family Support Group and other women who have experienced my myriad emotions thus far, wives whose husbands weren’t “really” in the Army when they met and most importantly…wives who had no clue on God’s green Earth that 9/11 would happen eight months after their wedding and turn their lives upside down 3 1/2 years later.

I came up empty. I’m not trying to be dramatic, but I like being in control. I like being able to look for information I need and having it at my fingertips. I’m a project manager for chrissakes, and a natural-born planner. We planned for Plan A - corporate relocation to Seattle. We planned for Plan B, our contingency plan, which was remaining in Dallas in case Seattle didn’t happen.

Plan C - husband is reactivated and deployed to God knows where. That…that we didn’t plan for. Now, I know all that gobbledeegook about making lemonade out of rotten cherries or something like that, and how everything happens for a reason…but still. Wah. Boo.

{deep, cleansing breath}

Time to pick myself up, dust myself off and get on board with Plan C…whatever it winds up being.

Anyhoo…I have got to catch up on my television viewing, lest this blog turn into an 18-month weepy pity fest. LOL. That’s my goal today…watch Desperate Housewives (and write corresponding haikus), watch Arrested Development and scan through a week’s worth of Dr. Phil episodes in between, you know, working and all.

Can’t forget about The Amazing Race tonight…maybe I’ll have a newfound appreciation for PODubya now. Nah. Doubt it.

/wink

So, the UberHusband and I had a superfantabulous weekend in Chicago, courtesy of the UberHusband’s many business travels over the past year. We ate, drank, took in the amazing weather and even bought some expensive footwear. When in Rome, as they say…

It was one of those weekends that you didn’t mind ending because not only were you dog-tired, but it already felt like the two days had lasted a lot longer than just two days.

Then we came home…as I was flipping through the mail I noticed one of those letters that looks like a Western Union mailgram…the letters that companies like to use to alert you to a really low APR on a new credit card or to refinance your mortgage.

Not this time. It was a real Western Union mailgram.

Yep, the United States Army has called the UberHusband…six years out of active duty…back up to active duty.

Son of a bitch.

Cpt. UberHusband was an officer in the Army until his active duty stint ended in May of 1999, bringing him to Dallas and two months after that, to me.

I was watching 60 Minutes tonight and they did a story on a couple Individual Ready Reserve officers who were called back up to active duty. They were whining, complaining…saying the clause that basically states officers are permanently on the Army’s proverbial blogroll unless they resign their commission was nothing more than a “back door draft.”

Bullpuckey, as my dad would say.

I know now, as I did five years ago, that Cpt. UberHusband could be called back up. His best friend was called back into active duty in December of 2003 to replace a unit that was sent to Iraq, so it’s not like we’ve been living in a bubble. I hope and pray that he doesn’t get called back up, but I absolutely will not ever go on national television and complain that the United States Army “deceived” my husband because…well, they didn’t.

My husband knew when he was commissioned, he knew while he was on active duty and he knows now that unless he resigns his commission, he could be reactivated. This is no big secret, folks.

For those who think that American soldiers being in Iraq is wrong…unwad your panties and relax. This isn’t a political rant…it’s a rant about sucking it up and accepting responsibility. Even if these people didn’t know the Super Secret Special Code on the Magic Form they signed indebted them to the good ‘ol U-S-of-A for potentially longer than eight years…they found out about it afterwards, so don’t show up 6 years after you incorrectly assumed your time had been served and claim ignorance.

Please.

I was barking my frustration at my husband regarding this topic just a few minutes ago as he was trying to get to his rental car at O’Hare…then the signal got all screwy. Damn. Rantus interruptus.