Good enough for me!

Ah yes, ’tis been many weeks since my last update. That was a bad day. I shouldn’t have blogged and the next day I regretted it…but I think it would have said more had I deleted the post. Recovery is what it is, and sometimes it just doesn’t meet expectations…even if you think you’ve set those expectations very low.

So here I am.  As of last Sunday I’ve added a 10K notch to my racing belt, and to say it’s been an interesting journey back from total inactivity would be an understatement.  I remember when I quit my job a year and a half ago (good grief, has it really been that long?) one of my goals was to figure out who I was.  When I left my job, I felt defeated. I felt weak. All of the things I loved about myself in my 20s were gone by my mid-30s. Questionable choices combined with fears instilled in me during childhood created this perfect storm that threatened my marriage and my sanity. Think I’m exaggerating, being overly dramatic?  Talk to Capt. UberHusband.

And then I found running. Then I got injured. I came back. Then I got injured again. Can someone please cut me a break?  I get that all good things in life are won after great struggle, but enough is enough!  Now though, at the end of this injury cycle…I’m feeling good. Things that are supposed to ache in fact ache, and things that shouldn’t be aching aren’t.  This is good.

It’s always easy to play Monday morning quarterback.  I spent four months trying to identify What I Did Wrong, and I’m no closer to an answer now than I was in January.  Instead of looking back and trying to figure out what I did wrong, I’m now thinking it’s actually easier to just take what you actually know and move forward. Having said that…what did I learn?

I Need to Lighten the Hell Up

I took running way too seriously, much in the same way I take other things in my life. I take pride in not being terribly competitive with others (tough to do at my pace anyway), but I was super-competitive with myself. I have  limits which can be pushed, but I don’t need to push them with brute force. I didn’t wear a watch on Sunday’s 10K, and had no idea what my time was until I was a couple hundred yards from the finish. Funny how not micromanaging my performance minute-by-minute, mile increment by mile increment, actually made for a more enjoyable race.

I Can Be Patient!  Well, Sort Of

Nothing will test your patience quicker than being at home, alone for the most part, on crutches. Capt. UberHusband was out of town for work the vast majority of the time after my stress fracture was first diagnosed. When he was home it was a Godsend…he was able to help me clean and shop, but I was on my own a lot.  It was winter. It was grey, cold, and depressing. We got between 5 and 9 inches of snow on three separate occasions. I have two dogs who, I swear, seemed to need to go outside every fifteen minutes…usually as soon as I’d just finished the 5-minute ordeal of transporting a meal from the kitchen to the living room. :)

I could list a hundred things that every day tested my patience with myself. I wasn’t terribly graceful with it at first…I’m used to being able to do things when I want to do them, the way I want to do them.  I’d like to think my fuse is a lot longer now than it was last year.

Things are starting to fall into place. I tried to force them into place a couple of years ago, and that didn’t work out. Things seem to work out for us if we’re patient. I don’t really like the whole fatalistic approach to life, but sometimes you just have to let things emerge and quit trying to micromanage your life.

Speaking of letting things just emerge…ahem…Capt. UberHusband and I were thisclose to selling the house, packing everything up, and moving to the Seattle area. It’s no big secret we’ve been thinking about it for a very long time (since 2004, to be exact) but it’s a big move and we needed to wait for the planets to align and for it to be The Right Time. We thought now was the right time, going so far as to get our house evaluated by a realtor.  We were ready to put the big For Sale sign in the ground in the next couple of weeks.

But…

I had this nagging feeling we shouldn’t be going. I should have been thrilled we’d made the official decision to move, because I sure was thrilled with the abstract idea of it.  Turns out that wasn’t the case. That nagging feeling got naggier, and the more I tried to ignore it and chalk it up to moving jitters, the more I realized the square peg just wasn’t going to fit into the round hole.  Turns out CU had the same nagging feeling, so we put the brakes on the move and are staying put.  I’m old and wise enough to know that my gut has never steered me wrong, and that this was more than just simple jitters.

So dat would be where we are right now. Also planning a trip up to NYC in a couple of weeks…and hoping the third time’s the charm and I can actually run in Central Park this time. The last two times I’ve headed up there I’ve been injured. I WILL OVERCOME!

After many, many weeks of waiting to be told officially that I can start running again (unofficially, I snuck in a few test runs)…my doctor gave me the go-ahead this morning.  I told him I was up to walking 3, 4, and 5 miles without any pain…just ancillary hip and adductor tightness which went away after post-walk stretching.  I started yoga several weeks ago and have gotten back into touch with my foam roller.  I’m pretty sure my stress fracture was caused by tight hips and adductors.  It makes sense, knowing what I know now about the physiology of pelvic stress fractures and my old training habits.

My doctor said again to let pain be my guide, but to not jump right back into running ten miles a day…or a week.  Some soreness is expected; after all, there are a lot of cobwebs to clear out. If I have pain though, I’m to immediately cease all running and fitness walking for two weeks.  If I’m good, I can ease back in.  If I’m not, then I go back to see him and…well…we won’t think about that.

So, hooray…right?

When I got back home from my appointment I was elated.  Like I said, I’ve run a little over the past couple weeks but I felt like I was sneaking around my doctor’s back, running without permission. It may sound silly, but I needed that official “OK” to check off that part of my recovery and move on.  After I changed clothes I did 15 minutes of warm-up stretching, and then headed out. The plan was to walk 3/4 of a mile, run/walk 1 1/2 miles, and then walk the last 3/4 of a mile. I’m sure people have varying opinions on whether or not that particular mix was a good idea , but I’ve become pretty attuned to what my body can and can’t do and what it will and won’t tolerate.

Of course, that plan was shot all to Hell when I got out on the road and I wound up run/walking pretty much the whole thing. I felt good, though. My former conditioning, that which it was, left quite a bit to be desired. I suspect it would have been a horrible run had I not been logging so many miles walking over the past month.

As I read this, I do realize it sounds like I’m…unhappy. Isn’t that odd?  When I finished up I stretched for another 20 minutes, drank a ton of water, logged my run into DailyMile and then thought…that’s it?  I’m not sure what I was expecting. FINALLY! After 3 1/2 months I can run without pain! Smiles! Butterflies! Puppies!

Honestly though…I was rather “meh” about it.  Before my injury my long run per-mile times weren’t a whole lot faster than the speed I’m currently walking.  I’ve developed a real love for walking over the last six weeks and interestingly…it was a huge deal to go for my first 5-mile run/walk last year, but I did pretty much the same thing last weekend and didn’t give it a second thought.

I really did not expect to feel such a…letdown today.  In retrospect, I sort-of wish I had just walked the whole thing…not because I wasn’t ready to run (I have no idea if I really am or not), but because I enjoy walking that much.  I was so itchy to get back into running and now that I can, it’s not as interesting as it was. I’ve been getting just as great of benefits out of walking, without nearly the impact on my body.

It would be great to talk to other people who’ve been off for a few months and hear what their foray back into running was like.  I have no idea if this sort of post-layoff ambivalence is expected, or if when all is said and done…I’m supposed to be walking those half-marathons instead of running them.

Ah yes…the updates are few and far between, but that’s good. No one wanted to hear the minutiae involved with a healing stress fracture.  Hell, half the time I’m pretty sure Capt. UberHusband wasn’t interested but alas, that is one of his legal obligations as Husband.

My last update was three weeks ago, so I’m halfway through the intermediate stage of my recovery…otherwise known as Purgatory. It isn’t awful, but it isn’t bliss.  I added a DailyMile badge over in the sidebar and as you can see, I’m making marked progress in my walking. I’m up to a good couple of miles before things start to get a little achy, but even then it isn’t the pain I had before. Achy is fine.  Sharp, stabby pain is not.

When I was on my walk today, I decided to throw caution to the wind and run for ten seconds. I know…slow down there, Tiger! As you would imagine, it was awkward. My form was weird, I was petrified more than two steps with the impact of 4x my body weight would cause me to collapse into a puddle on the side of the road. Hey, ain’t like it hasn’t happened before. But…it didn’t hurt and I think that little burst of energy can carry me at least three more weeks.

That’s the next update…three weeks, when I go back in to see Dr. McNutt. At that point I’m hoping I’ll get the “almost all-clear”, after which I will get a follow-up MRI to ensure the fracture has healed.  Once the MRI comes back clear, I’ll be ready to start up again. I won’t lie…I’m scared. The pain three months ago was excruciating, and the recovery wasn’t easy at times. Some folks who thought I was weird and odd for running in the first place now think I’m even weirder and more odd for giving it another shot.  I don’t know how to explain it, except running gave me a greater sense of personal satisfaction and accomplishment than my last three  jobs combined.

That’s pretty powerful (and rather sad, truthfully), and I will not give that up without a fight.

After Sunday’s woe-is-me post, I put on my big girl panties and went outside for a walk with Capt. UberHusband.  It was BEAUTIFUL outside…one of those fantastic March days which falls sometime between when the pear trees bloom and when they’re blown down by the first tornado of the season.

The walk was slow. Very slow. We’re talking 30-minute mile slow. I walked 1.31 miles, in honor of the half marathon I wasn’t running.  I felt great.

And then…then I got up Monday morning and it was like my entire left leg locked up in protest and said, “WTF?  You don’t use me for 2 months and then you just expect me to perform? Whatevs.”  As I kind of figured on Sunday…I had overdone it.  But, like I told my orthopedist yesterday, “It was sooooo nice outside!”

Speaking of which…I have been officially cleared to toss the crutches aside and walk. I’m supposed to walk as much as I can in terms of day-to-day activities, but I’m limited to 20-minute “fitness” walks for the first week with 24-48 hours between each walk. I can increase the time by 10% each week, and I go back to see him in 6 weeks.  He gave me a solid “B” in terms of general healing, with an A+ coming when I can actually run again.  He’s thinking 2-3 more months before I can start back up with the running.  I told CU yesterday that I can’t imagine actually being able to run again but in all honestly, a few weeks ago I had trouble believing I’d ever get to the point where I could walk around again like a normal person.  It’s odd…I’d been on the crutches or the cane for seven weeks, but I tend to forget that my walking was seriously compromised for a good two weeks prior to that.

I’ve also been advised to start the usual regimen of lower body stretching (time to crack out the Yoga for Runners DVD again) and lower body strengthening.  He isn’t sending me to physical therapy because really, there’s nothing they’d do there that I can’t do on my own.  His words, not mine.  I mentioned my previous diagnosis of a rotated pelvis by my previous ortho, and he said based on my x-rays, he didn’t see anything abnormal with me.  Really.  Then he said he thinks rotated pelvises are over-diagnosed by doctors who just want to send people to PT.  Reallllllllllly.  Hmm.  That was a bit of an eye-opener for me, only because the guy was being honest. My old ortho did precisely that – sent me to PT for three months two years ago to try and solve my IT band issues which were allegedly caused by my rotated pelvis.

Anyhoo…I’m now officially on the rehabilitation track.  I went to get my hair cut and highlighted yesterday and as I was checking out, my stylist wished me luck on my rehab. The guy at the front desk (who is fabulous and has known me the whole 11 years I’ve gone to the salon) got these BIG EYES and said, “YOU’RE GOING TO REHAB?”  LOL.  Yes sir, Dr. Drew and the folks from Non-Celebrity Rehab are out front in their big, white van.

So, yesterday was a good day.  I’m blonde again, and my doctor gave me an excellent prognosis.  Today’s an even better day so far. My left leg has stopped screaming in pain, so I should be able to lace up the shoes and head back out tomorrow.  Now we start the slow, but steady climb back.  Hooray!

It is a beautiful Spring morning in Dallas…45-ish degrees and clear. The sun’s coming up.

Today’s a big day.  You see, today is the inaugural Dallas Rock ‘n Roll Half Marathon…the race I decided back in December to start training for.  The race for which I made it to week 4 of my training program before a tiny papercut-esque stress fracture in my pelvis sidelined me first from running, then from walking.  I gotta tell you…today seemed like a LONG ways away when I started my training.

The original deal was that I wouldn’t register until I successfully made it through an 8-mile long run. I didn’t want to register and then wind up not being able to run because I, ahem, injured myself or something. So I was fairly smart in that regard…but still.  I had no idea if I was going to be able to actually run the race, but I wanted to try and see how far I could go. What pissed me off about this whole stress fracture BS was that I wasn’t the one who got to make the go/no go choice.

So yeah, I’m a little down this morning. It was weird. With the whole “spring forward” thing I figured I’d sleep in until 8 or 9 but no, I was up at 5. Ready to go.  I may not be there in body, but I am in spirit. Next year, right?

On a less melancholy note, I go in to the orthopedist on Tuesday for my 7-week checkup.  I’ve been walking around sans crutches here and there the last couple of days, and am trying to decide if the nagging groin pain is just nagging groin pain (it’s not like I’ve used my left leg much in the last two months) or a signal that I’m not yet healed. I’m going to go with the former, until my doctor tells me differently.

I’m ready to start rehab. I’m ready for this long, miserable Winter to be over. I’m ready to get off the five pounds I’ve gained. I’m ready to get on with the rest of my year!

A couple of people mentioned The Amazing Race in comments to  my previous post, so I figured I’d post some prelim thoughts…

Fave Team: Irongrandma & Granddaughter. Love them. Loved the shot of Irongrandma lifting weights.

Least Fave Team: Can I say “everyone else”?

Seriously, Sunday night’s season premiere was one of the dullest I’ve ever seen.  What’s worse, TAR has gone the way of the Real World and added All Types of People as stock teams.  No average Joes or Janes anymore. We have the Gay Brother, the Lesbian Partners, the African-American attorneys/”mompreneurs” (GAG), the Cowboys with Hats…blah, blah, blah…yawn.  The show lost me halfway to LAX…along with more than a few of the teams.

Yesterday I said to Capt. UberHusband…”We missed who got sent home on The Amazing Race last night, didn’t we?” Turns out…we didn’t, the ending was just that utterly forgettable.  Sad. What kind of lame-ass team can’t even finish the first challenge?

In a similar vein, since Ali decided her Facebook job had more long-term potential than a relationship with Jake, I was stuck watching fantasy dates last night on The Bachelor which made my stomach churn ‘n turn.

Gia: Jake, if you like the fact that she always seems to be decked out in $700 shoes, wait until you’re trying to support that habit on your $28,000/year pilot’s salary OR you’re hit up to help pay off what is likely massive credit card death…oops, I mean debt.  What was that old Carrie Bradshaw line…”I was literally the old woman who lived in her shoes”.

Vienna: Crazy eyes. Cross-eyed eyes. Clearly Jake doesn’t watch How I Met Your Mother.

Tenley: Young. Divorced. Bordering on desperate to show she can “still love” after divorce. Of course you can. You’re only 25.

Really, Jake?  You’re the only Bachelor I haven’t thought was a complete douchebag by the end of the season (at least, not yet)…but you have lousy taste when it comes to women. No wonder you’re still single.  Good grief.  I don’t like any of the women left. I don’t seem to like anyone lately. Am I getting cranky and grumpy in my old age?

Nah…I still adore everyone on Big Love. So you see, TV shows, it’s not me…it’s very much you.

But, the resort was beautiful.  Have you seen it’s Bachelor Proposal Package?  There’s an additional upgrade you can get, but you have to call the resort directly…for $399 you can get an alternate girl in case yours says no.

In other news, still hobbling on the cane…albeit with less pain now than last week. Not sure if that’s due to the increased amount of time I’ve spent firmly planted on my ass (yay for husbands being home!), or the Tylenol I’ve been popping like candy to nip a rather annoying earache in the bud…either way, less pain = less complainy Stacy. That’s good for all of us.

When I deactivated (YES!)  my Facebook account yesterday, Facebook tried to guilt me into staying by displaying a page of pictures of me and my friends and saying, “So-and-so will MISS YOU!”  Yeah well, if they’re going to miss me that much…then they likely are on Twitter or have my email address.  I’m not dying after all…I’m just removing myself from a social networking site.  Sheesh.

Now, had Facebook told me that if I deactivated my account six inches of snow would fall in the DFW metroplex the next day…then I might have taken heed.

BTW…still hobbling around. More pain this week than last, which is weird. Trying to deal with my lack of mobility…it’s hard, and I don’t always succeed with the grace (“grace” being a relative term right now) and humor I’d like. Working on it, though.

Got back from my ortho doc a bit ago…the diagnosis: pubic ramus stress fracture.  The good news, it isn’t my hip and there isn’t anything surgical that needs to be done. The bad news, I’ll be on the cane for at least another 4-6 weeks.  I’m seriously considering crutches once Capt. UberHusband is back home for good and can help out, because I’m not sure now that the cane is doing a good enough job of keeping all the weight off my left side. But, we’ll have to see.

In terms of running…I won’t be able to even think about running for another three months. Isn’t that crazy? I just started running eight months ago, and here I am…almost four weeks since my last run with another 3 months ahead of me. But, I’m more interested now in being able to walk unassisted at more than a snail’s pace!

I found a couple of personal blogs that mentioned this particular malady, so I’ll provide my presenting symptoms for anyone who happens upon this post as well:

• Running approximately 10-13 miles/week, began in May of ’09.  Began increasing my weekly mileage in November of ’09, but in very small increments (~ 1 mile/week).
• Pain began 12/21/09 after a 3-mile run. Felt like a groin pull on both legs. Uncomfortable, but I could walk.
• Waited for groin pain to subside, went out and ran again on 12/28 ~ 4 miles, no groin pain until post-run, after I’d cooled down. More uncomfortable than painful, slowed down my walking but wasn’t significant.
• Ran on 1/1, 1/2, 1/4 – slight pain before the run, greater pain post-run. Little pain actually during the run after I’d warmed up.
• 1/6 ~ ran 4 miles, a couple hours after I’d finished the groin pain was so bad that I couldn’t walk. Haven’t been able to walk at a normal pace since.
• Tried ice, heat, NSAIDs, topical pain creams, and yoga stretching to try to loosen the muscles up. No dice.
• About 10 days ago, the pain got so bad after about an hour of walking (I was in NYC) that I couldn’t walk at all. Excruciating pain when putting any pressure on the left leg.
• Pain no longer confined to the groin area, also now pain in left lower back, hip, and thigh. Putting any weight on the left leg sends shooting pains up my pelvic area and underneath my buttocks. Also pain along the crease of my leg/torso.
• Started walking with a cane this past Monday (1/25) so I could at least get around.  After staying off it for awhile (at least a couple of hours), I can get up and walk slowly for about ten steps before the shooting pain begins again.
• Over the last week, it has become painful to lay on my left side. Uncomfortable to lay on my back or left side, but not painful

My first visit to an ortho for this issue was a disaster.  It was a doctor I’d seen before for other issues, and he completely blew off all my symptoms and recommended physical therapy. I *knew* when I went in to see him that this wasn’t an issue of tight hip flexors, or my IT band, or my SI joint.  I had read enough horror stories of people who had my exact symptoms and were misdiagnosed and mistreated for weeks, and even months.

I had to literally, beg him to do an MRI order. He said we could do one, but it would probably be negative, and then we’d be back to PT. When I asked him what the diagnosis was, he said he didn’t know. “Vague symptoms give you a vague diagnosis.”  As you can see from my list above, my symptoms were anything but vague. Plus, how on Earth could he recommend a PT treatment plan without a diagnosis?  Yeah, I was annoyed.

I did get an MRI order from him (and he brusquely left the exam room, med student in tow, without even saying goodbye), but came home and instead went looking for another doctor.  I’m sorry, but that was a total bullshit treatment by my now-former doctor, and I didn’t trust him at all.  He ran off so fast he didn’t even see that it took a full three minutes for me to hobble to the end of the hallway to check out.  Asshole.

So…last Friday I went to a new ortho, a sports medicine specialist. The visit went well.  I even brought CU with to make sure my medical interests were being served. I had some x-rays done, which were kinda-sorta inconclusive…but he did say he was a bit concerned about my pelvic area. Sure enough, when he examined the abdominal area I had a good deal of tenderness…and then he recommended an MRI to either rule in or rule out a stress fracture.

When I went in, I figured it was a hip stress fracture.  I’m glad it’s not, because that’s much more dangerous and from what I understand, has the potential to have a significantly longer rehab period.

And so, there we have it. No half-marathons for me anytime soon. I’m now hoping to run White Rock in December. For now though, I’d be content just being able to walk to the bathroom in the middle of the night.

I’m trying to stay positive, though. It’s difficult. I’m used to being mobile and self-sufficient, and this is a serious dent in my lifestyle. But, when my doctor looked me in the eye and said, “Stacy, you will run again”, I knew that I’d be okay giving up a few months for the greater reward.

I’ll keep ya’ll updated!

When I was up in NYC last week, I was drinking some coffee and flipping through the January ’10 issue of Runner’s World when I stopped to read an article by John “The Penguin” Bingham.  Our subscription to RW just started a few weeks ago, so this was my introduction to John Bingham. Imagine my displeasure when I found out the guy wasn’t going to be writing any more columns for RW, as he was jumping ship to write for The Man over at Competitor.com.

I’ve been looking for a link to the article, because it literally almost brought me to tears. Sure, he’s been running 17 years longer than me…BUT, this has not been an easy road so far for me. First off, I started running just as the Texas heat was rearing its ugly head. I was slow…very slow. I was 37 and probably a good 20 lbs. overweight. I twisted my ankle four weeks into the Couch to 5K program, which sidelined me for a month.  I couldn’t find the right shoes to handle my over-pronation and flat feet, and what I thought were the “right” shoes wound up giving me problems elsewhere; i.e., shin and ancillary leg pain. I experienced the return of exercise-induced asthma, something I thought I’d sloughed off 15 years ago.

But, I also ran four 5Ks.  My doctor introduced me to this miracle drug (LOL) called Symbicort, which allowed me to run four consecutive miles last month.  I made it a third of the way through the training program for my first half-marathon (which included a long run of six miles) before my left hip began giving me significant problems.  At first I thought it was a bad groin pull, but now I know that isn’t it. Now I’m trying to find a doctor I trust, one that will help me to diagnose why I can’t walk without a cane at this point. I have an appointment on Friday, and hopefully that will set me on the road to recovery…whatever the prognosis.

So after all of this…and after having my hopes raised and dashed about a half-dozen times over the last eight months, John Bingham’s words were both encouraging and bittersweet. I’m at a weird crossroads in my fledgling running career, where I’m wondering if I’ll ever be able to run again…much less break that elusive 11:00 min/mile marker.  I’m not exaggerating when I say that as soon as I overcome something that seems to be The Reason why I’m having problems running…something else takes its place. It’s frustrating as Hell.

Since I can’t find the article online, I’m retyping it and posting it here. I think every runner who’s wanted to just pack it in should read it, as should anyone else who has ever just wanted to give up on something…even though you know the overall rewards will always outweigh the penalties (real or perceived).

I ripped the page out of the magazine, folded it up, and am carrying it around with me. I’m not done, yet. As I’ve said before…I’m slow, and I don’t care. I enjoy running, and want to be able to do it for the long haul.  If I have to start back over in two months walking five minutes and then running for a minute…rinsing and repeating, that’s what I’ll do.

On the Road Again

As my eighteenth year as a runner comes to a close, I find myself reflecting back on what I’m most proud of.  Given that I’ve spent my running career in the back of the pack, you might not think there’s much to brag about. But there is.  I placed second in my age group once, at a small duathlon in Indiana. Never mind there were only two competitors in my age group and the first place guy finished an hour ahead of me – a trophy is a trophy.

I’m also proud I’ve completed 43 of 45 marathons I’ve started. Not a bad finishing percentage. I walked off the course in Huntsville, Alabama, because it was cold and windy and with nine miles to go, I just didn’t have the heart to finish. And I limped off the course at mile 20 in Tucson after it became clear my IT band was not going to cooperate for those last six.

I’ve set PRs along the way. A 4:35 marathon in Dallas. A 1:51 half in Nashville. A 24-minute 5K in Kentucky. As special as those were, it’s not the PRs or awards that make me most proud. I take the greatest pride in the fact that I’ve kept coming back to running even when it would’ve been easier to give it up.  And for someone like me with limited talent, there have been lots of opportunities to quit.

I could have quit before I got the third cortisone shot in my hip, or the second in my knee.  I could have told myself I just didn’t have a runner’s body, or that it was too late for someone like me to become a runner. I could have. But I didn’t.

Every time I had to start over (which was always because I pushed too far or too fast), I started over. I’d open up a blank page in my log and begin from scratch.

I knew, at some level, that running was both creating my life and saving it.  After 25 years of smoking, drinking, and eating more than my share, I realized that running was the only path that would lead to a new and better me. and I never wanted to stray from that path again.

Eventually, though, I realized the cycle of starting over, training hard, getting injured, recovering, and beginning again couldn’t last forever.  I feared there would come a time when I couldn’t start over. I had to recognize that while running was a healthy activity, my obsession with it was just as unhealthy as every other obsession had been. It wasn’t as obvious as smoking, or abusing drugs or alcohol, but the damage I was doing to myself by not listening to my body was similar.

The great lesson that I learned from running – because I wanted to run for the rest of my life – was that I had to accept the limits of my body. I had to adjust my goals to match the reality of my abilities. I had to understand that if I wanted to run forever, I might have to not run today. Taking a day, a week, or a month off, if necessary, might be hard, but it wouldn’t mean giving up.

For someone who has quit jobs, left relationships, forgotten dreams, and often quit when the going got tough, running has been the exception. I haven’t quit. I’m not going to quit, even if I take a break. And in that I take enormous pride.

Waddle on, friends.

Written by John Bingham, originally printed in the January 2010 issue of Runner’s World

From Jeff Galloway’s blog today:

Be Positive

As your long ones are getting longer, have a list of statements that you can repeat as necessary to yourself. You’re going to have discouraging thoughts slipping out from the left brain so we’ll work on a way to bypass them and move into the world of the positive.

• I have no pressure on myself.
• I’m going to enjoy this.
• I’ll start very slowly.
• The people I’m with (or are thinking about) are great.
• Because I started slowly, I’m finishing strong.
• The satisfaction of doing this is unequaled.

I”m trying very hard to re-record the tapes in my head, to say things like “Just because my feet hurt, that doesn’t mean I’m not enjoying this or I can’t do this” instead of, “My feet really hurt. I can’t do this. Maybe I’m just not cut out for running.”

On my four-mile loop, there’s a really pretty pond around the 2.5-mile mark. I had to nearly force myself to notice the positive of how beautiful the pond looked yesterday (brilliant sky blue reflection…it was a super-clear, crisp morning) instead of my usual, “GOD I CAN’T BELIEVE I HAVE ANOTHER MILE AND A HALF TO GO. UGH.”  Why can’t I maximize the positive and not necessarily eliminate (I’m not delusional), but lessen the negative?  I’m working on it.

Enough stalling. I have a date with a recumbent bike and Dr. Frasier Crane.

So I’m sitting here on my couch with a bag of frozen veggies between my legs (yay! groin injury!) after a 4-mile trek through the neighborhood, and I decide to update my Facebook status.

Stacy Lynch: rather than beat myself up any further, in 2010 I’m going to celebrate the fact that I am 38 years old and if I get my ass off the couch and out into 30-degree weather to run…regardless of my speed, I’m doing better than 90% of the general population. SO THERE.

Do you run?  More importantly, do you run slowly?  When you read asinine articles about plodders being the running world’s equivalent of pond scum do you think, “HEY JACKASS, believe me if I could blow through 26.2 miles in three hours I would“?  If you do, I’m your girl.

Is your body rebelling, almost mocking you for approaching 40 and trying to do what you couldn’t even do when you were 16?  Did you think that groin injuries were reserved exclusively for sprinters and newlyweds?  If it is or if you do, I’m really your girl.

I mentioned in my last blog post that I wanted to write more about running in general and my running, and how it seems to be slowly but surely changing my life…if you’ll excuse the cliché. I know, I sort-of rolled my eyes when I wrote it.  A lot of people out there don’t “get” why I started to run or how on Earth I’ve managed to stick with it, and I’ve heard all the jokes so far…”I’ll only run if something’s on fire”…etc.

I’m not running to lose weight, although I’ve managed to lose the ten pounds I’ve put back on over the last year. I’m running because it’s a challenge, and if there’s nothing I like more in life…it’s a challenge. Problem is, no one can ever set the bar high enough for me. That’s been my chief complaint about life for the past 15 years…not enough challenge.  I haven’t had a manager or a job challenge me in 12 years.  Getting my MBA was distressingly easy. Collectively, all of that frustrates the crap out of me.

But if there’s one thing I can do…I can run, and I can make myself run farther. There are limits to how fast I can go, but no limit to how far I can go.  Wow. That was beautiful. LOL.