and all I got was this stupid “Do Not Disturb” sign!” –Cookie

Oh my God, we had the best time this weekend. I hesitate to say “had” because really, we’re still in the midst of our anniversary weekend - we’re just at home for the last third. We’ve never stayed at a Ritz-Carlton…and I’m happy we were able to procure a decent rate…well, decent that is, until they tacked on the occupancy tax. I forgot how expensive the hotel taxes are here in Dallas.

Anyhoo…we’ve stayed at a couple of Four Seasons hotels and a handful of other “luxury”-type hotels, but this place spoiled us. Literally. Let me list out a few ways…

• Upon check-in, we asked if there was any way we could get upgraded - and they told us they had already upgraded us to a suite. Sweet!
• The staff sent up an anniversary card and chocolates after they found out we were there for our anniversary. Sweets!
• There was a TV in the bathroom mirror. A TV. In the bathroom mirror.
• Our original room had access to the club lounge, so we still had that - and the club lounge provided us with five food presentations a day which included continental breakfast, a light lunch presentation, afternoon tea, evening cocktails (complimentary) and late-evening desserts. My one regret - I didn’t get a picture of the clock made out of chocolate in the club lounge. Actually, I didn’t get any pictures of the club lounge. Oh well. Will have to go back, I guess.
• We took our books down to Fearing’s Bar last night around 5:30, and were treated to complimentary tastings of Fearing’s margaritas and freshly-made guacamole. As someone who gags and practically convulses at the smell of tequila, I didn’t want to bother with the margarita but…it was really good. Really good. And I’m not just saying that because it was complimentary.

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Diamond Head & Waikiki

Originally uploaded by snarkwife

We get to start planning next year’s trip!

It’s all fun and games, until you have to go home

Originally uploaded by snarkwife

Our flight has been delayed…are we there yet?

Sunset

Originally uploaded by snarkwife

Sakes alive…I can’t believe tomorrow is our last day here! Honestly, this has easily been in the…top three vacations we’ve taken. You can always tell how good of a time I’m having by how many pictures I’ve taken. We went to several beaches, I actually swam out in the ocean more than five feet (a big deal for me, let me tell you) and we’re about to head back out to do some snorkeling. By this point in the day, I’m usually in the room watching Korean soap operas, waiting for meal time.

I’ve seen my fill of turtles, and am looking forward to our afternoon down in Waikiki before heading to the airport tomorrow evening. I still can’t believe Adelle’s coming in Thursday…the day after we leave! Oh, the fun we could have had if we could have just overlapped for one day!

I’m not too upset about heading home though, because I’m off work until next Monday. I know I say this every time I’m about to finish up a week in Hawaii, but I seriously need to implement Aloha Friday at Casa de Snark. At noon I kick on the Sirius radio to the Hawaiian channel, at 3:30 I leave work…it might sound strange, but I live in Texas. Allow me this one thing. Please. I beg of you.

Kawela Bay

Originally uploaded by snarkwife

We’re not coming back…

Don’t be too jealous, though…I have to get on a team chat in 33 minutes for my marketing project. That really bites.

Ever wonder what it’s like to vacation with Snarkwife and Capt. UberHusband? Do we eat at exotic restaurants every night?

Nah, we eat raw fish and fried foods. But, we eat all that with a really good bottle of wine. That’s what really counts.

You’ll have to excuse the quality…the video looks great until Photobucket works it’s magic during upload and then pixilates the bejeezers out of it.

Oops

Originally uploaded by snarkwife

I don’t know which is more disturbing…breaking this glass and totally disrupting our dinner, or eating fried chicken with chopsticks.

Sexy, no?

I’m up early again…and ready for the day to begin. You know, I don’t mind waking up at 4 AM if I can stay up until at least 9 PM, and we seem to be doing pretty well staying up that late.

Yesterday was a fantastic day…we did have breakfast at the Hukilau Cafe and were going to go back today, but the owner has family in town so it won’t be open today. That’s okay…I can get by on coffee, a muffin and my leftover scrambled eggs, fried rice and Portuguese sausage from yesterday morning. YUM!

We spent some time at the beach…saw Oceanic Flight 815, had lunch at Cholo’s and then came back to watch the sea turtles feed. I love watching the turtles. Seriously, it’s one of my top three things to do up here.

Oh, as a side note…I will never ever go on vacation when school is in session again. Long story short, half my team went MIA and 3/4 of my team forgot what their responsibilities were with our 1st deliverable…which is due today. Urgh. The last thing I was interested in doing was getting on my cell phone to call people and find out what the Hell was going on. Urgh.

Fortunately, this all went down right before my spa appointment and surprisingly, I was able to wind down enough to enjoy the experience. I really enjoy spa-ing. Want to know my favorite part? It wasn’t the sound of the waves crashing or the warmth of the sun streaming into the outdoor cabana. It wasn’t even the chilled orange water, although that was great. The steam room was blissful, but not my favorite part. Oh, no. My favorite part was when I had to sign a waiver, and initial the form indicating (among other things) my understanding that “Spa Luana does not provide massages of a sexual nature.” Really? Well geez, the why was I paying them all that money?

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I love going to Hawaii…it’s the only place where I can fall asleep at 9 PM and then wake up bright and early at 4 AM. It wasn’t as torturous to stay up that late this year. Last year I think we were literally dragging ourselves to bed about 7. I read somewhere the biggest cause of post-travel fatigue is dehydration, so we kept drinking water…lots of it. I think it worked.

Anyway, waking up to this news definitely put me in a more-relaxed mood. Good work, Steve. Now I just have to find Apple merchandise to purchase…hmm…iPod nano, anyone? CU just go this iPod video in February, and we will not be upgrading that anytime soon.

It’s 5:36 AM, and we’re waiting until the coffee kiosk opens at the Turtle Bay Resort so I can get some much needed caffeine. After that, we’re off to breakfast at the Hukilau Cafe. We need to take care of a few administrative tasks such as buying drinks and snacks, but then I plan to plop my happy ass on the beach in front of our building and read about consumer behavior, because I have a quiz in a week. Fan-tastic. Later this afternoon, I have an appointment for an outdoor massage…and then after that, we really don’t have any plans.

At some point (not Monday), CU and I are going to Fort Derussy to visit the Army Museum. Funny story…every time we’ve come here and have had the hankering to go to the Army Museum, it’s been a Monday. They’re closed on Monday. We said we can’t go visit other islands until we take care of that unfinished Derussy business. I’m thinking our “in town” day might be tomorrow.

Anyhoo, I’m off to wait for the sun to come up! Check out our pictures from the plane…I must say, the iPhone didn’t do too bad of a job.

I can not WAIT to get out of here. Our flight leaves at 12:45 PM, and we will be landing around 4 PM Hawaii time…or…ugh…9 PM Dallas time.

It’s going to be a long day. I half thought about live-blogging the “en route” travel experience a’la Jerkwad Steve Jobs with his “The beat goes on…and beats you down” special event, but we’ll have to see. After many hours of searching for a reliable moblog solution…I’m stuck. Worse comes to worse, I take a picture, email it to Flickr and then post to the blog from Flickr. Yeah, sounds kind of clunky to me, too.

Plus…who wants to see pictures of people who fly to Hawaii on Thursdays? All of the real action is on Sunday, when you get to watch awkward honeymooners.

The good news is, for all intents and purposes, we’re ready to head out on vacation. Since we’re staying someplace with a washer & dryer and aren’t landing until close to 4 PM tomorrow afternoon (5 hour time difference…ugh…), we’re going the carry-on route. We wouldn’t even bother if we weren’t flying First Class but since we’ll have the space…why not. The biggest challenge so far has been getting all of my necessities into a 1-quart baggie - or so I thought it would be. Turns out, I use less stuff than I thought - it’s Captain UberHusband who has all the foofoo shaving paraphernalia taking up valuable space.

I just need to complete a few more things…finish cleaning the house (I like to come home to a clean house), finish up the narrative for my marketing class’s team project prospectus, make a spa appointment for Friday…oh, and I have a pedicure appointment at 4. I’m still undecided on whether to go and get another round of Mystic Tan to “top off” my visit over the weekend. It’s pouring down rain right now, so I feel sort of strange about enhancing my tan.

Due to unforseen circumstances (stupidsoftwarerolloutdatechanged…ahem)…Mama Snark can’t come down and puppysit Poodle and Schnoozer…so they’re stuck in doggie jail for an entire week. Truth be told though, I think they get more attention in doggie jail than they do here at home.

When I went over to my next-door neighbor’s house last night to give her our contact info and a key to our house (that’s right folks, we’re serious), she told me again how I was the only normal person in our neighborhood. She said every married woman she’s run into has looked at her like she wants to steal their husband…except for me. That’s a good thing, right? I wanted to tell her I didn’t think she would steal my husband, but please don’t use that key to steal any of our stuff.

So, here’s how far in advance Capt. UberHusband and I plan our vacations: last year, I bought our plane tickets for our 9/06 trip five months before he even got home from Iraq. This year, we bought them…in February, I think.

Why you might ask, do we buy our tickets so early? Well, we generally either buy coach tickets and then use our miles to upgrade, or use our miles outright to get first class seats. Because seats are limited for us bottom-feeders who laugh in the face of paying full price to fly in a premium cabin, we have to have our act together very early in the process.

Anyway, we planned our trip before I made the big decision to go back to school. Now we know to schedule our vacations during my breaks, but we were sort of stuck when it came to Hawaii this year. I don’t know about you, but I’m not particularly amped to get on a plane and fly 3500 miles to a tropical paradise for a week of fun, sun, drinks, fresh fish and…studying. Ugh. There’s something about toting textbooks to the beach that reminds me a little too much of my undergrad days. Then again, if I was able to actually get a degree from U.C. Santa Barbara with the beach only ten minutes away for four years, maybe it won’t be that bad.

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Well kids, we made it back from Chi-town on Sunday afternoon, where we had a wonderful time…click here for photos. Our flight out of DFW was delayed for about an hour and that combined with rush-hour traffic into the city center caused us to get in pretty late. Never fear though, after dinner we were ready to go! To sleep!

Ha. Seriously though, it was a wonderful trip. We made it to the Shedd Aquarium on Friday morning, and shopped…and walked…and shopped…and ate…then ate some more. It rained a good deal of the trip (despite being 88 degrees Thursday afternoon) but from what I understand, it poured rain here at home, too so…six to one, as it were.

Saturday night was the wedding, which was beautiful, if not long…Catholic nuptial masses wear me out. Plus, they always make my wedding feel insignificant…as if our 20 minute “keep it simple, stupid” ceremony wasn’t sufficient. LOL.

We were back for a total of one day before Capt. UberHusband had to turn around and head back up to NYC today. Funny story…he got up (which means, we all got up) at 4:30 a.m. for his 7 a.m. flight…then wound up missing his flight, not being able to get on the next THREE flights, then finally chucking the whole trip. Twelve hours ago I didn’t expect to see him until Thursday night and now, he’ll be back here in about an hour. Poor guy.

In my corner of the world, things are good…school is keeping me pretty busy (busier than I probably should be for one class, good thing I’ll have two next term) and I’ve already gotten into my first “conversation” with the instructor about her ambiguous essay guidelines. If you say, “Since this is a “personal” essay, almost any content is acceptable as long as it is related to the Unit content. There must be an explicit link to the unit content in your essay to receive maximum credit. In other words you need to include the concept from the unit material you are referencing in your essay” and my essay is 100% related to the content, it’s really not cool to mark me down ten points with the vague, “I wish you would have expounded on the topic more.” Urgh.

That’s it from my neck of the woods…is anyone still out there? How were your holiday weekends?

Time to rip off the bandage this Memorial Day weekend, and get over my fear of going back to Chicago. Long-time readers will remember what happened the last time CU and I went took a trip to the Windy City.

Ironically, we’re heading up there for the wedding of one of CU’s roommates (tentmates? deploymentmates? sandmates?) in Iraq…and I had to go dig out CU’s discharge papers to verify, with 100% accuracy, that by some sicko twist of fate he couldn’t wind up going back. I’ve met the groom…once…the day they came back from Iraq. CU lived with him for 8 months, but me…I hardly know the guy, so it seems incredibly odd to be going to his wedding.

Anyhoo…now the fun part begins…where do we stay, what do we see…where do we eat…do we stay at the Conrad, where I can fall out of bed and roll right into Nordstrom? For giggles, do we follow Giada’s lead, or do we throw caution to the wind and plan nothing until we get there? Ahahaha…yeah, you’re right. I’d never do that.

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He calls me this morning, and it’s like he’s in a movie. I hear people speaking French in the background, I hear police cars in the distance, and he tells me he’s walking past Cartier, and would I like anything? No thanks.

Capt. UberHusband: So, I think I figured out what Cookie would want if she came to Paris
Snarkwife: What’s that?
Capt. UberHusband: A Hermes dog collar
Snarkwife: Seriously?
Capt. UberHusband: Yeah
Snarkwife: How much are they?
Capt. UberHusband: Well, they don’t make one in Cookie’s size
Snarkwife: You’re joking…in Paris, Hermes doesn’t make a collar small enough to fit a toy poodle?
Capt. UberHusband: No…Pomeranians are about as small as they’ll fit, apparently.
Snarkwife: So how much are they?
Capt. UberHusband: Well, they vary from 210 to 510 Euros.

Looks like they’ll all be heading back in a couple of months to officially sign some project documents…and I may just have to go. Still probably won’t get anything from Cartier, though.

Out of all the things CU has done, and the things he’s seen this week in between his work obligations, I’m most bummed he’ll be able to see our old friend Troy tonight, and I won’t. Troy and I worked together many years ago, and spent quite a bit of time together before I met CU. We weren’t dating or anything…he was just a fun guy friend to hang out with and watch Dallas Stars games and see movies like American Pie. We haven’t seen him since he decided to chuck living in America and work for the foreign service. His latest post is Paris. Rough gig.

It’s almost like he’s back in Iraq…6:30 a.m. phone calls to me, emails back and forth, photos of exotic locales, itty bitty accommodations.

But, it’s his work cell number that pops up on Caller ID, not DFAS-ARMY-ABC123, and the view from his room is way better.

Okay, I am officially green with envy. I don’t care if it’s a deadly sin. I should have cashed in some of my 94,000 frequent flier miles, since the plane was only about 2/3 full. Coulda, woulda, shoulda.

We noticed last night’s American Idol seemed to be significantly less caustic than last week’s…either that or my head was so stuffed up and my ears were so plugged up, I just didn’t hear anything below a certain decibel level. At one point, so many people said they wanted to go to Hollywood that CU replied to the TV screen, “If you want to go to Hollywood, just buy a plane ticket!”

But, there weren’t any points when I wanted to switch channels…although during commercials we watched a really phun Dr. Phil episode, where two engaged adults (”Chuck” and “Renee”) disguised as 7-year olds competed to see who could show the most contempt towards the other while still saying “I just love him/her to death!”

It’s always strange being back home after going on vacation, but CU and I had a fantastic time. We were so happy to be able to meet up with Becky again, and I will still always marvel at how wonderful it is in Seattle…the drivers aren’t as manic as they are here, and it’s so…quiet. No screaming children. After nine years, you start to think every location on Earth has as many screaming children as North Texas but apparently, that just isn’t the case.

As a matter of fact, we had such a great time that I brought a little bit of the Pacific Northwest home with me…in the form of a cold virus. First one in…at least two years. I think.

In random celebrity news, Mischa Barton turns 21 today…meaning she can now legally drink. A round of kamikazes for everyone, and a shot of Nyquil for me.

Well, it’s our last full day of vacation (tomorrow doesn’t count - travel day) and we moved into Seattle proper yesterday afternoon. After being illness-free for nearly three years, I managed to get a cold although with the amount of drugs I’ve been ingesting, you can hardly tell. It’s there, but I’m choosing to ignore. I’m blaming all the wine tasting…it moderation it’s supposed to be good for you and promote health but after tasting 31-some odd different wines, maybe the opposite happens.

Anyhoo…we’re off to clean up and then we’re headed down to the Market to do some browsing and shopping. We might hop a ferry over to an island (I’ve always wanted to do that), or we might spend the rest of the day walking the streets, asking people how to get to Seattle Grace.

You know how sometimes you look through old photo albums, and you find a picture of yourself doing something which at the time seemed like no big deal, but now is really embarrassing?

Here’s the blogosphere’s equivalent of that. Oh what a difference a couple of years makes.

Rediscovering all of my old blog posts is a double-edged sword…I get to see all the really cool things I’d sort of forgotten I’d documented, but then I also find things like recaps of North Shore & Joe Schmo 2.

Yes…I said North Shore.

CU and I made it into Seattle last night, after a rather bumpy but otherwise uneventful flight in. On our descent, it was completely cloudy, but we were able to see the majesty that is Mt. Rainier off to the left of the plane, sticking up through the clouds. We enjoyed it while we could, since we probably won’t see it again until next Tuesday morning on the way out.

When we were stuck in rush hour traffic travelling north on our way to the hotel I asked CU, “I wonder if Dr. Addison Montgomery has to sit in this traffic like everyone else?” When what to my wondering eyes should appear…on Grey’s last night, we saw Addison coming into town on the ferry. So she doesn’t have to sit in freeway traffic…she just has to sit in ferry traffic. Question answered.

We have a big day of wine tasting and relaxation planned. It is so nice to be out of Dallas…I can’t even begin to tell you.

I’ve read some folks go through a bit of a depression after the holidays, because there’s just so much go-go-go and festivity and songs and commercials and freaking joy so, when it’s all over…it’s like someone taking away your fistful of sparklers on the Fourth of July. Or, like someone cancelling The O.C.

This time 6 years ago, I was slapped in the face with the reality that my wedding was only a couple of weeks around the corner. That’ll yank you out of whatever Seasonal Affective Disorder you’re in. Ever since then…when New Year’s Day is over, that’s cool…because we have an anniversary coming up…and our anniversaries are always fun.

We always try to do something unique related to the “traditional” gift for our anniversary. Two years ago, we went and bottled wine because the traditional gift was fruit. Last year’s gift was international travel to exotic destinations. I got the short end of the stick on that one.

This year, #6 is wood. Yeah, we could take the easy way out with the obvious and cheap gift (wakka wakka) but instead, we’re going to Woodinville to do some wine tasting and then spending a couple of days in Seattle.
What? What’s that you say…they make wine in Washington? You bet they do…and it’s fabulous. One of these days, we also want to take a drive over the hill to the Yakima Valley, but knowing what we know of I-90, we figured that wasn’t the best plan this go-around.

That’s so us. Normal people go to the Caribbean, or Hawaii, or Florida during the winter. We go to Seattle. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Geez…I don’t even need to write my San Antonio travelogue…CNN has done all the work for me.

And, here’s the Boudro’s guacamole I can’t shut up about:

There are always a few things we will always make time for when going to San Antonio. The first is the guacamole, which I’ve talked about for weeks. We had Boudro’s guacamole three times this trip. The other thing is the San Antonio River Tour. Sure, it’s touristy and kitschy but every time we do it, something new is added.

By far, the most entertaining part of the weekend was when we took the river tour. Our boatmaster, Juan, was a kick…as they all are. We had a full boat…as they all are, and four Hispanic (and very non-English speaking) riders were sitting right next to the UberHusband and me. Now, if they don’t speak English, that’s fine. We are in San Antonio and we understand it’s more North Mexico than South Texas.

However…

These people had zero consideration for anyone else on the boat. They were yapping VERY LOUDLY en español and getting up and standing up and moving around and taking pictures and generally being quite obnoxious. It’s a small boat. Lots of people. The four in question were not particularly small so obviously, when they got up, everyone noticed.

Now, I know how to say “shut up” and “sit down” in Spanish and considered saying just those things, until the one guy in the group lost his balance while moving around the moving boat and almost crushed the UberHusband. Not wanting to risk meeting the same fate and getting squished like a Boudro’s avocado, I bit my lip and thought, “This is going to make for such a great blog story.” Fortunately though, my intervention wasn’t necessary because Boatmaster Juan did the work for us. Again, much like CNN.

At one point Juan completely stopped the boat in the middle of the river and just stared at the group…hoping they’d notice the change in momentum. Nope. They just continued to talk and get up and take pictures and do their thing. Eventually, he pulled the boat over to edge, tied it up and went down to talk to Señor Motormouth.

Juan asked Señor Motormouth if he only spoke Spanish. Of course, he did. Juan only spoke English but tried to get the point across that they needed to quit getting up and moving around (including the “let your fingers do the walking” hand gesture) and quiet down so everyone else could enjoy the tour.

There were these two kids sitting next to me and their moms were across from us…and we were all dying. We were laughing so hard, but trying not to laugh too loud…and we all had tears running down our faces watching Juan try to handle these insolent dolts.

Juan’s stern reprimand worked…for about two minutes. Then, they were back to their oblivious ways. At the end of these tours, the boatmaster always makes a plea for tips and generally, we don’t give anything. This time though, Juan entertained us and we gave the guy five bucks because he sure did try and he gets extra points for managing to be funny and not a jackass around a group of difficult people.

Yay. Fun trip.

The only thing that sucks is now the official “countdown” has started. Up until two days ago, I had this wonderful weekend to look forward to and distract me from the fact that the UberHusband was going to leave just a few days after we got back.

Lots going on…a few things to finish up, a few more people to say goodbye to and then…there you have it.

The UberHusband and I are partaking in a little R & R in San Antonio this weekend before he splits town and officially becomes Capt. UberHusband.

We haven’t been to San Antonio in a while…probably in a couple of years. I remember one time when we went before we got married, we did the river cruise tour (we always do that) and the guide told us about a movie filming we’d all just missed…”Something with Sandra Bullock.” Turns out, the movie he was talking about was Miss Congeniality.

Anyhoo, we plan on relaxing and eating guacamole all weekend. {{drool}} If you’ve never had the guacamole at Boudro’s, you haven’t lived. One weekend we went there and we had it for dinner…then lunch again the next day. We may have had it for dinner again the next night…I can’t remember.

We’re also going to take a side trip to Shiner, TX…home of the Shiner Brewery. Now, we’ve always wanted to go there and take the tour but they only run the tours on weekdays and we’ve always gone down on Friday and come back on Sunday. Since we’ll be gone until Tuesday night this time, we figured we’d go on Monday. Yay us.

We’re also trying to talk the UberHusband’s best friend into coming over from Houston. We haven’t seen Jim since he found out he was being deployed…and that was November of 2003. Way, way, way too long.

When you go in and check your work e-mails, you know your vacation is officially over.

I can’t complain. I had nearly two weeks of sunshine, relaxation and quality time with the UberHusband. It’s going to be tough having him leave and go to work tomorrow morning but alas, that is the reality for those of us who aren’t independently wealthy and can’t enjoy a life of permanent leisure.

Since I did an abhorrent job of keeping up with my trip while I was actually on it, I’ll be posting this week about it (in addition to everything else) and pointing out the hits and misses in terms of accommodations, activities, dining, etc.

I can’t tell you how great it was to watch the season finale of The Amazing Race and then go out the next day and visit all the places the three final teams visited…minus the skydiving onto the Sand Bar in the middle of Kaneohe Bay.

If only I had been able to get a picture of the chick in the g-string bikini. Oh well. Maybe next time.

Awww…it’s Valentine’s Day and there’s nothing like a tale of star-crossed lovers to show us the true spirit of the day.

Ha.

We’re moving up to the North Shore this afternoon, which means the frenetic pace of Waikiki that has been carrying me along like a 15-year-old in a mosh pit will come to a screeching halt tonight. I can’t seem to get my camera to hook up to the UberHusband’s laptop properly (dude, you’ve got a Dell!), but will catch up on my travelogue in the next couple of days.

I did spy the g-string bikini diva who was all over His Royal Daunte-ness earlier in the trip yesterday at the pool but, again, didn’t have my camera. Who’d have thought lightning would actually strike twice for me?

Aloha!

It’s Pro Bowl week here at the Hilton Hawaiian Village. Want to know what Daunte Culpepper orders at the Hau Tree Bar on a warm, sunny day?

“Vodka cranberry…Belvedere if you’ve got it.”

And to think, I thought people were gathering around me and the UberHusband because they were fans of my blog and recognized me from my photo.

He also likes his women with itty bitty g-string bikinis. Itty. Bitty.

It’s a bittersweet day for me…on the one hand, the UberHusband and I successfully stayed awake until 2 a.m. Dallas time (10 p.m. local time) to watch the season finale of The Amazing Race but on the other hand, had to watch Nancy Boy and Kendra win after being awake for twenty hours. I felt like I was on The Amazing Race.

I was NOT happy. I so badly wanted Kris & Jon to win. Oh well.

What was fun was watching the three remaining teams tool around Honolulu (we’re going to check some of the locales out; sorry, no skydiving), watching Hayden & Aaron quit (Losers! You’re losers!) and listening to Phil comment at the very beginning of the episode how Adam was afraid of or had some sort of significant issue with practically every single challenge he was presented with. Hee.

Three weeks until we get to watch Team Survivor race around the world for yet another million bucks. I don’t have a problem with Ambuh and Boston Rahb competing, I just don’t want the seventh season of the show to be all about them because they’re the season’s gimmick team.

Damn…it’s early. 5:42 a.m. to be exact. Time to find Snarky some Kona coffee. Did I mention the Pro Bowl is out here this weekend?

That’s my favorite Hawaiian word. Want to impress your friends? Say it without stuttering…it takes practice, but it’s certainly an achievable goal.

Well, we’re outta here in a few hours but I’m still planning on blogging a bit while on vacation and hopefully posting some photos of the Japanese sex kitten chic lovelies. Only in Honolulu can you see a Japanese person wearing Chanel sunglasses, a Prada miniskirt, a Juicy Couture shirt and Hermes shoes riding around on a Segway with a Louis Vuitton backpack. I say “person” because there’s an equal chance it will be a guy.

Don’t forget…the season finale of The Amazing Race is on tonight! Go Kris & Jon!

Aloha!

I had an email in my inbox this morning from someone in Arizona who wanted to know if I’d discontinued my TV recaps permanently because he hadn’t seen one in…gasp…a week! Just thought I’d let everyone know (in case my Seattle post below wasn’t enough of a clue) that I had been out of town since last Friday night and just got back here at about 7 p.m. last night. Without my personal laptop and without the luxury of Tivo at the Hyatt, I wasn’t really in a position to do my usual rapid-fire-response TV recaps.

Never fear though, I will try to get them all done today and tonight. Today is preferable, since The Apprentice: Who’s Bitchier Than Omarosa? begins tonight, as does Joey.

So, I’ll do my best. Per my usual schedule, I’ll post full recaps for North Shore and The Amazing Race and if time allows…minirecaps of Trading Spouses and Renovate My Family.

And yes, my uber-husband and I had a great time in Seattle. Wouldn’t have a problem moving there.

One other big “reason to like Seattle” that I can’t believe I forgot to add to my bulletized list from Tuesday…no screaming children. Seriously. We drove and walked all over Seattle proper and a few suburbs and I only heard one screaming child and that was at Seattle’s Best Coffee at Pike Place Market. And, he wasn’t really a child…he had to have been 8 or 9. And…I’m pretty sure his parents were tourists so they don’t count anyway.

I’m so used to living here and watching children not only backtalk and swear at their parents, but actually hit them and throw these Texas-sized fits in public. I inaccurately assumed that was de rigeur behavior for kids everywhere. Guess not. How refreshing.

While my husband tries to repair our broken travel plans since our flight out of Seattle was cancelled this morning due to “mechanical difficulties,” I thought I’d take this opportunity to make a mental and visual T-chart outlining the pros and cons of the greater Seattle area. For those of you who don’t know, there’s a very real possibility that my uber-husband and I may be relocating to the lovely Pacific Northwest area. It’s not a done deal by any means (the project my husband is working on is going through the bid process right now) but we’re definitely getting in the mindset for a possible move.

Great things about Seattle:

• No 100-degree days during the summer. 90 degrees is pushing it.
• Four days of local newspapers and not a single letter to the editor from a whiny teacher who thinks she’s overworked, underpaid and her health insurance premiums are too high.
• Three words: Round Table Pizza.
• Virtually unlimited amounts of super-duper-fresh seafood.
• Skiiing is one hour to the East, the ocean is two hours the other way.
• This city has a soul. Dallas? Not so much.
• Seattle is a very pet-friendly city.
• Coffee, coffee, coffee. Pick your favorite: Seattle’s Best Coffee, Tully’s or Starbucks.
• Mountains. Big ones.
• No one cares about the Dallas Cowboys.

Not-so-great things about Seattle:

• Housing prices. Yikes. Not as bad as California, but close.
• I’ve heard it rains here from time to time.
• Lots of liberal tree-huggers. LOL. Now I’ll admit, living in Texas for almost seven years has really made me conservative…but I grew up in California, and went to college there…so I can look at all of the “green” people and not gasp in horror and shock. But…it’s different, to say the least. Not bad, but different.
• Addresses. 138th St. NE, 138th Pl. NE and 138th Ave. NE are NOT the same thing.

I have just been advised that, unfortunately, we can’t get out of here until tomorrow. Boo. I miss my doggies and I bet I’ll have some explaining to do when we show up tardy to collect them…they will not be happy. For about ten minutes. Then they’ll never know we left.

Good thing my husband and I can get work done remotely, huh? Oh well, such is life. The Amazing Race is on tonight…the day can’t be all that bad, right?